dating app ads

Published on: February 2 2023 by pipiads

Woman TEARS DOWN Degenerate Dating Ads

[Music]. so today for the cancellation. i think my job is pretty easy: i need only pass the cancellation, mike the baton to an unnamed woman- as yet unnamed- on the subway who, um- different subway from the inside edition thing- who took matters into her own hands to cancel a disgusting pornographic ad campaign by the dating app okay cupid. okcupid has littered subways and other areas in many major cities with posters and billboards advertising its services, with messages declaring that okcupid is for every single pansexual, every single non-monogamist, every single vaxxer, and there's a close-up picture of two people french kissing with their tongues apparently melded together. there it is. you can see that- um, every single tree hugger, with a picture of a half-naked guy with a potted plant shoved on his underwear. they've also plastered signs that say things like it's okay to have strong convictions and abandon them for a night and it's okay to only date someone who's pro-choice, and many other messages in that vein. while this woman on the train decided that she didn't approve of this campaign and was worried that children would see it and be influenced by it. so she responded by going through the train and simply tearing all the posters down herself. pretty great stuff. check it out. i don't know for kids to be looking at this. is that okay? no, it's not, it's wrong. this is propaganda. yeah, normalizing, normalizing the next generation. yeah, this is why, no, like, no one sees us. no, this is disgusting, because tv told them not to, not to get that, not to get to divide and upset us. the government is against us and you guys don't see it. okay, this is going to go away. it's never going to go away. so we, the people, say we don't want this anymore. beautiful sight to behold there, not the posters, but this woman doing what needs to be done. this is, of course, exactly the correct response to the insane filth that's shoved down our throats and our kids throats everywhere we go. the correct response is not tolerance, it's not politeness, it's not to be passive or nonchalant, it's not to transcribe all of our grievances in an email and fired off to okcupid customer service center just so they can ignore it, or rather gather around on their lunch break and laugh at it. the right approach is to remove the filth yourself. intolerance for it. intolerance is a virtue. one of the biggest mistakes we ever made in this culture and as conservatives, is to believe the lie that tolerance is, is is, a universal virtue, that it's a universal good and that you're somehow a good person, that how good you are as a person can be judged by your capacity to put up with things. man, that's an easy virtue: tolerance. the great thing about the, the so-called virtue of tolerance, is that you can be a virtuous person while laying on your couch eating doritos, because when you do that, you're tolerating everything. when you see something bad happening and you look the other way, that's tolerance, you're being tolerant. so it's a great virtue for cowards and lazy people, and that's why it's not a real virtue at all. she's displaying righteous intolerance here by removing it. now. they could go and put up the filth again, sure, but then you know, we should just take it down again, back and forth, back and forth, until they get the message. that's what the other side would do and has done. the only question is whether we want to continue abiding by rules that they don't abide by. they see something they don't like and they just say: i'll just take it down, that's it, i'll take it down, even if it's a 150 year old statue. i'll get a crowd of people. we'll, we'll take, we'll use some straps and we'll just we'll pull the thing down. should we handicap ourselves with this weird notion of decorum? i mean, there's there's appropriate times for decorum. i think this is an inappropriate time. should we do that while the other side rides through the land doing as they please? now, of course, you might argue that this is not a matter of mere decorum. perhaps this is a matter of rights, you might say. in fact, i've i've seen people on the right make this argument in response to this heroic woman in the subway, the subway avenger, as i have just now decided to call her. they said that okcupid has private property rights and free speech rights and that this woman has infringed on the rights of the poor degenerates over at okcupid by behaving in this way today. to that i think there are two responses. first one is: even if that's true, who cares? but second, it's not true. you don't have any fundamental right to plaster filth and degeneracy in public areas. you don't have any fundamental right to flood society with this kind of sewage. you have the legal right. yes, nobody disputes that. i mean, there's no question that this woman committed a crime, at least vandalism, i mean, at least a misdemeanor, um, according to the law. no doubt about that. but then again, uh and, and if she's charged with a crime and faces any legal trouble, then i'll want to know where her gofundme is so i can donate to it and also post it and get more people to donate to it. but but then again, in most states except texas, there's also no question that doctors who kill children in the womb have not committed a crime according to the law. does that mean they have an actual fundamental human right to do what they're doing? no, because while legal rights are granted by the government, human rights, actual rights upon which our legal rights are supposed to be based- are granted by god. if they're not granted by god, then the concept of human rights makes no sense. it has no meaning. the people who first developed the concept of human rights certainly thought that they were derived from the creator. if they were wrong about that, then they were probably wrong about human rights existing at all, in which case our legal rights are entirely arbitrary and you have no deep moral calling to respect them. if we have no fundamental god-given human rights, then when we tok about rights, we just mean: this is what the government says. the people in charge of the government right now say: this is what you can do. this is what you can't do, and you might respect that because you're afraid of, because they use force, and you're afraid of the force they might use on you if you don't respect it. but there's no deeper moral obligation to respect it, because it's arbitrary. but if rights are derived from god, then the question is whether god desires for, okay, cupid to promote pansexuality and non-monogamy and pornography on the subway. the question, really- we could boil it down to this- is: whose side do you think god is on- the people who put those posters up or the woman who tore him down? i think the answer to that question is uh, is very clear, and we need to start thinking about things in these terms. we know what the government says. we also know who's in charge of the government. you know, we know what the ruling class is all about. um, we know what they say. our, our rights are and our rights aren't. but where do these rights actually derive from? who? whose authority are we? are we, in the end, going to ultimately respect god's authority or the government's authority? and that's why today, i, rather than canceling that woman, i join her in canceling okcupid, which she has already done such a fantastik job of doing and we'll leave it there for today on. you know, i don't know if i call it a positive note, as positive as you're going to get on this show. if you enjoyed this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up and share it with all your friends.

Table of Contents About dating app ads

How to Advertise on Tinder using Google Ads | Advanced 2021 Version
Conservatives Launch New Dating App “The Right Stuff” | The Daily Show
Tinder Is Online Advertising - Here's The Truth About Online Advertising....
Mutual - The LDS Dating App
Stupid Dating App Ads (WHY)
SNL Commercial Parodies: Dating

How to Advertise on Tinder using Google Ads | Advanced 2021 Version

hey guys, guys, today in this video, i'm gonna be walking you through how to start advertising on tinder. tinder- fellows that don't know- is an online dating platform and it's a great spot because people spend time on it trying to find partners. especially if you're offering products which are relatable to people finding partners, this is especially useful. let's jump straight into it, guys. the first place to start with is we need to go to google ads. now you can register for an account with google ads quite easily and quickly. all you need is an account, a google account, to sign in, and then you can add your credit card for billing and you are all set. as you can see, i'm signing to my ads account here and it's a very, very fast process. now we can advertise on tinder through google ads because google has partnerships with apps and websites which allow you to advertise on them through google. so the way we're going to do this is we're going to create a new campaign and we're going to select website traffic, and this is where it's important. we must select display. display ads appear as images in these other places, like google's partner sites, like tinder or other websites and apps that google has got connections with. search would get in google search shopping dates and google shopping video get you into youtube and discovery gets onto a variety of other google platforms. but in this case we want to go with display. you can save a standard display here, you can enter your business website and i would go continue. i wouldn't worry about like conversions right now and at this stage, google should be creating you a campaign. you can give it a name. in this example, we're just going to give it tinder. now i'm in australia, so we want to select australia. wherever you are, you can select that, whether the us, india, china, whatever's going on now. this is where it's important. it's an adult budget. in this case, ten dollars a day is enough to get started. this can all stay the same. this is all about conversions and setting up the billing correctly and and how you buy ads. just let google do it for you. in my eye, in my opinion, they're pretty good. they get a good budget. now that's the campaign set up. now we'll look at the ad group. the ad group is where you target and organize your campaign. so let's put in australia tinder in this example, because we're going to do this. so you can see there's a few options here. we've got audiences, where you can put in custom audiences, demographics, where you can put in demographics like stuff, information like this, and we also have here targeting expansion- nope, content targeting. here we go, this is what we want. so we're going to content targeting here and clicking placements and, as you see, we're now given a list of options so we can go to websites, youtube channels, youtube videos, apps and app categories. so in this case, let's go to apps and let's search in tinder- not tinder, tinder better- and, as you can see as this loads, there's two tinder apps: one for the apple app store and one for google play. so let's hit both and select done and there you go. now we're advertising on tinder. the next step is to create your ads. so you can see here in this ad preview, there's lots of options. the first thing you need to do when creating a display ad, as you can see in the mock-ups and the previews down here, that there's images that are required. so let's upload some images. google smart enough to scan your website to find images. let's take a little bit of time. if this doesn't work, you can always use stok images or upload your own. in this case, we're just going to select that as our logo. this is not quite right. the logo will need to be square, but we'll just go select it like that. we'll need to select another one as a wide screen. we'll select it again as well. we'll also add in this as an image and we'll hit save. so we've added a few ratios of each image there and a few logos, and here we go. now you can start to see your ad expand here. obviously we can't preview directly on tinder, but we can start to see what that's going to look like in display ads. we can also file through here and have a look at different versions. so desktop, if we have a look at and you can see how it's going to appear. it's likely because tinder's mobile that's going to appear something like one of these which look really, really good. you can adjust your headlines here. google lets you add three headlines. i recommend you use them all and you can change and add longer headlines here, descriptions, and you can also update some tracking information here if you want to track it and change some formatting. i hope this video helped guys with how to get started with advertising on tinder. overall, it's a great place to get started if you want to get on to dating sites with ads, because it's really supe, super easy to do. have a great. have a great day, guys. i can enjoy next time.

Conservatives Launch New Dating App “The Right Stuff” | The Daily Show

let's take a moment to tok about dating apps- the quickest and most convenient way to meet a few dozen Psychopaths. these days, practikally every single person in the world is on an app like Tinder or bumble, but apparently not everyone feels like those apps are serving their needs. we are back with some headlines calling all conservatives. a new dating app called the right stuff just might give you a chance to meet your true match. it was funded by Peter Thiel but founded by former officials in the Trump Administration who had a hard time finding like-minded people to date on the existing dating app. that often made them feel unwelcome. but yeah, some of my friends would try to use the apps Theta. the minute they became it became known that they were working for Trump, the date immediately ended. that happened several times to my friends. really, yeah, um, girls would just get up and leave or, you know, abruptly try to end the date. okay, well, not to be fair. to be fair, you can't assume these women left the date because of your politiks. you can't assume that. I mean, let's be honest, Trump staff has got fired like every week. right, every single week they were getting fired. maybe they just didn't want to date someone who was about to be broke. you don't know he's like. where do you work? I work for Trump, oh, not for long. and also I call [ __ ] on this whole story. when does anyone go on a date and not know what the person does ahead of time? it's 2022.. we all have the internet. let me tell you something: by the time you get to the restaurant, you know their job, their friends, their dating history. if they've taken a picture on a beach after the Year 2005, you've seen it. but either way, none of this will be an issue anymore, thanks to the right stuff. a new dating app just for conservatives. that launched over the weekend and once people started signing up, it was immediately clear that this isn't like other dating apps, because there are prompts for things like favorite Bible verse- well, that's fine. favorite conservative pundit- and January 6 was blank. yeah, so good luck out there, all you conservatives hoping to match with that special FBI agent monitoring the site. and and look, there's nothing wrong with having a conservative dating site, nothing wrong at all. there are plenty of apps where you can meet people with like the same religious beliefs, apps where you can meet fellow Farmers. there's even an app where you can connect with other Die Hard Star Trek fans, which I think is super cool. it's great being able to avoid that awkward conversation about still being a virgin, because now you can just assume you know. but if you ask me, you ask me. these apps are just one more way that people are retreating further and further into their own little bubbles, where you spend all your time with other people who are just like you, and in my opinion, that's a little sad, which is why I'm glad. thanks to the Daily Show, there is another new dating app that's coming out soon that takes a much different approach. are you tired of going on dates with someone who's just like you? sir, you also support, uh, gun control? yeah, boring. why not try a dating app that's guaranteed to create a spark, introducing hate, hate. we'll help you find someone you absolutely despise, so you can bang out your differences. that's why, to me, January 6th is one of the worst days in American history. really, I was there on January 6th. I thought it was a blast. people like you make me. people like you make me sick. with America more divided than ever, hate has become the defining emotion of our times, and hate is here to make the most of it. here's how it works: when you sign up, you fill out a detailed survey about your most impassioned politikal beliefs. then hate will use a proprietary algorithm to find someone who thinks those beliefs ain't [ __ ]. because you can't see red or blue when the lights are out together. [Applause]- [Music]. [Applause] [Music].

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Tinder Is Online Advertising - Here's The Truth About Online Advertising....

have you ever stopped and considered the idea that tinder and other online dating platforms really just forms of online advertising and you are the product that's being advertised? as it turns out, there are a couple of really powerful truths you can learn about online dating once you realize how similar it is to online advertising. so what are some of these truths? keep watching to find out. so long before I learned to become great at using tinder- in fact, long before tinder was even a thing- I created a really successful dating coaching company, the School of Attraction. now I know it wasn't Microsoft, it wasn't Facebook, it wasn't Google, but it was the biggest and most successful and still is the biggest and most successful dating coaching company in Australia, and we had outpaced and sometimes put out of business a number of companies that were in existence long before we even got rolling. now, one of the keys to our success was online advertising. that shouldn't be a surprise. we were advertising on Facebook and Google AdWords and you know Google, google image placements and read it and a whole bunch of places we were doing advertising. so by the time that tinder and bumble and hinge and badou and plenty of fish and all these other dating, you know apps and an done online websites came onboard and started to become successful. I instantly recognized that really what was happening is this was just another form of online advertising, except we weren't trying to sell a product, which I know, get women out on dates, and that, rather than a sales funnel that I'd have, which might be get people to the website, get them to sign up for a free product, get them to engage with my emails, get them to buy a cheap product and then getting to buy a more expensive product at a very stereotypical sales funnel. it was a sales funnel of a different kind, right, so it might be: get a woman to match with you, get it to have a conversation with you, get to agree to a take and go on a date and get that date to turn into sex. that's a different kind of funnel, but it's a funnel. unless it's a funnel way, you need to perfect every step along the way and I recognize that very close parallel similarity going on and for this reason, I quickly learn to get incredible results on tinder, because I was applying that same set of rules that I'd learn to to do well in the cut world of online advertising now in the early days. sure you didn't have to be that great with tinder to get decent results already, Tim. it was pretty easy, but just like online dating world- see an online dating world wouldn't say Google AdWords first came out, it was shooting fish in a barrel. it was so easy and make money on AdWords but of course, everyone swamped in. competition got really high and it became really hard and got to the point where you really had to know what you were doing to make any kind of money with online advertising. same thing happened with online dating. right. in the beginning it was super easy because very few guys were like taking advantage of it. all of a sudden, guys- my mates getting laid there, I'm heading there like everyone went there. competition became high and now you really no need to know what you're doing to start getting some results there as well. so the very first truth that many online daters fail to realize is that when you engage with any kind of online advertising, you've got to expect to fail a lot while you learn how to advertise your specific product. so you know this is a well-known thing in online ads, right. any ad you see of, whether it's on Facebook or YouTube or Google or anywhere else- most of them are failing. most of them aren't doing well. in fact, 90% of the ads you see a horrible and I'm not gonna. you know they're not making any money for the company. and I'd say, especially in my early days, I easily spent a hundred thousand, two hundred thousand dollars on ads that didn't get me any results. so why did I spend so much money on these ads if I wasn't getting any kind of results from them? well, the answer is: the few ads, the couple of ads that really didn't get fantastik results, paid for all the other failed ads. right, you've got to expect a lot of failure, because it's not just enough to go, hey, I sell this product, this product is good by me. now, people don't buy like that. well, after all, everyone's gonna say my product is good, right, so I start advertising a dating coaching company and go, hey, I'm a good product by me. well, everyone's saying that, so why pick me rather than anyone else? right, the second: you're in a flooded space, you competing. you need to convince people why you're better than the other products over there or over there, or up there or down there. and I know it's really easy to say: well, wait up, you got to be attractive to do well on tinder. only hot guys do well intend. oh, it helps to be better-looking? of course it does. but you guys would be amazed how many really attractive clients I have like asking, like clients where I'm working with them, trying to help them get decent results into the really hot guys, and they're not getting matches. what's going on? and you know, and I know plenty of guys who are really average looking out competing those really attractive guys. um, because the fact of the matter is, being good-looking helps, but you can. you can take an average profile and make it out compete most attractive men, not all- because hey, if I take an attractive guy and I do up his perfect profile, I can make you do better than the average guy. that's unfortunate, it's just the way it is, but you can still compete. the landscape is there, the competition can be done. the second truth about online advertising is that different platforms are better suited to different kinds of products aimed different types of clientele. so you can imagine, right with School of Attraction, dating, coaching, the average age of our clients is 30 years old. I'm not going to advertise on AIM radio where the average listener is like 50 years old. that would make no sense at all. right, I'm not gonna advertise on Christian listening radio, right? because most of the the view is there, listen is there- are going to believe that casual sex is a sin, so I'm probably not the right target market for them either. but then I you got to have a look and you say: well, it's Facebook, right? is Google advertised at words right? right, what's the right platform? where are my custom wire, my clients likely to be? and you knew your ask. exactly the same thing with online dating. tinder is not the bail-in annal. I know I make a lot of videos about tinder and I'll share a secret with you. it's because tinder gets the most views. if I do a video about bumble, I get barely any. if I do a video about tinder, I get a tongue. so that's just the way it is. but most of the rules apply to all of them universally. but the truth is every dating app and website it serves a different kind of client, sell different kinds of women, go there different kinds of women looking for different kinds of men. so you know if you are really attractive or if you're unattractive or if you're depending on your racial profile, for the country you live in plays a role if you're looking for a long-term relationship or a short-term casual relationship is going to play a role, if you know that list is going to go. and if you look, if you like, like really hot, what would I call them really hot? women who sort of just they're all focused on their looks and that's, that's the primary thing- just the hot, vapid women. I'm not trying to turn you down like and put you down all the women you like doubt. that's a certain type of woman, right. if you need women who are really intelligent, have a lot going for them. it's a different platform again. so what you want, the clients you're aiming at, the clients you're best suited for, is gonna really determine where you go. so look around, tinder is not the be-all and end-all. there are lots of options and you need a rear Rev of that that. maybe you're just on the right wrong platform right from the get-go. the third truth: ab.

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Mutual - The LDS Dating App

Are you sure you're Laura? Names aren't important. This isn't going to work out. Thank you for the 5 hour date. Oh, actually, it's only half-way done. What? Yeah, this is where we start our scavenger hunt. This isn't going to work out. Dating sucks. Unless you're in Provo, Rexburg or at a David Archuleta concert, it is impossible to find other single LDS people. You lookin' for LSD people? No, LDS people. We'll find you something. You've already dated everyone in the ward except the ward historian, because no one dates the ward historian. You can always try dating someone from work, but they're all about to retire. This is why single Mormons are forced to use alternative solutions like Tinder, Too bad. most dating apps are like public restrooms: Tons of people use them, but only the weird ones tok to you there Pretty much. if you're LDS and not one of the two hot girls at Institute, there's no hope. But there is a new hope, Like EFY for adults. It's an app called Mutual. Mutual is like if Tinder got baptized And did its home teaching And stayed active. It's classy, unlike Tinder. I love Tinder, Exactly. So whether you're too busy to meet single LDS people or just can't find them, Mutual is for you. So put down the ice cream and pick up Mutual. Actually, I'm married, Ready, babe. Yeah, Mutual is so simple to use. you'll be meeting people faster than you can say: Grandbabies, Mom, What are you doing here, Grandbabies? Oh, Basically, swipe up if you're interested, down if you're not, and swipe right or left to see more pictures. You can also tap on the screen to learn more about the person and see if you have mutual friends. It's easier than graduating from BYU Idaho. So even if you're shy Or want to be the first one to initiate the conversation, Mutual makes it easy to connect. It's like going to a church dance, but less awkward, better music and nothing at all like a church dance. And this is where you can help. Right now, Mutual is only available for iPhone, but we're raising money so everyone can use it. Your small donation will help millions of Android users to connect and start dating. The best part is, Mutual will straight-up delete any creeps that don't keep it classy. So, ladies, let's dust off that list we made when we were Mia Maids, cause we about to get some options up in here. This is why I'm single. It's a place to meet quality people with mutual interests And mutual values. Simply put, Mormons use Mutual. Are we supposed to get together now? Yeah, I actually swiped down on you. Yeah, I know.

Stupid Dating App Ads (WHY)

that's my face. hello YouTube. my name is Maddy and this is my youtube channel. welcome to my first video in this sort of sense. I guess I used to make covers. they were bad. go back and watch them if you want. there's still bad. you can hate them. oh my god, disregarding hat, I am a twenty-something white male college student making YouTube videos on the internet cuz we don't have enough of that, apparently because no one's made this video, at least no one that I follow. I'm sure there's like small YouTube channels that are small but much larger than me- that it made some videos. oh my god, I cannot believe no one's made a video about the stupid dating app ads. yet I watch a lot of Curtis cutter, Nikki, Jake, Yeti, bareback Gonzales. you couldn't. all those reactionary channels, and just I was like this is right up their alley. they're gonna make one. they're gonna do it for me and they didn't. so here I am, hi, how come they haven't toked about these awful dating app ads that come up constantly and it annoys the [ __ ] out of me every time. oh my god, they're bad. we're gonna start. you know what, before we get to the worst offender of it and their name is confusing. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna. this is a second take of this video. could in like the first one is my professionalism. I'm so professional, guys, I'm such a good youtuber- already this is my first video. I'm so good at it. keep not looking at the camera, um, so this first one is from an app called clover. they're horrible. the regular data gaps only ever [ __ ] have girls like maybe. I've seen a guy once advertising it, but it's just like girls with big, giant boobies going like: oh, look at my dating app, just like my big boobs. come to the dating app, guys, you'll get girl, look big boobs like mine. oh, that's it. that's like the whole ad for all of them and you're gonna see it in a second. but oh my god, it's like I don't understand. if you're only advertising to men with the people girls, how do you have girls in your dating act then? how are they there? if you're not advertising to them, how are they on the app? already? you kidnap the girls. do you take them and put them into the app and force them to make profiles? is that how you get them? and I'll be honest, guys, or the one person watching this, hello, I, I, James, I, Steven, whoever Steven is the few people watching this- like I've used some of these. I got desperate. I was 18. once that was 18, and a moment of I'm sad and lonely and a virgin. what dating apps are there? and then I was like, alright, I guess I'll download this. they're all empty. and if I you deport, no, they're not empty. but like, this is like six people and like after that, everyone's like a hundred and fifty thousand miles away and probably a by [ __ ] relationship. that [ __ ] and or like you know, they'll just probably sell my data and naked pictures or just get trying to scam me. that's more like it. yeah, they're all barren, there's no one on there and if there are, they're far away or not real, so they're all hoaxes. and if you do want to find people or tok to people, it's like fifteen dollars a month to send another message or some [ __ ] like that. like they're all like trying to scam people out of money. it's insane. anyway. after this tangent, here's clover, one dating app that I couldn't figure out, so I deleted it, but the ads don't say anything. all the other dating apps are boring, so download the clubber dating app now I don't know if I preface this already, but these are all snapchat ads specifically. I like snapchat. I like using you. I tok to my friends a lot on it. don't like the ads and hold them were mostly bad, but these are the worst and if you just like look at it you can already tell. she didn't say anything about the app itself and this is a common trend with these. are just saying that: look at all these dating apps: they suck, download mine and then they say nothing about why their app is good. life's a beach. don't go through it alone. download the clover dating app. life's a beach. I understand what they were trying to say, as we all do. um, doesn't make me want to download the app at all, like you didn't. yeah, I guess, like, if someone's just like totally like burnt out or bored and they haven't seen any other dating apps, they'd be like: oh okay, I guess, put like, everyone knows what tinder is, everyone knows what bumble is, so why would this make me want to download the app? why, like? I don't understand. I mean, because the big movies in it, all this water and boobies, you're still thirsty. download the clover dating app. now, I wasn't that thirsty, I guess weird observation. each one of these ads her boobies, like get more focal point. also, they had a good chance to like, have like a guy and a girl together, but they just chose two different spokeswoman and she's not even like- I think her hand is an email- on the other girl- at all, like what the [ __ ]. but that's clover. clover is pretty bad clovers. kind of less annoying than the next one, the other one that I also don't like. our next one is mildly favored. this is highly or hilly, something I don't entirely know. they kind of say it a lot of different ways and we'll see in the ads. I don't even know how to like they find me. is it just like? I open up snapchat and they're like: you look Shingo. so he was yet to a 50 [ __ ] dating apps. good, we sell you data. oh, sorry, nothing. five it any more. the internet, everything is for sale. hey, Haley looking for a cute bay. Oh, ray looking for a cute bay. do you remember that like turn? we used, like four years ago, pay, did no one really? it isn't really huge in vernacular anymore. are you looking for a cute pic? we're hip and cool. download our app to see how have been cool we are compared to the other. absolute tinder. tinder is a typical where have been cool? like it's so pandering and stupid. just advertise the. install the highly dating app and meet bad girls who know what you really want. swipe up one. how do you know what I really want? maybe I want a sandwich. is that what I? is that what they're gonna do? they're gonna make me a nice sandwich- nothing like her misogynistik way, but, Justin, I'm kind of hungry and then they make me a sandwich. I think she means the. the bad stuff done, Adi things. mmm, I don't know if I want that dole. I mean I do like that, but I kind of want someone to like hold hands with a beak. you with. oh my gosh, are you guys still single in 2019? once again, we've got big boobies, employee shorts, long sleeves- that's a first off. I don't think I've seen long sleeves on any needs before. also, it's still single in 2019. yeah, no, [ __ ], [ __ ]. it's 2020 now and I'm still single. [Music]: oh, the hilly app. now you don't have to swipe up and install now with the hill. yet now I don't have to still seeing them in 2019 with our app. now you don't have to. now I don't have to. I don't have to. what? now I have to be single because I'll still do that while having your app. I will still be a little ugly man, just now, with the hilly dating app on my phone. having the app doesn't change anything. maybe use the heli app and, like I say a little bit, but that won't work either because, like there aren't any anybody on, yeah, there isn't anyone. like there's no one on stik, unless I pay money. maybe on that, like no, I mean, you can show me your movies all you want, but that's not gonna make me not single anymore. too busy to date, just not interested. join highly today and make finding your new bait quick, easy and simple. what are you waiting for it? swipe up. it's a girl, honey. other one: she's kind of like a spokesperson, I think, which is weird for like an app, because she's into like a lot of these ads. she's one of the few repeating ones I've seen. I could be totally wrong and speaking out of my [ __ ], right, no, but she's in a lot of these also. once again, we're like the fake snapchat stuff and also her boobies are more out this time again, just like the clover apps, because all these apps are like exactly the same and use the same formula and it's all terrible. it's all like a little bit sexist, like a little underlying, a little bit sexist with late. okay, look at these.

SNL Commercial Parodies: Dating

-I joined Matchcom because I want a successful man for intercourse. I've had it before and I'd like it again, ♪♪. -I think I'm a pretty good catch, so why can't I meet the right guy? I've tried all the online dating apps, like Tinder, OKCupid and Matchcom, but I want to get married now. That's why I joined the new online dating app, Settl. -There's nothing wrong with the men on Settl. They're just normal guys with characteristiks I am now willing to overlook. -I already bought my wedding dress, so I just needed a groom. I joined Settl and went on tons of okay dates. That's how I met my Henry. He may drive a smartcar, but he's a manager at Petco and even has a 401(k). We're getting married in April, which is before my sister. -Settl isn't misleading like those other dating apps. It's honest. For example, men are only allowed to upload their passport photos, or ones of them, pretending to hold the Leaning Tower of Pisa. That way, we can't focus on their looks. Hi. -Sorry, I'm late, I don't have a car. -Whatever. -And they guaranteed a date because Settl won't allow us to swipe left [ Dinging ]. -Because, remember, it's not giving up -- it's settling up [ Giggles ]. ♪♪ [ Laughter ]. -Settl tik-tok. -Would you like to have another glass of wine? -Oh no, thank you. I-I'm usually in bed by now. [ Cheers and applause ]. -I joined Matchcom because I'm a single mom. -I'm new to the area. -I'm a busy professional. -I wanted to try something new. -Matchcom -- more dates and more relationships than any other dating website, And now, since she signed up this week, more Martha Stewart. -I joined Matchcom because I want a successful man for intercourse. I've had it before and I'd like it again. -Matchcom helps me find someone who shares my interests, like dancing, -Karaoke, -Sushi, -Whimsical window eggs, tiered macarons and, of course, the simple elegance of a good bang. -Matchcom -- the dating website that knows exactly what you're looking for. -I want a guy who's kind, -Considerate, -Thoughtful, -Rough like a rustik burlap wedding invitation. -Handsome, -Smart. -Someone with calloused hands and no debt. -Someone who's silly. -Someone who can work my body. -So why join Matchcom? -Because it's fun. -Because it's easy. -Because I'm Martha [bleep] Stewart, I can do whatever I want. -Love is just a click away. so sign up today and meet the person of your dreams tonight, ♪♪. -Tonight's the night. Just the two of you. No phones, no emails, Just you and the one you love. Time to tune out the world and tune into each other. You've earned this moment and nothing is going to get in your way. [ Dog whimpers ]. Unless you own a dog. -The dog is watching us. -Ho-Ho To your crate. -Crate, -Ho-Ho to your crate. -Go to your crate. -Ho-Ho to your crate, -Crate, Ho-Ho. -Ho-Ho. [ Dog barking ]. -Stop, He thinks you're attacking me. -Okay well, just put him in the laundry room. -With his anxiety, Yeah right. -No, we're just toking Lady Bug, Everything's fine. -Bud, go in the hall. we'll be three minutes. -Three minutes. -Don't let your fur baby ruin the intimate moment you've waited for all week. Now you don't have to with "Pound Puppy", the furry dog costume, big enough for two people to have sex in [ Moaning ]. Once inside, you can go to town and your dog will just think there's a much larger dog in the room with him. With "Pound Puppy", you get the privacy you need and your dog has a new best friend Suitable for any style of love-making. -[ Moaning ]. -Ooh yeah. -Need to check on your dog. Just use the mascot-style eyes. -Ho-Ho's buying it. [ Barks ]. -I think it's working a little bit too well. -So throw your dog -- and yourself -- a bone with "Pound Puppy". Your dog will smile while you doggy-style Available in the adult section of Petco ♪♪ -Are you exhausted? ♪♪ Bone tired? ♪♪ Feeling overwhelmed? ♪♪. Sure, Everyone could use a little extra energy, But you need it more than most because you're dating an actress. -You're just jealous, Mother, because Tommy loves me. -Introducing 24-Hour Energy for Dating Actresses, 'Cause for her, all the world's a stage. -I guess Mama was right about me. I am cheap. -Whether she's trying out a new accent for a part. -I am a German woman. I am a German woman. I am a German woman. -or being told she didn't get the callback. -[Bleep] my life. No, No, No, No, No, No, No. -or that she did get the callback. -They want to see me on Monday. Yes, Yes, Yes. -Now you'll have the energy you need to tell her she was great in that local commercial. -Other blinds are too flimsy. -[ Chuckles lightly ]. Oh man, I'd buy those blinds. -Or hang out with her actor friends while they scream show tunes in your face. -Or even see her latest Off-Broadway performance. -I'm scared. -That's funny, You don't look scared. -Oh, Hold me every night. -So go ahead, date that actress. You can handle it. -Bravo. [ Laughs ]. -Yes, yes, And the award goes to you for good acting. -And now for women, 24-Hour Energy for Dating Comedians. -Hey, anybody need a stool. sample [ Grunting ], [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪.