#1 TikTok Ads Spy Tool

A Better Way to Make TikTok Ads Dropshipping & TikTok For Business

  • Find TikTok winning products & TikTok dropshipping ads.
  • Analyze TikTok advertisers
  • Get the Latest TikTok Shop Data.
Try It Free

How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James

Published on: December 2 2022 by Tatiana James

How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James

How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James

startTime durationTime text
00:00:00 00:00:06 your personal growth is so important not
00:00:03 00:00:08 just for yourself but with whomever you
00:00:06 00:00:11 spend time with with all the people that
00:00:08 00:00:12 are a part of your life especially the
00:00:11 00:00:15 person that you spend your life with
00:00:12 00:00:18 because when you grow and you bring
00:00:15 00:00:20 awareness to your life and to what you
00:00:18 00:00:23 do every single day when you're able to
00:00:20 00:00:25 separate yourself from your actions and
00:00:23 00:00:27 from your thoughts and you can grow in
00:00:25 00:00:29 Consciousness you're going to be able to
00:00:27 00:00:31 bring that into your relationship we're
00:00:29 00:00:34 a partnership and that means that our
00:00:31 00:00:36 goal is love our goal is to be in love
00:00:34 00:00:39 is to bring joy to each other's lives is
00:00:36 00:00:41 to help meet each other's needs if we're
00:00:39 00:00:43 fighting well wouldn't that mean that
00:00:41 00:00:45 we're enemies if we're fighting would
00:00:43 00:00:46 that mean we're not on the same team all
00:00:45 00:00:49 ego is going to do is create separation
00:00:46 00:00:51 it's going to create Division and when
00:00:49 00:00:53 you get rid of that and you dissolve the
00:00:51 00:00:55 ego then you go back to love and you
00:00:53 00:00:59 really focus on what's most important
00:00:55 00:00:59 which is the unity of a relationship
00:01:01 00:01:06 hey everyone it's Stefan and Tatiana and
00:01:04 00:01:09 today we are here to answer your
00:01:06 00:01:10 relationship questions we've asked our
00:01:09 00:01:12 YouTube subscribers our Instagram
00:01:10 00:01:14 followers what are your most important
00:01:12 00:01:15 relationship questions and so we're
00:01:14 00:01:17 going to be answering some general
00:01:15 00:01:19 questions about relationships and some
00:01:17 00:01:21 personal ones as well just pulling from
00:01:19 00:01:23 our experience of being together over
00:01:21 00:01:25 the last seven years yeah and most of
00:01:23 00:01:26 you guys might know that we recently got
00:01:25 00:01:29 married and we just published on our
00:01:26 00:01:31 YouTube channels our wedding videos so
00:01:29 00:01:33 if you guys want to celebrate that day
00:01:31 00:01:34 with us and watch all the highlights
00:01:33 00:01:36 from it you guys can watch it on the
00:01:34 00:01:38 Tatiana James YouTube channel or on the
00:01:36 00:01:40 project life Mastery YouTube channel and
00:01:38 00:01:42 we'll throw links below for you guys for
00:01:40 00:01:44 that but we're excited to dive in and
00:01:42 00:01:45 see how we can support you guys and
00:01:44 00:01:48 share with you guys what we've learned
00:01:45 00:01:50 of our relationship uh now over the last
00:01:48 00:01:53 seven plus years okay so question number
00:01:50 00:01:55 one how to stay in love in a long-term
00:01:53 00:01:57 relationship and keep things exciting
00:01:55 00:01:59 it's a great question because that's a
00:01:57 00:02:01 constant focus in a relationship the
00:01:59 00:02:03 relationship just like any other aspect
00:02:01 00:02:05 of your life is something that you have
00:02:03 00:02:07 to constantly focus on you have to
00:02:05 00:02:09 constantly grow if you're not growing
00:02:07 00:02:10 then you're dying and that same goes for
00:02:09 00:02:11 your body the same goes for your
00:02:10 00:02:13 finances your business and of course
00:02:11 00:02:16 your relationship so one thing that's
00:02:13 00:02:18 helped us a lot is a framework that
00:02:16 00:02:19 we've learned very early on in a
00:02:18 00:02:21 relationship and started applying it
00:02:19 00:02:24 it's called the six human needs by Tony
00:02:21 00:02:27 Robbins and essentially the idea behind
00:02:24 00:02:29 it is that if you're focused on
00:02:27 00:02:31 fulfilling and meeting your partner's
00:02:29 00:02:33 needs at a high level then you're going
00:02:31 00:02:35 to have an incredible relationship an
00:02:33 00:02:37 amazing passionate love affair that's
00:02:35 00:02:40 always growing that there's intimacy
00:02:37 00:02:42 there's love and passion and oftentimes
00:02:40 00:02:44 the struggles that people have in the
00:02:42 00:02:46 relationship the lack of passion the
00:02:44 00:02:49 lack of love and connection and intimacy
00:02:46 00:02:51 is because there's certain needs that
00:02:49 00:02:53 are not being fulfilled and so what we
00:02:51 00:02:56 love about this model it's a very easy
00:02:53 00:02:57 way to measure where you're at in a
00:02:56 00:02:59 relationship which needs are being
00:02:57 00:03:02 fulfilled at a high level in which knee
00:02:59 00:03:04 are not being fulfilled and we have a
00:03:02 00:03:06 relationship ritual that we do every
00:03:04 00:03:08 week or so where we check in on a
00:03:06 00:03:10 relationship just like you check in on
00:03:08 00:03:11 the progress you're making in your
00:03:10 00:03:14 physical body or your finances your
00:03:11 00:03:15 business we measure things in a
00:03:14 00:03:17 relationship as well because you can't
00:03:15 00:03:19 manage something if you don't measure it
00:03:17 00:03:20 and so the six human needs I'll share
00:03:19 00:03:22 with you real quick
00:03:20 00:03:24 number one we all have a need for
00:03:22 00:03:26 certainty and this is not just in
00:03:24 00:03:27 relationships this is just in general in
00:03:26 00:03:29 life but it applies to a relationship as
00:03:27 00:03:31 well so we have a need to feel certain
00:03:29 00:03:34 you have a need to feel secure and safe
00:03:31 00:03:37 and comfortable in relationship we also
00:03:34 00:03:40 have a need for uncertainty variety
00:03:37 00:03:42 excitement surprise you know that's a
00:03:40 00:03:44 spice of life so we need there's a
00:03:42 00:03:46 paradox there we need certainty but also
00:03:44 00:03:47 uncertainty because if you are always
00:03:46 00:03:49 certain about something in a
00:03:47 00:03:51 relationship which a lot of people are
00:03:49 00:03:53 they get very comfortable and complacent
00:03:51 00:03:54 then you get bored you don't have that
00:03:53 00:03:56 passion you don't have that aliveness
00:03:54 00:03:58 and so that comes from the uncertainty
00:03:56 00:04:00 and the variety that you have and that's
00:03:58 00:04:02 a very important need we also have a
00:04:00 00:04:04 need for connection and love a lot of
00:04:02 00:04:06 times people they settle for Connection
00:04:04 00:04:08 in a relationship because Love's too
00:04:06 00:04:09 scary love means you have to fully open
00:04:08 00:04:12 your heart you have to be vulnerable you
00:04:09 00:04:14 can get hurt if you fully open up and
00:04:12 00:04:16 love someone but that's a very important
00:04:14 00:04:19 need we have a need for significance to
00:04:16 00:04:22 feel special to feel unique to feel
00:04:19 00:04:24 important we also have a need for growth
00:04:22 00:04:25 you know if your relationship's not
00:04:24 00:04:27 growing if you're not growing together
00:04:25 00:04:29 then you're dying so you need to grow
00:04:27 00:04:31 together in the relationship and there's
00:04:29 00:04:33 also a need for contribution if you're
00:04:31 00:04:35 not contributing and giving Beyond
00:04:33 00:04:38 yourself then you have an emptiness in
00:04:35 00:04:40 your relationship and so what we do
00:04:38 00:04:43 is we do a check-in in a process where
00:04:40 00:04:44 we're aware of what needs are being met
00:04:43 00:04:46 and which ones aren't and so we'll check
00:04:44 00:04:48 in with each other and say on a scale
00:04:46 00:04:50 from one to ten how much certainty do
00:04:48 00:04:52 you feel in a relationship right now and
00:04:50 00:04:54 Tatiana was shared and maybe let's say
00:04:52 00:04:57 it's at a seven
00:04:54 00:04:59 well if that's the case then I can say
00:04:57 00:05:01 Okay Tatiana how can I get that to a
00:04:59 00:05:03 tent how can we feel more certainty in
00:05:01 00:05:04 the relationship and she might say you
00:05:03 00:05:06 know I you know what one thing that
00:05:04 00:05:07 makes me feel certain is just knowing
00:05:06 00:05:09 that you're going to be there for me no
00:05:07 00:05:12 matter what you know just giving me that
00:05:09 00:05:13 reassurance so that's something that is
00:05:12 00:05:16 important for her for her to feel
00:05:13 00:05:19 certain and my job my role in the
00:05:16 00:05:21 relationship is to fulfill her needs and
00:05:19 00:05:23 that's that's an important role in the
00:05:21 00:05:25 relationship because there's really
00:05:23 00:05:27 three levels of a relationship there's a
00:05:25 00:05:29 relationship where it's all about you
00:05:27 00:05:30 it's like a selfish mode it's me me me
00:05:29 00:05:33 me and if you're not getting what you
00:05:30 00:05:36 want then you have a fit about it that's
00:05:33 00:05:38 the most unconscious relationship the
00:05:36 00:05:39 second level is when you're trading it's
00:05:38 00:05:41 like okay I'll give love to you I'll
00:05:39 00:05:44 meet your needs but you got to meet my
00:05:41 00:05:45 needs it's really just an exchange the
00:05:44 00:05:48 third level and the most important one
00:05:45 00:05:49 is when you're giving and you're loving
00:05:48 00:05:52 your partner where you're trying to meet
00:05:49 00:05:55 their needs even above your own okay
00:05:52 00:05:56 your needs are my needs and by focusing
00:05:55 00:05:59 on giving and contributing Beyond
00:05:56 00:06:01 herself and fulfilling their needs then
00:05:59 00:06:02 they're going to reciprocate that and
00:06:01 00:06:05 your your needs will be met
00:06:02 00:06:06 simultaneously in that process and so
00:06:05 00:06:08 certainty is very important I'll check
00:06:06 00:06:10 in say how much variety how much
00:06:08 00:06:12 excitement and aliveness do you feel in
00:06:10 00:06:14 the relationship and so she might say
00:06:12 00:06:16 you know maybe it's a five well if
00:06:14 00:06:18 that's the case what can we do to create
00:06:16 00:06:20 more excitement more variety and that's
00:06:18 00:06:22 going to create more passion and I think
00:06:20 00:06:24 an important thing that a lot of people
00:06:22 00:06:26 struggle with when they're giving you
00:06:24 00:06:28 know in a relationship is they say I'm
00:06:26 00:06:30 I'm giving I'm giving I'm meeting their
00:06:28 00:06:32 needs but oftentimes it's not really
00:06:30 00:06:35 what the other person needs it's really
00:06:32 00:06:37 they're giving in a way that that of how
00:06:35 00:06:39 they would want to receive and so a big
00:06:37 00:06:41 part of this is understanding that
00:06:39 00:06:43 Tatiana has a different way of feeling
00:06:41 00:06:45 Variety in the relationship than I might
00:06:43 00:06:47 she has a different way of maybe feeling
00:06:45 00:06:48 love you know if I ask you what it you
00:06:47 00:06:51 know what does it take for you to feel
00:06:48 00:06:53 truly in love she might say well you got
00:06:51 00:06:55 to spend quality time with me you know
00:06:53 00:06:57 maybe that's what's important to her so
00:06:55 00:06:59 I'm gonna in a relationship you're like
00:06:57 00:07:01 a detective trying to figure out you
00:06:59 00:07:03 know what is this person's needs how can
00:07:01 00:07:05 I meet and fulfill your needs at the
00:07:03 00:07:06 highest level and if you can do that
00:07:05 00:07:08 you're going to have an incredible
00:07:06 00:07:10 relationship with love and passion and
00:07:08 00:07:12 excitement so that's kind of a formula
00:07:10 00:07:14 or a framework that we follow that I
00:07:12 00:07:15 think can answer that question for you
00:07:14 00:07:17 guys because
00:07:15 00:07:19 um you know everyone has a different
00:07:17 00:07:21 love language a different way of feeling
00:07:19 00:07:23 love and you've got to find ways to meet
00:07:21 00:07:25 that need for your partner as well as
00:07:23 00:07:28 for passion and excitement and the
00:07:25 00:07:31 variety is essentially what that is but
00:07:28 00:07:33 nobody nobody in relationship when their
00:07:31 00:07:34 needs are fully met and they say you
00:07:33 00:07:36 know I feel so certain in my
00:07:34 00:07:38 relationship that this person's the most
00:07:36 00:07:40 important person in my life and they
00:07:38 00:07:42 make me feel so important significance
00:07:40 00:07:44 that there's so much variety and
00:07:42 00:07:46 excitement and surprise and romance you
00:07:44 00:07:48 write variety uncertainty
00:07:46 00:07:49 um you know I feel totally connected to
00:07:48 00:07:53 my partner and you know I know we're
00:07:49 00:07:54 going to be together forever certainty
00:07:53 00:07:56 um you know we're always growing
00:07:54 00:07:59 together gather growth and we're giving
00:07:56 00:08:01 contributing constantly nobody ever says
00:07:59 00:08:03 when all their needs are met I want to
00:08:01 00:08:05 leave this person you know that never
00:08:03 00:08:08 happens because their needs are being
00:08:05 00:08:10 met and they're lit up by that so that's
00:08:08 00:08:11 that's an important process that we can
00:08:10 00:08:14 share with you guys the opposite of that
00:08:11 00:08:15 is when someone is in the position where
00:08:14 00:08:18 they feel that they want to end a
00:08:15 00:08:20 relationship oftentimes it's because
00:08:18 00:08:21 their needs are not getting met so if
00:08:20 00:08:24 you use this scale and you look at okay
00:08:21 00:08:25 how you know what's my level of
00:08:24 00:08:26 certainty Variety in the relationship
00:08:25 00:08:29 and you'll find they're very very low
00:08:26 00:08:31 but if the partner just starts to meet
00:08:29 00:08:34 those needs for you and vice versa you
00:08:31 00:08:37 can reignite that relationship you can
00:08:34 00:08:39 you can renew that relationship just by
00:08:37 00:08:42 by bringing the intention there and as
00:08:39 00:08:44 you can tell this this is something that
00:08:42 00:08:46 requires your conscious attention it
00:08:44 00:08:49 requires you to allocate time every day
00:08:46 00:08:51 every week to your relationship in the
00:08:49 00:08:52 same way that you do for your job in the
00:08:51 00:08:54 same way that you do for your hobbies
00:08:52 00:08:56 whatever it is that you're dedicate
00:08:54 00:08:57 interesting time and scheduling time in
00:08:56 00:08:59 your calendar for you got to do the same
00:08:57 00:09:01 thing with your relationship and I think
00:08:59 00:09:03 that so many people don't do that
00:09:01 00:09:05 because in long-term relationships when
00:09:03 00:09:06 you're first dating of course right it's
00:09:05 00:09:07 like you're going on dates you're
00:09:06 00:09:09 scheduling dates you're creating so much
00:09:07 00:09:11 variety you're doing all these fun
00:09:09 00:09:13 things you're you know dressing up and
00:09:11 00:09:15 you know looking your best all the time
00:09:13 00:09:18 but when you're going to know each
00:09:15 00:09:20 other's needs when you're in a long-term
00:09:18 00:09:21 relationship what happens is you get
00:09:20 00:09:23 complacent because you're like I already
00:09:21 00:09:26 got this person we've been together
00:09:23 00:09:27 forever I'm comfortable with them now I
00:09:26 00:09:29 don't need to dress up I don't need to
00:09:27 00:09:32 wear makeup we don't need to go on dates
00:09:29 00:09:33 you know and and you just you move away
00:09:32 00:09:35 from what you were doing in the
00:09:33 00:09:36 beginning and if you if you do what
00:09:35 00:09:38 you're doing in the beginning there will
00:09:36 00:09:40 never be an end and so we always remind
00:09:38 00:09:43 ourselves of that but as you can tell
00:09:40 00:09:45 like this takes your focus and it's
00:09:43 00:09:48 important like yes it requires some
00:09:45 00:09:50 energy it takes time it takes work being
00:09:48 00:09:53 a detective but is it worth it hell yeah
00:09:50 00:09:54 this is your relationship you know this
00:09:53 00:09:57 is the person you're gonna spend you're
00:09:54 00:09:58 life with potentially and you know if
00:09:57 00:10:01 you're meeting that person's need and
00:09:58 00:10:03 that person is lit up they're happy
00:10:01 00:10:06 they're in love like that's only going
00:10:03 00:10:07 to help you in your life you guys are
00:10:06 00:10:08 you know the energy this person the
00:10:07 00:10:10 state this person is in is going to
00:10:08 00:10:12 affect your state and the energy you're
00:10:10 00:10:15 in is going to affect this person and so
00:10:12 00:10:17 you want to be a supporting partner and
00:10:15 00:10:20 that's what when you know we are in a
00:10:17 00:10:21 partnership you know we we are a unit
00:10:20 00:10:24 and we want to work together to best
00:10:21 00:10:26 support each other on this journey of
00:10:24 00:10:28 you know the next the light next
00:10:26 00:10:30 lifetime that we share together
00:10:28 00:10:31 um so just I want to share with you a
00:10:30 00:10:34 little bit more of the relationship
00:10:31 00:10:36 ritual because he mentioned one part of
00:10:34 00:10:39 a relationship ritual this is actually a
00:10:36 00:10:43 notebook from like 2016 that I made
00:10:39 00:10:44 um just and we do this this check-in
00:10:43 00:10:46 week we actually started this when we
00:10:44 00:10:47 first started dating like literally in
00:10:46 00:10:49 the first few dates because we already
00:10:47 00:10:51 knew very early on in a relationship
00:10:49 00:10:52 that we're going to be committed and be
00:10:51 00:10:54 together for the rest of our lives yeah
00:10:52 00:10:57 so we started doing this back in 24 14
00:10:54 00:10:59 and we would do this once a week and
00:10:57 00:11:00 again schedule this in if you just say
00:10:59 00:11:01 we're going to do it once a week it's
00:11:00 00:11:02 not going to happen trust me there's
00:11:01 00:11:04 going to be something else that gets in
00:11:02 00:11:06 the way you've got to put it in your
00:11:04 00:11:08 calendar and say okay Friday's at 5 PM
00:11:06 00:11:09 we're going to sit down we're going to
00:11:08 00:11:12 give each other the time to do this
00:11:09 00:11:15 phones are off no distractions this is
00:11:12 00:11:16 time for us and this is going to be so
00:11:15 00:11:18 good for your relationship I don't care
00:11:16 00:11:20 how long you've been together or if
00:11:18 00:11:21 you're just dating this is going to be
00:11:20 00:11:24 so good because it gives you an
00:11:21 00:11:26 opportunity to really connect to really
00:11:24 00:11:28 not allow to not allow anything to be
00:11:26 00:11:30 brushed under the rug because you know
00:11:28 00:11:32 what I'm toking about all these little
00:11:30 00:11:33 things that you know trigger you and you
00:11:32 00:11:35 don't say anything and then you just
00:11:33 00:11:37 kind of sweep it under the rug but you
00:11:35 00:11:39 know what they stack over time and then
00:11:37 00:11:41 pretty soon you blow up and you have
00:11:39 00:11:43 this explosive fight that can be
00:11:41 00:11:45 extremely damaging and it doesn't have
00:11:43 00:11:47 to get to that point and we're going to
00:11:45 00:11:48 get to that question in a little bit but
00:11:47 00:11:49 I just want to share with you a little
00:11:48 00:11:51 bit more of a relationship ritual
00:11:49 00:11:54 because I know many of you are curious
00:11:51 00:11:56 about this so we go through the 60 human
00:11:54 00:11:59 needs we answer each of us he asked me I
00:11:56 00:11:59 asked him and just to add to this real
00:11:59 00:12:01 quick
00:11:59 00:12:03 um what also is really valuable about
00:12:01 00:12:06 this is that it ensures that
00:12:03 00:12:09 relationship is always amazing because
00:12:06 00:12:10 oftentimes you know people they let
00:12:09 00:12:12 these things slip and as you mentioned
00:12:10 00:12:14 they kind of Stack over time and they
00:12:12 00:12:16 avoid even discussing and toking about
00:12:14 00:12:18 it because it's so painful they know
00:12:16 00:12:19 that oh my gosh I got to tok about my
00:12:18 00:12:21 relationship and you know they know it's
00:12:19 00:12:22 not going as well as they want they know
00:12:21 00:12:24 that they're not meeting their person
00:12:22 00:12:26 you know the partner's needs they know
00:12:24 00:12:28 they might be in a more selfish mode
00:12:26 00:12:31 um and so you know it's very challenging
00:12:28 00:12:33 at that stage to be honest and confront
00:12:31 00:12:36 those challenges but when you check in
00:12:33 00:12:38 every week like this for us it never
00:12:36 00:12:40 really goes below a seven because if it
00:12:38 00:12:43 does go to a seven or below that we're
00:12:40 00:12:45 really quick to get on top of that to do
00:12:43 00:12:47 something that can allow our
00:12:45 00:12:49 relationship to grow but if you don't do
00:12:47 00:12:51 this and time goes on then that seven
00:12:49 00:12:53 drops to a six and a five and a four and
00:12:51 00:12:55 a three and a two and a one and then
00:12:53 00:12:57 it's a lot more Channel so this ensures
00:12:55 00:12:58 that your there's always like a baseline
00:12:57 00:13:00 in the relationship it never goes below
00:12:58 00:13:03 that because you're having communication
00:13:00 00:13:05 with each other on a continual basis and
00:13:03 00:13:06 you have a system for it just like in
00:13:05 00:13:08 your business you know you have
00:13:06 00:13:10 quarterly meetings or you have a meeting
00:13:08 00:13:12 with your team and you work on the
00:13:10 00:13:14 business not always in the business
00:13:12 00:13:17 right so that's the same thing you've
00:13:14 00:13:18 got to work on the relationship not
00:13:17 00:13:20 always get caught up in it and this
00:13:18 00:13:22 allows you to kind of get an altitude
00:13:20 00:13:24 perspective of it to look at your
00:13:22 00:13:26 relationship from a different level yeah
00:13:24 00:13:28 and also why it's so valuable is that
00:13:26 00:13:30 again you're creating this time where
00:13:28 00:13:32 you're saying this is our relationship
00:13:30 00:13:35 time and it's our time to bring presence
00:13:32 00:13:38 to our relationship and you know you the
00:13:35 00:13:39 feminine needs presence and for all you
00:13:38 00:13:43 men who are watching if you're not
00:13:39 00:13:45 giving your woman presence she is that's
00:13:43 00:13:48 a strong need of the feminine and you
00:13:45 00:13:50 might not she might not be in her
00:13:48 00:13:51 feminine as much around you if you want
00:13:50 00:13:53 her to be more in her feminine you got
00:13:51 00:13:55 to be bring a strong presence you can't
00:13:53 00:13:57 be just distracted with work or doing
00:13:55 00:14:00 other things like you've got to have
00:13:57 00:14:01 time for your relationship but anyways I
00:14:00 00:14:03 want to share with you guys so we ask
00:14:01 00:14:05 each other what can you do better to
00:14:03 00:14:07 meet your partner's needs so we answer
00:14:05 00:14:09 that and we write that down we take
00:14:07 00:14:12 notes and it's good because we can look
00:14:09 00:14:14 back on previous sessions and then we
00:14:12 00:14:18 ask each other the five love languages
00:14:14 00:14:20 so Stefan alluded to this earlier
00:14:18 00:14:22 on the five lovelick which is is a book
00:14:20 00:14:23 by Gary Chapman we highly recommend that
00:14:22 00:14:25 you read it we'll link it in the
00:14:23 00:14:27 description box for you because you have
00:14:25 00:14:29 to understand that the way that you
00:14:27 00:14:32 might receive love the way that you feel
00:14:29 00:14:34 love is different than the way that your
00:14:32 00:14:36 partner feels and receives love and this
00:14:34 00:14:39 is a very very important distinction so
00:14:36 00:14:42 if for me it's like
00:14:39 00:14:44 um you know for me it say it's um you
00:14:42 00:14:46 know quality time and you know I just
00:14:44 00:14:47 for me I just I just need people to
00:14:46 00:14:50 spend time with me I like to hang out
00:14:47 00:14:52 with people and then I'm doing I'm
00:14:50 00:14:54 spending so much time with Stefan and
00:14:52 00:14:56 I'm with him and I'm dedicating him
00:14:54 00:14:59 going on dates with him and then we do
00:14:56 00:15:00 this relationship check-in and I say
00:14:59 00:15:03 well on a scale of one to ten how much
00:15:00 00:15:04 love do you feel and he says five and
00:15:03 00:15:05 I'm saying well what the heck like I'm
00:15:04 00:15:07 spending so much time with you I'm
00:15:05 00:15:09 giving you so much quality time why is
00:15:07 00:15:11 it a five and it's because that's not
00:15:09 00:15:13 the way he receives love it's the way I
00:15:11 00:15:15 do so that's usually the way you receive
00:15:13 00:15:17 love is the way you you usually give it
00:15:15 00:15:19 but it's not always the way that your
00:15:17 00:15:22 partner receives that so for him maybe
00:15:19 00:15:25 it's acts of service it's doing things
00:15:22 00:15:27 for him or helping him out or maybe it's
00:15:25 00:15:29 gifts it's buying him gifts and
00:15:27 00:15:31 showering him with gifts you know
00:15:29 00:15:33 everyone has a different one and so I'm
00:15:31 00:15:35 going to share those with you
00:15:33 00:15:38 um over here
00:15:35 00:15:41 so okay so one of them is words of
00:15:38 00:15:43 affirmation so um you know whether it's
00:15:41 00:15:46 compliments or praise the masculine
00:15:43 00:15:48 loves praise just rewarding them
00:15:46 00:15:51 gratitude oh thank you so much for doing
00:15:48 00:15:52 this oh you did such a great job
00:15:51 00:15:55 um you know like that's always a good
00:15:52 00:15:58 one the feminine likes um you know also
00:15:55 00:16:00 praise and compliments physical touch so
00:15:58 00:16:03 whether it's a hug whether it's just
00:16:00 00:16:07 like a kiss on the forehead or a squeeze
00:16:03 00:16:10 on the back or a massage or intimacy
00:16:07 00:16:11 that's another one quality time we've
00:16:10 00:16:15 alluded to that that's very obvious what
00:16:11 00:16:18 that is acts of service so you know
00:16:15 00:16:21 maybe it's helping someone out in their
00:16:18 00:16:23 business or it's cleaning the kitchen or
00:16:21 00:16:26 it's doing someone a favor running an
00:16:23 00:16:29 errand that type of thing cooking a meal
00:16:26 00:16:31 um you know yeah cooking yeah gifts
00:16:29 00:16:34 exchanging gifts gifts doesn't have to
00:16:31 00:16:36 be expensive it can be as small as just
00:16:34 00:16:38 a note a little note left on the table
00:16:36 00:16:40 just I love you thinking of you or maybe
00:16:38 00:16:43 it's just a rose that you come home with
00:16:40 00:16:45 or or it could be you know a diamond
00:16:43 00:16:48 necklace who knows whatever so these are
00:16:45 00:16:51 the different ways that people tend to
00:16:48 00:16:54 receive and give love and so then you
00:16:51 00:16:55 identify what is your partner's love
00:16:54 00:16:56 language and that's something that you
00:16:55 00:16:58 can sit down and you can discuss
00:16:56 00:17:00 together you can you can figure out what
00:16:58 00:17:02 that is for yourself and then share it
00:17:00 00:17:03 with your partner and then it's
00:17:02 00:17:06 important for your partner to understand
00:17:03 00:17:09 that because then they can actually
00:17:06 00:17:13 proactively try and meet that love
00:17:09 00:17:14 language so this is how you really make
00:17:13 00:17:16 sure that your your partner is receiving
00:17:14 00:17:19 love in a way that they understand it
00:17:16 00:17:21 and the ultimate is when you make it a
00:17:19 00:17:23 game you make it a competition like I'm
00:17:21 00:17:25 trying to beat her at meeting her needs
00:17:23 00:17:27 giving more I want to give more to her
00:17:25 00:17:28 than she's given to me right and she's
00:17:27 00:17:30 trying to give more to me than I'm
00:17:28 00:17:32 giving to her and so it becomes this fun
00:17:30 00:17:34 game and dynamic where it's like who can
00:17:32 00:17:35 give to the other person more who can
00:17:34 00:17:37 you know meet the other person's need
00:17:35 00:17:39 more more than anyone else and that's
00:17:37 00:17:41 when it becomes an incredible legendary
00:17:39 00:17:44 relationship is when you both have that
00:17:41 00:17:45 mindset and that mentality
00:17:44 00:17:46 um that's that's when you're going to
00:17:45 00:17:48 create a truly passionate love affair
00:17:46 00:17:50 absolutely and so then we always ask
00:17:48 00:17:52 each other how can you how can your
00:17:50 00:17:54 partner better meet your love language
00:17:52 00:17:55 so and then we also do these
00:17:54 00:17:57 relationship questions and we don't do
00:17:55 00:17:59 this every time it depends on how much
00:17:57 00:18:01 time we want to dedicate to this process
00:17:59 00:18:02 but we'll ask things like what's great
00:18:01 00:18:04 about our relationship what do you love
00:18:02 00:18:07 about it what do you appreciate about
00:18:04 00:18:09 your partner it's a great opportunity to
00:18:07 00:18:12 give you know to meet their needs give
00:18:09 00:18:13 them those words of affirmation what do
00:18:12 00:18:15 you love about your partner how can you
00:18:13 00:18:17 give more to your partner why is it
00:18:15 00:18:19 important to give how can you create
00:18:17 00:18:20 more love in your relationship how can
00:18:19 00:18:22 you create more passion in your
00:18:20 00:18:25 relationship those are two different
00:18:22 00:18:27 things and so we go on and on and then
00:18:25 00:18:30 we also share our magic moments so it's
00:18:27 00:18:32 a time to reflect on the week the things
00:18:30 00:18:34 that we did together that were fun and
00:18:32 00:18:36 we can just write them down and journal
00:18:34 00:18:40 about them and kind of really live them
00:18:36 00:18:41 and and it's it's a fun process and what
00:18:40 00:18:44 we're essentially doing is that you're
00:18:41 00:18:47 directing your focus on all the good all
00:18:44 00:18:48 the positivity all the amazement that
00:18:47 00:18:51 exists in your relationship because
00:18:48 00:18:52 oftentimes people they have a habit of
00:18:51 00:18:54 focusing on what's wrong and what's
00:18:52 00:18:56 missing and if you focus on that then
00:18:54 00:18:58 you get more of that it becomes a
00:18:56 00:19:00 self-fulfilling prophecy and so taking
00:18:58 00:19:02 the time to have gratitude for one
00:19:00 00:19:04 another and asking these questions we
00:19:02 00:19:06 really think and and you really become
00:19:04 00:19:08 aware of yeah you know what I you know I
00:19:06 00:19:10 love this about a relationship or I love
00:19:08 00:19:11 this about you or you know this is what
00:19:10 00:19:13 I can do better in the relationship
00:19:11 00:19:15 because a big part of this too as you
00:19:13 00:19:18 can probably tell is each of us taking
00:19:15 00:19:21 responsibility for how we're showing up
00:19:18 00:19:22 right so I'm taking responsibility if
00:19:21 00:19:24 her needs are not being met I take
00:19:22 00:19:26 responsibility for that because that's
00:19:24 00:19:28 what I can control you know I can
00:19:26 00:19:31 control what I can do and how I show up
00:19:28 00:19:33 and what I can give and that's not this
00:19:31 00:19:35 mode of blaming the other person and
00:19:33 00:19:36 critikizing them they're not doing this
00:19:35 00:19:37 they're not doing that instead of
00:19:36 00:19:39 pointing the finger whenever you point
00:19:37 00:19:41 the finger at someone always realize you
00:19:39 00:19:43 got three fingers pointing back at you
00:19:41 00:19:45 right so you got to look at yourself
00:19:43 00:19:47 first and what am I not doing what am I
00:19:45 00:19:49 not giving and take responsibility for
00:19:47 00:19:51 your relationship and all it takes is
00:19:49 00:19:54 one person to step up and decide to be
00:19:51 00:19:55 the leader right and sometimes people
00:19:54 00:19:57 don't want to do that because they're
00:19:55 00:19:59 like well you know they should be doing
00:19:57 00:20:01 this or they're the one that should be
00:19:59 00:20:03 you know taking charge right now or they
00:20:01 00:20:06 should be admitting that they're wrong
00:20:03 00:20:07 and I was right all that is is ego and
00:20:06 00:20:09 all ego is going to do is create
00:20:07 00:20:11 separation it's going to create Division
00:20:09 00:20:13 and when you get rid of that and you
00:20:11 00:20:16 dissolve the ego then you go back to
00:20:13 00:20:18 love and you really focus on what's most
00:20:16 00:20:20 important which is the unity of a
00:20:18 00:20:23 relationship yeah and you put aside all
00:20:20 00:20:25 the other that you know is all
00:20:23 00:20:27 just your ego it's all just fear and you
00:20:25 00:20:28 just go back to loving this person
00:20:27 00:20:31 because that's the most important thing
00:20:28 00:20:32 and by both of you getting beyond that
00:20:31 00:20:35 and letting go whatever that is and
00:20:32 00:20:37 focusing on the bigger picture that's
00:20:35 00:20:39 what can allow something to grow to
00:20:37 00:20:41 something truly magical exactly now the
00:20:39 00:20:45 last thing I'll say before we jump to
00:20:41 00:20:45 the next question is that
00:20:45 00:20:49 you should be meeting your needs you
00:20:47 00:20:51 know I'm not waiting for someone to come
00:20:49 00:20:53 and meet my needs I'm meeting my own
00:20:51 00:20:56 needs I'm also meeting my own love
00:20:53 00:20:57 language but in a relationship this is
00:20:56 00:20:59 where it's a partnership this is where
00:20:57 00:21:01 it's like I want to meet his needs he
00:20:59 00:21:03 wants to meet my needs but on a personal
00:21:01 00:21:06 level I'm also meeting my needs every
00:21:03 00:21:07 single day and I think it's important to
00:21:06 00:21:09 give that to yourself because you got to
00:21:07 00:21:10 fill your cup up you're not waiting
00:21:09 00:21:12 you're not thirsty for someone else to
00:21:10 00:21:14 fill yours yeah so we actually each have
00:21:12 00:21:16 our you know our loan time you know our
00:21:14 00:21:18 time for each of our morning rituals
00:21:16 00:21:21 that you know Tatiana does certain
00:21:18 00:21:23 things for herself to be at her best uh
00:21:21 00:21:25 her best state and for me I do things
00:21:23 00:21:26 for myself so I can be at my best and
00:21:25 00:21:28 then when we come together
00:21:26 00:21:30 now we are both in a position where we
00:21:28 00:21:32 have something to give because we filled
00:21:30 00:21:34 each other up first
00:21:32 00:21:36 we filled ourselves up yeah
00:21:34 00:21:38 okay question number two
00:21:36 00:21:38 How can I
00:21:39 00:21:41 find it's a great question
00:21:40 00:21:43 um
00:21:41 00:21:46 you know I'll share with you guys a
00:21:43 00:21:48 process that I did to attract Tatiana
00:21:46 00:21:51 um some of you guys may or may not know
00:21:48 00:21:54 but I originally started my career
00:21:51 00:21:55 um in my early 20s as a dating coach I
00:21:54 00:21:57 helped other men improve their
00:21:55 00:21:59 confidence or social skills to meet and
00:21:57 00:22:01 attract women and I started with that
00:21:59 00:22:02 because that was the biggest struggle in
00:22:01 00:22:05 my life when I was in high school I was
00:22:02 00:22:06 shy never had a girlfriend you know when
00:22:05 00:22:07 you're that young that's really what you
00:22:06 00:22:10 care about how can I get a girlfriend
00:22:07 00:22:11 how can it be popular so that was a huge
00:22:10 00:22:14 pain point for me and I really focused
00:22:11 00:22:15 on learning about relationships and
00:22:14 00:22:17 learning about what I can do to improve
00:22:15 00:22:19 myself to become more attractive to
00:22:17 00:22:20 attract what I wanted and how to have
00:22:19 00:22:23 the confidence to go and meet and
00:22:20 00:22:25 approach you know a woman that I found
00:22:23 00:22:28 attractive so that's been a huge focus
00:22:25 00:22:30 of myself and my life and the formula
00:22:28 00:22:32 that I learned it's very similar to
00:22:30 00:22:34 attracting anything in your life The Law
00:22:32 00:22:37 of Attraction the first step number one
00:22:34 00:22:39 is getting Clarity on what you want okay
00:22:37 00:22:41 what do you want in a partner what do
00:22:39 00:22:43 you want in a relationship if you don't
00:22:41 00:22:45 know what you want then how do you even
00:22:43 00:22:47 know if it passes You by so Clarity is
00:22:45 00:22:48 the first thing you got to be specific
00:22:47 00:22:51 about what you want it's no different
00:22:48 00:22:52 than you know if you want to make you
00:22:51 00:22:53 know a certain amount of money if you
00:22:52 00:22:55 want to build a business if you want to
00:22:53 00:22:56 achieve a certain health and fitness
00:22:55 00:22:57 goal you got to know what you want if
00:22:56 00:23:00 you don't know what you want there's no
00:22:57 00:23:01 target there's no destination that
00:23:00 00:23:03 you're after it's like you get in your
00:23:01 00:23:04 car and you're driving around not even
00:23:03 00:23:06 knowing where you're going so you got to
00:23:04 00:23:08 know what you want what that direction
00:23:06 00:23:10 what that partner in the relationship is
00:23:08 00:23:13 that you want to attract and so I
00:23:10 00:23:15 remember for me I took out a journal and
00:23:13 00:23:16 I actually did an Instagram post I
00:23:15 00:23:18 shared this at a wedding and whatnot
00:23:16 00:23:20 maybe I'll share it in another video uh
00:23:18 00:23:23 the the journal that I I did but I got
00:23:20 00:23:25 Clarity and wrote out what do I want and
00:23:23 00:23:28 I was so detailed so specific about
00:23:25 00:23:30 everything physical appearance uh
00:23:28 00:23:32 character traits uh you know certain
00:23:30 00:23:35 personality traits and you know certain
00:23:32 00:23:38 interests and hobbies all of that stuff
00:23:35 00:23:40 and then um out of that list you know I
00:23:38 00:23:41 realized okay well I'm being a little
00:23:40 00:23:43 bit picky here I don't need to have
00:23:41 00:23:45 everything on this list but really what
00:23:43 00:23:47 I did was I identify what are the most
00:23:45 00:23:49 important things what are the things
00:23:47 00:23:50 that are non-negotiable okay so there
00:23:49 00:23:52 are there certain qualities here you
00:23:50 00:23:54 know I need someone who's going to be
00:23:52 00:23:56 honest or I need someone that has a kind
00:23:54 00:23:58 heart you know or I want someone you
00:23:56 00:24:01 know who has this or that those are
00:23:58 00:24:02 things that are non-negotiable and so I
00:24:01 00:24:03 made that list and then I also
00:24:02 00:24:04 identified what kind of relationship you
00:24:03 00:24:07 know what are the things we do together
00:24:04 00:24:08 what would we share together where you
00:24:07 00:24:10 know would we travel together or we'd go
00:24:08 00:24:12 to the gym together we're both into this
00:24:10 00:24:14 we're both into that so I got I wrote
00:24:12 00:24:16 pages and pages and pages of this and
00:24:14 00:24:18 then the second step once you get
00:24:16 00:24:20 clarity on what you want is you ask
00:24:18 00:24:23 yourself the question who do I need to
00:24:20 00:24:24 become in order to attract this into my
00:24:23 00:24:26 life
00:24:24 00:24:28 because you've got to focus and realize
00:24:26 00:24:30 that you attract what you are that if
00:24:28 00:24:32 you want someone who's healthy and fit
00:24:30 00:24:34 well guess what someone who's healthy
00:24:32 00:24:36 and fit are they gonna want to be with
00:24:34 00:24:37 the slob of course not they're going to
00:24:36 00:24:39 want to be with someone who's healthy
00:24:37 00:24:41 and fit so you've got to look at
00:24:39 00:24:42 yourself and say okay well maybe that's
00:24:41 00:24:44 something I need to improve and work on
00:24:42 00:24:46 and master in my life you know if I want
00:24:44 00:24:48 someone who's you know a Kind and
00:24:46 00:24:49 Generous person then I need to be a kind
00:24:48 00:24:53 of generous person I need to focus on
00:24:49 00:24:55 that if I want someone you know who is
00:24:53 00:24:58 uh you know intelligent then I gotta
00:24:55 00:25:00 work on that so I made the list of who I
00:24:58 00:25:02 needed to become who is the best
00:25:00 00:25:05 possible version of myself that this
00:25:02 00:25:08 person would be attracted to me drawn to
00:25:05 00:25:10 me and so that's really where I put a
00:25:08 00:25:13 lot of my focus and I consistently focus
00:25:10 00:25:15 on a regular basis what I wanted I
00:25:13 00:25:16 continue to focus on and read my journal
00:25:15 00:25:19 and then focus on who do I need to
00:25:16 00:25:21 become and then I created a plan for
00:25:19 00:25:23 becoming that and I believe that when
00:25:21 00:25:25 you're living your life from a place of
00:25:23 00:25:27 abundance you're living your life
00:25:25 00:25:29 because you're not just trying to get
00:25:27 00:25:30 someone because you're needy and you
00:25:29 00:25:32 know they're going to fill you up
00:25:30 00:25:35 oftentimes that's when you repel people
00:25:32 00:25:37 but when you're abundance and your flow
00:25:35 00:25:39 of overflowing in your life with
00:25:37 00:25:41 happiness and joy you feel alive and you
00:25:39 00:25:43 feel content and satisfied with who you
00:25:41 00:25:45 are regardless of whether someone else
00:25:43 00:25:47 is in your life you don't need them to
00:25:45 00:25:50 come and complete you now you're more
00:25:47 00:25:52 attractive to people people are going to
00:25:50 00:25:54 be more drawn to you because you're not
00:25:52 00:25:57 coming from a place of of neediness and
00:25:54 00:26:00 expectation that this person has to you
00:25:57 00:26:03 know fulfill you so so that's kind of
00:26:00 00:26:06 the place that um allowed me to attract
00:26:03 00:26:08 Tatiana who by the way you know crazy
00:26:06 00:26:11 story which I shared at the wedding how
00:26:08 00:26:13 when I had done that literally a week
00:26:11 00:26:15 later I attracted her and I went through
00:26:13 00:26:18 my list it was everything I kid you not
00:26:15 00:26:20 everything that had written down that I
00:26:18 00:26:22 wanted in my relationship and so that's
00:26:20 00:26:24 the power of that guys is get clarity on
00:26:22 00:26:25 what you want focus on yourself and that
00:26:24 00:26:28 also means you have to have
00:26:25 00:26:30 self-awareness and honesty to look at
00:26:28 00:26:31 yourself in the mirror because maybe
00:26:30 00:26:34 there's some ways that you're showing up
00:26:31 00:26:35 in your life that are just not you know
00:26:34 00:26:37 that are just not going to allow you to
00:26:35 00:26:39 attract someone maybe you got to do some
00:26:37 00:26:42 work on yourself maybe you've got you
00:26:39 00:26:45 know some uh ways that you're of being
00:26:42 00:26:47 that you know maybe you're reactive
00:26:45 00:26:49 emotionally maybe you know you have an
00:26:47 00:26:51 anger challenge you know or maybe you
00:26:49 00:26:53 have some childhood trauma that you got
00:26:51 00:26:55 to really resolve maybe you've been hurt
00:26:53 00:26:56 in the past and you're closing off your
00:26:55 00:26:58 heart and you're not allowing yourself
00:26:56 00:26:59 to fully trust and open to someone those
00:26:58 00:27:02 are things that you could have awareness
00:26:59 00:27:03 of and say okay I gotta work on this I
00:27:02 00:27:07 got to work on myself I got to heal
00:27:03 00:27:08 myself and when you do then you're so
00:27:07 00:27:09 much more attractive to everyone else
00:27:08 00:27:12 and then you'll attract that right
00:27:09 00:27:14 person in your life I love that very
00:27:12 00:27:16 well said
00:27:14 00:27:19 so if you don't have what you want in
00:27:16 00:27:22 your life or you don't have the person
00:27:19 00:27:25 that you want in your life then it goes
00:27:22 00:27:27 back to taking responsibility and not
00:27:25 00:27:30 being sour and bitter at the world and
00:27:27 00:27:32 saying there's no more good men well you
00:27:30 00:27:34 know looking at yourself and how can I
00:27:32 00:27:35 improve what is what can I improve to
00:27:34 00:27:37 attract this personage my life and we
00:27:35 00:27:39 keep on saying the word attract because
00:27:37 00:27:42 literally when you become the person
00:27:39 00:27:45 that book is attractive then that person
00:27:42 00:27:48 comes to you I literally showed up
00:27:45 00:27:50 downtown like I I the story is like I
00:27:48 00:27:53 never ever come to his area where he
00:27:50 00:27:56 lives and I just happen to be there and
00:27:53 00:28:00 I was the one who reached out to him I
00:27:56 00:28:03 was the one who contacted him and so he
00:28:00 00:28:05 literally attracted me into his life and
00:28:03 00:28:07 and so yeah there's a lot of
00:28:05 00:28:10 serendipitous things that occurred that
00:28:07 00:28:14 we call these blessings blessings it's
00:28:10 00:28:15 the universe God that guided us and um
00:28:14 00:28:18 you know is having that faith and that
00:28:15 00:28:20 trust as well but it's not just like
00:28:18 00:28:22 this is what I want and I want it right
00:28:20 00:28:22 now
00:28:22 00:28:25 that's why I think
00:28:25 00:28:30 shinhole concept is misconstrued it's
00:28:28 00:28:32 not just like thinking of what you want
00:28:30 00:28:34 or creating a vision board and then
00:28:32 00:28:37 Blanket's gonna happen like you actually
00:28:34 00:28:39 have to now take action right it's like
00:28:37 00:28:40 you actually had to date people right
00:28:39 00:28:42 you actually have to put your get
00:28:40 00:28:44 yourself out there this is another you
00:28:42 00:28:46 know part of finding your soulmate is
00:28:44 00:28:48 you have to get out there if you do all
00:28:46 00:28:50 this stuff that Stefan explained and
00:28:48 00:28:52 shared with you but you stay cooped up
00:28:50 00:28:54 in your apartment and you never leave
00:28:52 00:28:56 well what are the chances are you
00:28:54 00:28:57 actually um you know finding that person
00:28:56 00:28:59 and that person being able to find you
00:28:57 00:29:02 yeah and every experience that you have
00:28:59 00:29:03 dating meeting people is actually part
00:29:02 00:29:05 of your growth and development that
00:29:03 00:29:07 allows you to become that person that
00:29:05 00:29:09 you ultimately want to be to attract
00:29:07 00:29:11 that person that you want you know every
00:29:09 00:29:13 woman that I approached that rejected me
00:29:11 00:29:14 was actually giving me a gift was
00:29:13 00:29:17 actually giving me an opportunity to
00:29:14 00:29:18 work on myself to improve myself to you
00:29:17 00:29:20 know perhaps be indifferent to what
00:29:18 00:29:22 people think about me to be a more
00:29:20 00:29:24 confident man and so I appreciate all
00:29:22 00:29:25 those experiences or every relationship
00:29:24 00:29:28 that I might have had you know there's
00:29:25 00:29:30 things that every person I was with was
00:29:28 00:29:35 a teacher to me in some way you know
00:29:30 00:29:37 they exposed my my insecurities or you
00:29:35 00:29:39 know my emotional reactions or whatever
00:29:37 00:29:41 and I'll you know put a spotlight on
00:29:39 00:29:44 that so that I could work on and improve
00:29:41 00:29:46 that so every experience you have every
00:29:44 00:29:49 person in your life is an opportunity
00:29:46 00:29:50 for you to grow and improve yourself and
00:29:49 00:29:52 that's the beautiful thing and
00:29:50 00:29:53 ultimately the person that you spend
00:29:52 00:29:55 your life with is your ultimate
00:29:53 00:29:57 spiritual teacher because they're going
00:29:55 00:29:59 to help you grow more than anything else
00:29:57 00:30:00 in your life because there's nowhere
00:29:59 00:30:03 else in your life that's going to bring
00:30:00 00:30:04 up your deepest fears of not feeling
00:30:03 00:30:06 like you're enough and not feeling like
00:30:04 00:30:08 you're loved and that's what happens in
00:30:06 00:30:11 a relationship because you're going to
00:30:08 00:30:12 open yourself to this person in ways
00:30:11 00:30:14 that you never will with anyone else and
00:30:12 00:30:17 you're going to be your most vulnerable
00:30:14 00:30:20 and with that it's gonna elicit and
00:30:17 00:30:22 bring about some childhood traumas some
00:30:20 00:30:25 insecurities that that you might have
00:30:22 00:30:27 all of that stuff which is an
00:30:25 00:30:30 opportunity for you to work on yourself
00:30:27 00:30:33 and to grow so growth is such a huge uh
00:30:30 00:30:34 component of this and that's really
00:30:33 00:30:36 what's going to allow you to attract
00:30:34 00:30:38 what you want is continue to grow and
00:30:36 00:30:40 evolve because look if you're not
00:30:38 00:30:41 satisfied with what you're attracting
00:30:40 00:30:43 you're going to look yourself in the
00:30:41 00:30:46 mirror you know because that's kind of
00:30:43 00:30:47 what it's like it's like a mere uh you
00:30:46 00:30:49 know you are attracting someone who's
00:30:47 00:30:52 negative and complains all the time well
00:30:49 00:30:55 do you complain a lot are you negative
00:30:52 00:30:57 you know if um you know because really I
00:30:55 00:30:58 mean someone who's truly happy is not
00:30:57 00:31:00 going to be attracted to someone who's
00:30:58 00:31:02 negative and complaining all the time
00:31:00 00:31:03 right or if you're like attracting all
00:31:02 00:31:06 these men or women that are just always
00:31:03 00:31:08 have so much drama going on well are you
00:31:06 00:31:09 a dramatik person maybe you got to look
00:31:08 00:31:12 at yourself and see what you're putting
00:31:09 00:31:14 out and what you're attracting so we
00:31:12 00:31:15 always just take responsibility and the
00:31:14 00:31:17 reason why responsibility is so
00:31:15 00:31:20 important is because you can do
00:31:17 00:31:22 something about it whenever you don't
00:31:20 00:31:24 take responsibility you blame and you
00:31:22 00:31:26 deflect you have no control but if I
00:31:24 00:31:28 take ownership and responsibility now I
00:31:26 00:31:32 have a power to do something so taking
00:31:28 00:31:33 control of of of the results and
00:31:32 00:31:35 responsibility of what's showing up for
00:31:33 00:31:38 you gives you the power to do something
00:31:35 00:31:39 to make things better because why focus
00:31:38 00:31:41 on what you can't control if you focus
00:31:39 00:31:42 on what you can't control you're going
00:31:41 00:31:45 to go crazy if you focus on what you can
00:31:42 00:31:47 control then it's going to lead to Hope
00:31:45 00:31:48 and possibility yeah sometimes when
00:31:47 00:31:52 people hear us toking about taking
00:31:48 00:31:55 responsibility they feel like sensitive
00:31:52 00:31:57 or triggered by that word like well it's
00:31:55 00:31:59 not my fault but it's actually very
00:31:57 00:32:00 empowering and that's the way we see it
00:31:59 00:32:03 like respect I think in responsibility
00:32:00 00:32:04 is total empowerment because it means
00:32:03 00:32:06 that you can actually create change in
00:32:04 00:32:08 your life it means that you're not the
00:32:06 00:32:09 victim so that's really important too
00:32:08 00:32:10 um okay let's move on to the next see
00:32:09 00:32:12 how many questions we'll get to here
00:32:10 00:32:14 because we're giving you guys very
00:32:12 00:32:16 in-depth answers
00:32:14 00:32:19 um okay how do you both deal with
00:32:16 00:32:23 arguments and fights well you know
00:32:19 00:32:26 Stefan and I first of all we don't let
00:32:23 00:32:27 ourselves get to the point where we're
00:32:26 00:32:30 like spitting in each other's faces
00:32:27 00:32:33 arguing and fighting we both come from
00:32:30 00:32:35 families where there were times when
00:32:33 00:32:37 that was happening our parents would
00:32:35 00:32:39 fight I remember being in between my
00:32:37 00:32:42 parents many times when they're right up
00:32:39 00:32:45 facing like just just so much anger and
00:32:42 00:32:47 I'm like Mom Dad stop and so we both had
00:32:45 00:32:49 that experience in childhood and we we
00:32:47 00:32:51 individually said I never want to have
00:32:49 00:32:53 that in my life I never want to be in a
00:32:51 00:32:55 relationship like that so we because of
00:32:53 00:32:56 our experience growing up we already
00:32:55 00:32:58 knew this is not what we want in our
00:32:56 00:33:00 lives and we will never we'll never
00:32:58 00:33:02 succumb to that standard we'll never
00:33:00 00:33:04 allow our standards to drop where we get
00:33:02 00:33:07 to the point where we are disrespecting
00:33:04 00:33:08 each other and respect is key in a
00:33:07 00:33:11 relationship it's very very important
00:33:08 00:33:13 you have to respect your spouse and we
00:33:11 00:33:15 don't ever let it get to the point where
00:33:13 00:33:16 yes there are times where we disagree
00:33:15 00:33:18 like there are many times we don't agree
00:33:16 00:33:20 on everything there are times where we
00:33:18 00:33:22 get annoyed with each other or triggered
00:33:20 00:33:23 by each other but we never let it get to
00:33:22 00:33:25 the point where we are going to
00:33:23 00:33:26 disrespect each other where we're going
00:33:25 00:33:28 to swear at each other where we're going
00:33:26 00:33:30 to be abusive with each other it's just
00:33:28 00:33:32 it it that's not a healthy relationship
00:33:30 00:33:35 and we'll never lower ourselves to that
00:33:32 00:33:38 point and so for us
00:33:35 00:33:42 um you know yes we do get into certain
00:33:38 00:33:44 disagreements but what we do is we all
00:33:42 00:33:47 we are each individually on our own
00:33:44 00:33:51 personal journeys of growth and your
00:33:47 00:33:54 your personal growth is so important not
00:33:51 00:33:56 just for yourself but with whomever you
00:33:54 00:33:58 spend time with with all the people that
00:33:56 00:34:00 are a part of your life especially the
00:33:58 00:34:03 person that you spend your life with
00:34:00 00:34:06 because when you grow and you bring
00:34:03 00:34:08 awareness to your life into what you do
00:34:06 00:34:10 every single day when you're able to
00:34:08 00:34:12 separate yourself from your actions and
00:34:10 00:34:14 from your thoughts and you can grow in
00:34:12 00:34:17 Consciousness you're going to be able to
00:34:14 00:34:18 bring that into your relationship and so
00:34:17 00:34:22 we try to take the most conscious
00:34:18 00:34:25 approach and sometimes one of us is at a
00:34:22 00:34:27 low level Consciousness and whoever is
00:34:25 00:34:29 at the highest level of Consciousness is
00:34:27 00:34:32 the one who just is sane it's the one
00:34:29 00:34:35 who says you know what okay let's agree
00:34:32 00:34:37 to disagree it's fine I love you let's
00:34:35 00:34:39 just choose love because ultimately what
00:34:37 00:34:41 is the goal here you know ultimately in
00:34:39 00:34:43 a relationship again you are a
00:34:41 00:34:46 partnership we're a partnership and that
00:34:43 00:34:48 means that our goal is love our goal is
00:34:46 00:34:50 to be in love is to bring joy to each
00:34:48 00:34:53 other's lives is to help meet each
00:34:50 00:34:55 other's needs if we're fighting well
00:34:53 00:34:56 wouldn't that mean that we're enemies if
00:34:55 00:34:59 we're fighting would that mean we're not
00:34:56 00:35:01 on the same team so we want to be on the
00:34:59 00:35:03 same team and so we want to make sure
00:35:01 00:35:06 that we are just bringing Consciousness
00:35:03 00:35:08 to the relationship and we we do that
00:35:06 00:35:10 like you know for there's a lot of
00:35:08 00:35:12 things that we just let go because we're
00:35:10 00:35:14 like okay you know what it's not worth
00:35:12 00:35:17 it you know it's just let it go and just
00:35:14 00:35:20 you know choose the higher path and
00:35:17 00:35:22 um and and and so it allows us to avoid
00:35:20 00:35:24 a lot of unnecessary conflict and
00:35:22 00:35:26 arguments and
00:35:24 00:35:28 um drama in our relationship
00:35:26 00:35:31 yeah you know it's it's ultimately
00:35:28 00:35:33 realizing that um you know when these
00:35:31 00:35:35 have these arguments these fights
00:35:33 00:35:39 oftentimes it's because you're in your
00:35:35 00:35:41 ego and your ego is just fear and your
00:35:39 00:35:42 ego uh says that I'm right and you're
00:35:41 00:35:43 wrong
00:35:42 00:35:45 and you got to be very careful when you
00:35:43 00:35:46 get to that point because that's when
00:35:45 00:35:49 you're unconscious that's when you're
00:35:46 00:35:51 caught up in your ego and you really
00:35:49 00:35:55 when you when you become conscious a big
00:35:51 00:35:58 part of it is looking at being able to
00:35:55 00:36:00 let go of your attachment to being right
00:35:58 00:36:01 uh because how do you know if you're
00:36:00 00:36:03 really right and the other person's
00:36:01 00:36:06 wrong you know there is no right or
00:36:03 00:36:07 wrong there's possibilities and to
00:36:06 00:36:09 become a more conscious person you have
00:36:07 00:36:12 to step out of your attachment of being
00:36:09 00:36:15 right and you have to be willing to get
00:36:12 00:36:17 outside of your belief and be able to
00:36:15 00:36:19 look at the other person's perspective
00:36:17 00:36:21 you know to be able to walk into their
00:36:19 00:36:24 shoes and see okay why why do they
00:36:21 00:36:26 believe this why are they reacting this
00:36:24 00:36:29 way why you know why are they upset
00:36:26 00:36:31 right now and be and that's what self
00:36:29 00:36:33 personal development does is it allows
00:36:31 00:36:35 you to understand human beings on a
00:36:33 00:36:37 deeper level because I know that you
00:36:35 00:36:40 know if Tatiana says or does something
00:36:37 00:36:42 that is a critikism or whatever it is
00:36:40 00:36:44 it's not really anything to do with me
00:36:42 00:36:46 is something going on with her that
00:36:44 00:36:47 she's in a state of suffering you know
00:36:46 00:36:49 there's actually two types of responses
00:36:47 00:36:51 that you can have in any communication
00:36:49 00:36:53 there's either a loving response or
00:36:51 00:36:54 there's a cry for help if it's not a
00:36:53 00:36:57 loving response it's a cry for help so
00:36:54 00:36:58 if someone's angry if they're upset if
00:36:57 00:37:01 they're yelling if they're critikizing
00:36:58 00:37:02 if they're making inappropriate comments
00:37:01 00:37:04 then I know that's a cry for help this
00:37:02 00:37:06 person's suffering and so when you
00:37:04 00:37:07 become more conscious you're able to
00:37:06 00:37:10 step outside yourself and understand it
00:37:07 00:37:13 and appreciate their world as Stephen
00:37:10 00:37:16 Covey says seek first to understand then
00:37:13 00:37:17 to be understood and so a lot of people
00:37:16 00:37:20 they're not willing to do this because
00:37:17 00:37:21 their ego gets you know their ego
00:37:20 00:37:23 doesn't want to change the ego doesn't
00:37:21 00:37:25 want to be wrong and the egos is trying
00:37:23 00:37:26 to preserve itself it's trying to
00:37:25 00:37:28 preserve your identity and all these
00:37:26 00:37:31 beliefs and it has so much attachment to
00:37:28 00:37:33 it so when you can realize these beliefs
00:37:31 00:37:36 and these behaviors not really who this
00:37:33 00:37:38 person is at their soul then you can put
00:37:36 00:37:40 that aside and focus on just loving this
00:37:38 00:37:42 person having compassion having
00:37:40 00:37:44 forgiveness for this person and that's
00:37:42 00:37:46 what we try to work on in our
00:37:44 00:37:48 relationship and then the other piece is
00:37:46 00:37:49 that you can have disagreements which is
00:37:48 00:37:53 just you know you have your belief I
00:37:49 00:37:55 have my belief but when you argue when
00:37:53 00:37:57 you yell when you fight when you say
00:37:55 00:38:00 inappropriate things
00:37:57 00:38:03 that that's more a reflection of what's
00:38:00 00:38:06 going on within you because why you know
00:38:03 00:38:09 for me if I get upset
00:38:06 00:38:10 why am I so triggered by this why why am
00:38:09 00:38:13 I hooked by this why is this affecting
00:38:10 00:38:15 me so much what am I overvaluing yeah
00:38:13 00:38:17 why am I so attached to this why what am
00:38:15 00:38:19 I overvaluing right now what am I
00:38:17 00:38:21 believing right now in my mind for me to
00:38:19 00:38:24 react and behave in this way because you
00:38:21 00:38:25 can have a healthy disagreement but you
00:38:24 00:38:27 should never get to the point where
00:38:25 00:38:29 you're yelling arguing fighting that's
00:38:27 00:38:30 something that's going on with you that
00:38:29 00:38:32 you need to heal that has nothing to do
00:38:30 00:38:33 with the other person right so that's
00:38:32 00:38:35 something that you got to take
00:38:33 00:38:38 responsibility for and as part of your
00:38:35 00:38:40 job is to work on yourself so that you
00:38:38 00:38:43 don't have you can disagree without
00:38:40 00:38:45 having a negative reaction and and that
00:38:43 00:38:46 doesn't just go for a relationship in
00:38:45 00:38:48 your partner your relationship will
00:38:46 00:38:49 bring that out because it's a place of
00:38:48 00:38:51 intimacy and You're vulnerable and you
00:38:49 00:38:54 can get hurt a lot easier but you see
00:38:51 00:38:57 people react in crazy ways on social
00:38:54 00:39:00 media with covid with politiks with
00:38:57 00:39:01 religion all of that stuff but why are
00:39:00 00:39:05 people so triggered why there's there's
00:39:01 00:39:07 a deeper uh pain that's going on in that
00:39:05 00:39:09 person whether it's trauma whether it's
00:39:07 00:39:11 they have some unresolved issues anger
00:39:09 00:39:13 resentments it's just like you know when
00:39:11 00:39:15 someone bullies someone in school
00:39:13 00:39:17 everybody knows a bully is the insecure
00:39:15 00:39:19 one the bully is the reason why they're
00:39:17 00:39:20 behaving that way is because they're not
00:39:19 00:39:23 happy within themselves because if they
00:39:20 00:39:24 were they only answer an expression that
00:39:23 00:39:27 comes out of someone who's truly happy
00:39:24 00:39:29 is love is positivity you know there is
00:39:27 00:39:31 no anger that exists within someone
00:39:29 00:39:33 who's truly happy and fulfilled in their
00:39:31 00:39:35 life and so if raising your
00:39:33 00:39:37 Consciousness is the ultimate goal and
00:39:35 00:39:39 having a conscious relationship then you
00:39:37 00:39:41 need to be willing to look at yourself
00:39:39 00:39:44 and how you're reacting
00:39:41 00:39:46 and you know Tatiana uh for example you
00:39:44 00:39:48 know some some one thing that sometimes
00:39:46 00:39:51 triggers me is if she's taking a long
00:39:48 00:39:52 time to do something well she you know I
00:39:51 00:39:54 might disagree with that and I could
00:39:52 00:39:56 tok to her about that but why am I
00:39:54 00:39:57 being annoyed by that why am I being
00:39:56 00:40:00 irritated by that why you know what
00:39:57 00:40:01 what's that reaction okay what do I need
00:40:00 00:40:03 to work on with myself maybe I got to
00:40:01 00:40:06 work on being more patient maybe I need
00:40:03 00:40:08 to but there you can have a disagreement
00:40:06 00:40:10 in beliefs without the emotion tied to
00:40:08 00:40:12 it and that's something that is an
00:40:10 00:40:15 important thing to look at I so
00:40:12 00:40:18 basically the way I see it in my life is
00:40:15 00:40:21 that anything anytime that I'm triggered
00:40:18 00:40:23 by something anytime that I feel fear
00:40:21 00:40:25 arising in my body anytime that someone
00:40:23 00:40:27 does something or hear a piece of news
00:40:25 00:40:29 that causes you know anytime I'm feeling
00:40:27 00:40:31 uncomfortable I'm seeing this as an
00:40:29 00:40:33 opportunity it's an opportunity because
00:40:31 00:40:35 it's an opportunity for me to think
00:40:33 00:40:38 about myself and to reflect on something
00:40:35 00:40:40 deeper within me something deeper that I
00:40:38 00:40:42 could maybe resolve and it can help me
00:40:40 00:40:43 to raise my level of Consciousness so
00:40:42 00:40:47 even before we started filming today
00:40:43 00:40:49 like you know it was kind of chaotik to
00:40:47 00:40:51 be honest you know the dog was kind of
00:40:49 00:40:53 being annoyed and it took forever to get
00:40:51 00:40:56 the microphone set up and the whole
00:40:53 00:40:58 thing was just taking so long and you
00:40:56 00:41:01 know Stefan um was a bit impatient about
00:40:58 00:41:03 it and um you know and and so for him
00:41:01 00:41:05 he's like well wait a minute like this
00:41:03 00:41:08 is an opportunity right I could be
00:41:05 00:41:10 impatient I could get upset about it and
00:41:08 00:41:12 you know it could you know affect my
00:41:10 00:41:14 state or I could say well maybe this is
00:41:12 00:41:16 an opportunity maybe this is actually a
00:41:14 00:41:18 gift maybe all of these delays is a gift
00:41:16 00:41:20 for me to actually sit down and meditate
00:41:18 00:41:22 for a moment before I start filming and
00:41:20 00:41:26 and actually you know ask okay maybe
00:41:22 00:41:27 patience is my um is my teacher this is
00:41:26 00:41:29 what I need to learn everyone's got
00:41:27 00:41:33 their thing right maybe you know for you
00:41:29 00:41:35 it's patience maybe for me it's um it's
00:41:33 00:41:37 insecurity maybe you know everyone's got
00:41:35 00:41:39 their thing right and it's just seeing
00:41:37 00:41:41 that this is what it I need to work on
00:41:39 00:41:43 Within Myself And if I can work on that
00:41:41 00:41:45 and overcome that that's going to allow
00:41:43 00:41:47 me to achieve more freedom Within Myself
00:41:45 00:41:49 and it's going to allow me to raise my
00:41:47 00:41:51 level of Consciousness and bring more
00:41:49 00:41:52 Consciousness to my relationship now the
00:41:51 00:41:55 last thing I want to say before we get
00:41:52 00:41:58 to the next question is one thing that
00:41:55 00:42:01 we from the day that we decided that we
00:41:58 00:42:04 are committed to each other we told each
00:42:01 00:42:06 other I know your soul I know that your
00:42:04 00:42:09 intent is pure I know that you love me I
00:42:06 00:42:12 love you and I that's something that
00:42:09 00:42:14 will never change I know your intent and
00:42:12 00:42:16 I think that's very important because in
00:42:14 00:42:17 relationships yes there's going to be
00:42:16 00:42:20 things that you disagree on we know we
00:42:17 00:42:22 covered that but we what we promised
00:42:20 00:42:25 each other is that we will always know
00:42:22 00:42:27 that our intent is pure in spite of the
00:42:25 00:42:29 actions in spite of the words in spite
00:42:27 00:42:31 of whatever happens we know that this
00:42:29 00:42:32 person's not trying to hurt me I know
00:42:31 00:42:34 that Stefan would never try to
00:42:32 00:42:36 intentionally hurt me if he's doing
00:42:34 00:42:37 something that I feel hurt from it's
00:42:36 00:42:39 because there's something that he's
00:42:37 00:42:41 hurting from and it's just a cry for
00:42:39 00:42:43 help so I know that he never actually
00:42:41 00:42:44 wants to hurt me because his intent is
00:42:43 00:42:46 pure and it's a promise it's something
00:42:44 00:42:50 that we know about each other and so it
00:42:46 00:42:52 allows us to to to rise above the
00:42:50 00:42:54 situation rise above the events rise
00:42:52 00:42:56 above the arguments of what's being said
00:42:54 00:42:57 and to kind of step outside of that and
00:42:56 00:42:59 see things for a different perspective
00:42:57 00:43:01 of like yeah maybe this is a cry for
00:42:59 00:43:04 help yeah you know we're both trying to
00:43:01 00:43:06 focus on being forgiving you know being
00:43:04 00:43:08 someone who's forgiving means that you
00:43:06 00:43:10 have the ability to forgive the other
00:43:08 00:43:11 person and you can forgive people
00:43:10 00:43:13 because you know that you're not perfect
00:43:11 00:43:16 oh yeah you know we all have flaws and
00:43:13 00:43:18 we all have weaknesses but you know does
00:43:16 00:43:20 that make you a bad person because you
00:43:18 00:43:23 behaved no deep down in your soul you're
00:43:20 00:43:25 a beautiful person and um you know we
00:43:23 00:43:27 always remind ourselves of that but all
00:43:25 00:43:30 of this requires Consciousness awareness
00:43:27 00:43:33 the ability to think on this level to be
00:43:30 00:43:34 able to get outside of yourself and be
00:43:33 00:43:37 open to other possibilities and
00:43:34 00:43:39 perspectives and the other important
00:43:37 00:43:41 piece too here is
00:43:39 00:43:43 you know one question you can ask
00:43:41 00:43:45 yourself whenever you're in a fight is
00:43:43 00:43:46 do I want to be right
00:43:45 00:43:48 or do I want to be in love
00:43:46 00:43:50 do I want to be right
00:43:48 00:43:52 or would I rather be happy
00:43:50 00:43:54 at the end of the day who gives a
00:43:52 00:43:56 about being right it's like oh yeah I
00:43:54 00:43:58 won the fight okay well what do you
00:43:56 00:43:59 really win from that except you just
00:43:58 00:44:01 cause harm and damage to your
00:43:59 00:44:04 relationship yeah your ego is like
00:44:01 00:44:06 satisfied because I was right and the
00:44:04 00:44:09 other person apologized now you know but
00:44:06 00:44:11 that was at the cost of your
00:44:09 00:44:13 relationship so if you can let that go
00:44:11 00:44:15 and say you know what who gives a
00:44:13 00:44:16 who's right and wrong I'm wrong you can
00:44:15 00:44:18 be right if you want I don't care it's
00:44:16 00:44:20 like I want to be in love I want to be
00:44:18 00:44:23 happy that's the most important thing
00:44:20 00:44:25 but it's the ego that wants to be right
00:44:23 00:44:28 wants to hold on to that whenever you
00:44:25 00:44:29 can identify ego hates being caught when
00:44:28 00:44:32 you you can bring awareness and identify
00:44:29 00:44:34 the ego hey that's the ego then that's
00:44:32 00:44:36 how you have awareness and Consciousness
00:44:34 00:44:38 in that moment when you caught it
00:44:36 00:44:40 because it tries to avoid that so I
00:44:38 00:44:42 think that's part of letting things go
00:44:40 00:44:44 so there's a lot of things in our
00:44:42 00:44:46 relationship like there are many times
00:44:44 00:44:48 that yeah I just yeah I could I could
00:44:46 00:44:51 stir up a fright I could you know call
00:44:48 00:44:53 him out on that and I'm sure vice versa
00:44:51 00:44:55 but it's just like Let It Go because if
00:44:53 00:44:57 okay so yeah you stir something up and
00:44:55 00:44:59 you show them that they're wrong but
00:44:57 00:45:01 like then you've ruined your day and now
00:44:59 00:45:03 you have no chemistry and intimacy
00:45:01 00:45:05 between each other and you're upset with
00:45:03 00:45:08 each other and it's like what for
00:45:05 00:45:11 ultimately again the outcome is love the
00:45:08 00:45:15 outcome is to be a unit and to work
00:45:11 00:45:17 together like we are we what we're here
00:45:15 00:45:19 to do is to bless each other's lives you
00:45:17 00:45:20 know I want to be a joy in his life he
00:45:19 00:45:22 wants to be a joy in my life and we want
00:45:20 00:45:24 to support each other because life is
00:45:22 00:45:26 hard enough as it is we don't need you
00:45:24 00:45:29 know each other to make things even
00:45:26 00:45:31 harder so um we just want to help each
00:45:29 00:45:33 other out as much as we can and just one
00:45:31 00:45:35 more thing it's going back to the
00:45:33 00:45:37 opportunity to grow and to be a giver
00:45:35 00:45:40 okay that that that's I think one of the
00:45:37 00:45:42 most important highest purposes that you
00:45:40 00:45:44 can have is to evolve yourself and
00:45:42 00:45:45 become more self-actualized so that you
00:45:44 00:45:47 are more of a giver
00:45:45 00:45:49 and uh you know for example there might
00:45:47 00:45:51 be a situation where you have an
00:45:49 00:45:54 expectation and that expectation is not
00:45:51 00:45:56 being met so maybe it's like okay I
00:45:54 00:45:58 expect for them to have dinner prepared
00:45:56 00:46:00 and they didn't do that and so I'm upset
00:45:58 00:46:03 and I'm angry well maybe that's an
00:46:00 00:46:04 opportunity for you maybe that's an
00:46:03 00:46:06 opportunity for you to step up and to be
00:46:04 00:46:08 a giver right now you know and that and
00:46:06 00:46:10 that's an opportunity for you to evolve
00:46:08 00:46:12 your Consciousness or you know they left
00:46:10 00:46:13 out their clothes you know I could be
00:46:12 00:46:15 upset and I can cause a whole fight
00:46:13 00:46:17 around that or I can say you know what
00:46:15 00:46:18 I'm gonna I'm gonna step up I wanna be a
00:46:17 00:46:20 giver right now I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:46:18 00:46:22 clean up and I'm not gonna have this
00:46:20 00:46:24 expectation it's not going to be this
00:46:22 00:46:26 trade where it's like I'm doing this and
00:46:24 00:46:28 you're not doing that who cares about
00:46:26 00:46:30 measuring who's getting more than the
00:46:28 00:46:32 other you know that that that doesn't
00:46:30 00:46:34 you want to pride yourself in the one
00:46:32 00:46:36 that's giving more to your partner you
00:46:34 00:46:37 know that's that's the identity that you
00:46:36 00:46:39 want to have for yourself and take on is
00:46:37 00:46:41 that I'm the kind of person that's
00:46:39 00:46:43 giving more to my part and I'm giving
00:46:41 00:46:44 you know and stepping up and you get joy
00:46:43 00:46:46 and pleasure in that because whatever
00:46:44 00:46:48 you give you get to keep whatever you
00:46:46 00:46:50 give you get to feel an experience
00:46:48 00:46:53 within yourself it benefits you
00:46:50 00:46:55 so you know becoming more conscious
00:46:53 00:46:58 becoming more of a giver contribution
00:46:55 00:47:01 these are just values and beliefs and um
00:46:58 00:47:03 you know it's just an ideal to pursue in
00:47:01 00:47:04 your relationship that you're not going
00:47:03 00:47:06 to be perfect with it's a lifelong
00:47:04 00:47:08 journey but that's part of the Spiritual
00:47:06 00:47:10 Development that we all go through yeah
00:47:08 00:47:11 yeah on the last
00:47:10 00:47:13 event
00:47:11 00:47:17 um you know just think about the feeling
00:47:13 00:47:19 if you want to be right at the cost of
00:47:17 00:47:21 maybe creating an argument and okay so
00:47:19 00:47:23 say you win the argument and you prove
00:47:21 00:47:26 that you write how do you feel not
00:47:23 00:47:27 really good right but what if you say
00:47:26 00:47:30 instead okay I'm just willing to let it
00:47:27 00:47:33 go and you know she's right he's right
00:47:30 00:47:35 like who cares how do you feel then well
00:47:33 00:47:36 you've been able to rise above it and
00:47:35 00:47:38 that's the feeling of Consciousness
00:47:36 00:47:41 that's the that's the feeling of taking
00:47:38 00:47:44 yeah the higher Road and it's much more
00:47:41 00:47:45 satisfying yeah and it's great okay I
00:47:44 00:47:48 don't know do we have time to do more
00:47:45 00:47:49 questions I think we should wrap this up
00:47:48 00:47:51 I think we've covered a lot of topics I
00:47:49 00:47:52 think we could have done a few YouTube
00:47:51 00:47:54 videos another video because we have
00:47:52 00:47:55 like a lot more yeah you know we can
00:47:54 00:47:57 maybe do another video for you guys
00:47:55 00:47:58 where we dive into some more of the
00:47:57 00:47:59 questions we don't want to keep this one
00:47:58 00:48:01 too long
00:47:59 00:48:03 um so let's wrap this one up if you guys
00:48:01 00:48:05 enjoyed this video uh give it a thumbs
00:48:03 00:48:07 up of course subscribe for more leave
00:48:05 00:48:09 comments below let us know what
00:48:07 00:48:10 resonated with you or maybe there's
00:48:09 00:48:11 other questions that you might have that
00:48:10 00:48:14 we can maybe be answered in a future
00:48:11 00:48:17 video but it's fun to do this because
00:48:14 00:48:20 you know we one of our Visions for our
00:48:17 00:48:23 our relationship is to inspire others
00:48:20 00:48:24 and to have a love so strong a passion
00:48:23 00:48:26 so strong that we can be an example and
00:48:24 00:48:29 Inspire others because you know it's so
00:48:26 00:48:30 hard to find amazing relationships I
00:48:29 00:48:33 don't know about you but when you look
00:48:30 00:48:34 around we didn't have many many good
00:48:33 00:48:35 Role Models our parents unfortunately
00:48:34 00:48:37 weren't
00:48:35 00:48:40 um you know there's a lot of uh the
00:48:37 00:48:41 divorce rate is so high and so when you
00:48:40 00:48:44 do find
00:48:41 00:48:46 um incredible relationships as a model
00:48:44 00:48:48 that's something that we both cherish
00:48:46 00:48:50 and we've been able to find not easy to
00:48:48 00:48:52 find but we make it our goal to try to
00:48:50 00:48:54 be that in some way for you guys as well
00:48:52 00:48:56 and and our relationship and our way of
00:48:54 00:48:58 being can be a contribution to the world
00:48:56 00:49:02 yeah absolutely there's so much that
00:48:58 00:49:03 we'd love to share but also just want to
00:49:02 00:49:05 remind you guys check out our wedding
00:49:03 00:49:07 video it's we're really excited to be
00:49:05 00:49:08 able to share the moment with you
00:49:07 00:49:12 because you guys have been part of our
00:49:08 00:49:14 journey you know pretty much since we
00:49:12 00:49:15 started dating we've been doing videos
00:49:14 00:49:18 together on YouTube and it's been really
00:49:15 00:49:19 cool to just share our relationship a
00:49:18 00:49:22 part of our relationship with you guys
00:49:19 00:49:26 and so yeah we would love for you to
00:49:22 00:49:28 watch that and enjoy um enjoy that with
00:49:26 00:49:32 us and leave us a comment and let us
00:49:28 00:49:33 know yeah how you're doing and yeah if
00:49:32 00:49:35 you have any questions about your
00:49:33 00:49:37 relationship or any other further
00:49:35 00:49:39 relationship questions that you would
00:49:37 00:49:41 like us to answer in another video just
00:49:39 00:49:43 let us know in the comment section of
00:49:41 00:49:47 this video so thank you so much for
00:49:43 00:49:47 watching and have a fabulous day