How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James
Published on: December 2 2022 by Tatiana James
How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James
How To Stay In Love In A Long-Term Relationship - Q&A w/Stefan and Tatiana James
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| 00:00:00 | 00:00:06 | your personal growth is so important not |
| 00:00:03 | 00:00:08 | just for yourself but with whomever you |
| 00:00:06 | 00:00:11 | spend time with with all the people that |
| 00:00:08 | 00:00:12 | are a part of your life especially the |
| 00:00:11 | 00:00:15 | person that you spend your life with |
| 00:00:12 | 00:00:18 | because when you grow and you bring |
| 00:00:15 | 00:00:20 | awareness to your life and to what you |
| 00:00:18 | 00:00:23 | do every single day when you're able to |
| 00:00:20 | 00:00:25 | separate yourself from your actions and |
| 00:00:23 | 00:00:27 | from your thoughts and you can grow in |
| 00:00:25 | 00:00:29 | Consciousness you're going to be able to |
| 00:00:27 | 00:00:31 | bring that into your relationship we're |
| 00:00:29 | 00:00:34 | a partnership and that means that our |
| 00:00:31 | 00:00:36 | goal is love our goal is to be in love |
| 00:00:34 | 00:00:39 | is to bring joy to each other's lives is |
| 00:00:36 | 00:00:41 | to help meet each other's needs if we're |
| 00:00:39 | 00:00:43 | fighting well wouldn't that mean that |
| 00:00:41 | 00:00:45 | we're enemies if we're fighting would |
| 00:00:43 | 00:00:46 | that mean we're not on the same team all |
| 00:00:45 | 00:00:49 | ego is going to do is create separation |
| 00:00:46 | 00:00:51 | it's going to create Division and when |
| 00:00:49 | 00:00:53 | you get rid of that and you dissolve the |
| 00:00:51 | 00:00:55 | ego then you go back to love and you |
| 00:00:53 | 00:00:59 | really focus on what's most important |
| 00:00:55 | 00:00:59 | which is the unity of a relationship |
| 00:01:01 | 00:01:06 | hey everyone it's Stefan and Tatiana and |
| 00:01:04 | 00:01:09 | today we are here to answer your |
| 00:01:06 | 00:01:10 | relationship questions we've asked our |
| 00:01:09 | 00:01:12 | YouTube subscribers our Instagram |
| 00:01:10 | 00:01:14 | followers what are your most important |
| 00:01:12 | 00:01:15 | relationship questions and so we're |
| 00:01:14 | 00:01:17 | going to be answering some general |
| 00:01:15 | 00:01:19 | questions about relationships and some |
| 00:01:17 | 00:01:21 | personal ones as well just pulling from |
| 00:01:19 | 00:01:23 | our experience of being together over |
| 00:01:21 | 00:01:25 | the last seven years yeah and most of |
| 00:01:23 | 00:01:26 | you guys might know that we recently got |
| 00:01:25 | 00:01:29 | married and we just published on our |
| 00:01:26 | 00:01:31 | YouTube channels our wedding videos so |
| 00:01:29 | 00:01:33 | if you guys want to celebrate that day |
| 00:01:31 | 00:01:34 | with us and watch all the highlights |
| 00:01:33 | 00:01:36 | from it you guys can watch it on the |
| 00:01:34 | 00:01:38 | Tatiana James YouTube channel or on the |
| 00:01:36 | 00:01:40 | project life Mastery YouTube channel and |
| 00:01:38 | 00:01:42 | we'll throw links below for you guys for |
| 00:01:40 | 00:01:44 | that but we're excited to dive in and |
| 00:01:42 | 00:01:45 | see how we can support you guys and |
| 00:01:44 | 00:01:48 | share with you guys what we've learned |
| 00:01:45 | 00:01:50 | of our relationship uh now over the last |
| 00:01:48 | 00:01:53 | seven plus years okay so question number |
| 00:01:50 | 00:01:55 | one how to stay in love in a long-term |
| 00:01:53 | 00:01:57 | relationship and keep things exciting |
| 00:01:55 | 00:01:59 | it's a great question because that's a |
| 00:01:57 | 00:02:01 | constant focus in a relationship the |
| 00:01:59 | 00:02:03 | relationship just like any other aspect |
| 00:02:01 | 00:02:05 | of your life is something that you have |
| 00:02:03 | 00:02:07 | to constantly focus on you have to |
| 00:02:05 | 00:02:09 | constantly grow if you're not growing |
| 00:02:07 | 00:02:10 | then you're dying and that same goes for |
| 00:02:09 | 00:02:11 | your body the same goes for your |
| 00:02:10 | 00:02:13 | finances your business and of course |
| 00:02:11 | 00:02:16 | your relationship so one thing that's |
| 00:02:13 | 00:02:18 | helped us a lot is a framework that |
| 00:02:16 | 00:02:19 | we've learned very early on in a |
| 00:02:18 | 00:02:21 | relationship and started applying it |
| 00:02:19 | 00:02:24 | it's called the six human needs by Tony |
| 00:02:21 | 00:02:27 | Robbins and essentially the idea behind |
| 00:02:24 | 00:02:29 | it is that if you're focused on |
| 00:02:27 | 00:02:31 | fulfilling and meeting your partner's |
| 00:02:29 | 00:02:33 | needs at a high level then you're going |
| 00:02:31 | 00:02:35 | to have an incredible relationship an |
| 00:02:33 | 00:02:37 | amazing passionate love affair that's |
| 00:02:35 | 00:02:40 | always growing that there's intimacy |
| 00:02:37 | 00:02:42 | there's love and passion and oftentimes |
| 00:02:40 | 00:02:44 | the struggles that people have in the |
| 00:02:42 | 00:02:46 | relationship the lack of passion the |
| 00:02:44 | 00:02:49 | lack of love and connection and intimacy |
| 00:02:46 | 00:02:51 | is because there's certain needs that |
| 00:02:49 | 00:02:53 | are not being fulfilled and so what we |
| 00:02:51 | 00:02:56 | love about this model it's a very easy |
| 00:02:53 | 00:02:57 | way to measure where you're at in a |
| 00:02:56 | 00:02:59 | relationship which needs are being |
| 00:02:57 | 00:03:02 | fulfilled at a high level in which knee |
| 00:02:59 | 00:03:04 | are not being fulfilled and we have a |
| 00:03:02 | 00:03:06 | relationship ritual that we do every |
| 00:03:04 | 00:03:08 | week or so where we check in on a |
| 00:03:06 | 00:03:10 | relationship just like you check in on |
| 00:03:08 | 00:03:11 | the progress you're making in your |
| 00:03:10 | 00:03:14 | physical body or your finances your |
| 00:03:11 | 00:03:15 | business we measure things in a |
| 00:03:14 | 00:03:17 | relationship as well because you can't |
| 00:03:15 | 00:03:19 | manage something if you don't measure it |
| 00:03:17 | 00:03:20 | and so the six human needs I'll share |
| 00:03:19 | 00:03:22 | with you real quick |
| 00:03:20 | 00:03:24 | number one we all have a need for |
| 00:03:22 | 00:03:26 | certainty and this is not just in |
| 00:03:24 | 00:03:27 | relationships this is just in general in |
| 00:03:26 | 00:03:29 | life but it applies to a relationship as |
| 00:03:27 | 00:03:31 | well so we have a need to feel certain |
| 00:03:29 | 00:03:34 | you have a need to feel secure and safe |
| 00:03:31 | 00:03:37 | and comfortable in relationship we also |
| 00:03:34 | 00:03:40 | have a need for uncertainty variety |
| 00:03:37 | 00:03:42 | excitement surprise you know that's a |
| 00:03:40 | 00:03:44 | spice of life so we need there's a |
| 00:03:42 | 00:03:46 | paradox there we need certainty but also |
| 00:03:44 | 00:03:47 | uncertainty because if you are always |
| 00:03:46 | 00:03:49 | certain about something in a |
| 00:03:47 | 00:03:51 | relationship which a lot of people are |
| 00:03:49 | 00:03:53 | they get very comfortable and complacent |
| 00:03:51 | 00:03:54 | then you get bored you don't have that |
| 00:03:53 | 00:03:56 | passion you don't have that aliveness |
| 00:03:54 | 00:03:58 | and so that comes from the uncertainty |
| 00:03:56 | 00:04:00 | and the variety that you have and that's |
| 00:03:58 | 00:04:02 | a very important need we also have a |
| 00:04:00 | 00:04:04 | need for connection and love a lot of |
| 00:04:02 | 00:04:06 | times people they settle for Connection |
| 00:04:04 | 00:04:08 | in a relationship because Love's too |
| 00:04:06 | 00:04:09 | scary love means you have to fully open |
| 00:04:08 | 00:04:12 | your heart you have to be vulnerable you |
| 00:04:09 | 00:04:14 | can get hurt if you fully open up and |
| 00:04:12 | 00:04:16 | love someone but that's a very important |
| 00:04:14 | 00:04:19 | need we have a need for significance to |
| 00:04:16 | 00:04:22 | feel special to feel unique to feel |
| 00:04:19 | 00:04:24 | important we also have a need for growth |
| 00:04:22 | 00:04:25 | you know if your relationship's not |
| 00:04:24 | 00:04:27 | growing if you're not growing together |
| 00:04:25 | 00:04:29 | then you're dying so you need to grow |
| 00:04:27 | 00:04:31 | together in the relationship and there's |
| 00:04:29 | 00:04:33 | also a need for contribution if you're |
| 00:04:31 | 00:04:35 | not contributing and giving Beyond |
| 00:04:33 | 00:04:38 | yourself then you have an emptiness in |
| 00:04:35 | 00:04:40 | your relationship and so what we do |
| 00:04:38 | 00:04:43 | is we do a check-in in a process where |
| 00:04:40 | 00:04:44 | we're aware of what needs are being met |
| 00:04:43 | 00:04:46 | and which ones aren't and so we'll check |
| 00:04:44 | 00:04:48 | in with each other and say on a scale |
| 00:04:46 | 00:04:50 | from one to ten how much certainty do |
| 00:04:48 | 00:04:52 | you feel in a relationship right now and |
| 00:04:50 | 00:04:54 | Tatiana was shared and maybe let's say |
| 00:04:52 | 00:04:57 | it's at a seven |
| 00:04:54 | 00:04:59 | well if that's the case then I can say |
| 00:04:57 | 00:05:01 | Okay Tatiana how can I get that to a |
| 00:04:59 | 00:05:03 | tent how can we feel more certainty in |
| 00:05:01 | 00:05:04 | the relationship and she might say you |
| 00:05:03 | 00:05:06 | know I you know what one thing that |
| 00:05:04 | 00:05:07 | makes me feel certain is just knowing |
| 00:05:06 | 00:05:09 | that you're going to be there for me no |
| 00:05:07 | 00:05:12 | matter what you know just giving me that |
| 00:05:09 | 00:05:13 | reassurance so that's something that is |
| 00:05:12 | 00:05:16 | important for her for her to feel |
| 00:05:13 | 00:05:19 | certain and my job my role in the |
| 00:05:16 | 00:05:21 | relationship is to fulfill her needs and |
| 00:05:19 | 00:05:23 | that's that's an important role in the |
| 00:05:21 | 00:05:25 | relationship because there's really |
| 00:05:23 | 00:05:27 | three levels of a relationship there's a |
| 00:05:25 | 00:05:29 | relationship where it's all about you |
| 00:05:27 | 00:05:30 | it's like a selfish mode it's me me me |
| 00:05:29 | 00:05:33 | me and if you're not getting what you |
| 00:05:30 | 00:05:36 | want then you have a fit about it that's |
| 00:05:33 | 00:05:38 | the most unconscious relationship the |
| 00:05:36 | 00:05:39 | second level is when you're trading it's |
| 00:05:38 | 00:05:41 | like okay I'll give love to you I'll |
| 00:05:39 | 00:05:44 | meet your needs but you got to meet my |
| 00:05:41 | 00:05:45 | needs it's really just an exchange the |
| 00:05:44 | 00:05:48 | third level and the most important one |
| 00:05:45 | 00:05:49 | is when you're giving and you're loving |
| 00:05:48 | 00:05:52 | your partner where you're trying to meet |
| 00:05:49 | 00:05:55 | their needs even above your own okay |
| 00:05:52 | 00:05:56 | your needs are my needs and by focusing |
| 00:05:55 | 00:05:59 | on giving and contributing Beyond |
| 00:05:56 | 00:06:01 | herself and fulfilling their needs then |
| 00:05:59 | 00:06:02 | they're going to reciprocate that and |
| 00:06:01 | 00:06:05 | your your needs will be met |
| 00:06:02 | 00:06:06 | simultaneously in that process and so |
| 00:06:05 | 00:06:08 | certainty is very important I'll check |
| 00:06:06 | 00:06:10 | in say how much variety how much |
| 00:06:08 | 00:06:12 | excitement and aliveness do you feel in |
| 00:06:10 | 00:06:14 | the relationship and so she might say |
| 00:06:12 | 00:06:16 | you know maybe it's a five well if |
| 00:06:14 | 00:06:18 | that's the case what can we do to create |
| 00:06:16 | 00:06:20 | more excitement more variety and that's |
| 00:06:18 | 00:06:22 | going to create more passion and I think |
| 00:06:20 | 00:06:24 | an important thing that a lot of people |
| 00:06:22 | 00:06:26 | struggle with when they're giving you |
| 00:06:24 | 00:06:28 | know in a relationship is they say I'm |
| 00:06:26 | 00:06:30 | I'm giving I'm giving I'm meeting their |
| 00:06:28 | 00:06:32 | needs but oftentimes it's not really |
| 00:06:30 | 00:06:35 | what the other person needs it's really |
| 00:06:32 | 00:06:37 | they're giving in a way that that of how |
| 00:06:35 | 00:06:39 | they would want to receive and so a big |
| 00:06:37 | 00:06:41 | part of this is understanding that |
| 00:06:39 | 00:06:43 | Tatiana has a different way of feeling |
| 00:06:41 | 00:06:45 | Variety in the relationship than I might |
| 00:06:43 | 00:06:47 | she has a different way of maybe feeling |
| 00:06:45 | 00:06:48 | love you know if I ask you what it you |
| 00:06:47 | 00:06:51 | know what does it take for you to feel |
| 00:06:48 | 00:06:53 | truly in love she might say well you got |
| 00:06:51 | 00:06:55 | to spend quality time with me you know |
| 00:06:53 | 00:06:57 | maybe that's what's important to her so |
| 00:06:55 | 00:06:59 | I'm gonna in a relationship you're like |
| 00:06:57 | 00:07:01 | a detective trying to figure out you |
| 00:06:59 | 00:07:03 | know what is this person's needs how can |
| 00:07:01 | 00:07:05 | I meet and fulfill your needs at the |
| 00:07:03 | 00:07:06 | highest level and if you can do that |
| 00:07:05 | 00:07:08 | you're going to have an incredible |
| 00:07:06 | 00:07:10 | relationship with love and passion and |
| 00:07:08 | 00:07:12 | excitement so that's kind of a formula |
| 00:07:10 | 00:07:14 | or a framework that we follow that I |
| 00:07:12 | 00:07:15 | think can answer that question for you |
| 00:07:14 | 00:07:17 | guys because |
| 00:07:15 | 00:07:19 | um you know everyone has a different |
| 00:07:17 | 00:07:21 | love language a different way of feeling |
| 00:07:19 | 00:07:23 | love and you've got to find ways to meet |
| 00:07:21 | 00:07:25 | that need for your partner as well as |
| 00:07:23 | 00:07:28 | for passion and excitement and the |
| 00:07:25 | 00:07:31 | variety is essentially what that is but |
| 00:07:28 | 00:07:33 | nobody nobody in relationship when their |
| 00:07:31 | 00:07:34 | needs are fully met and they say you |
| 00:07:33 | 00:07:36 | know I feel so certain in my |
| 00:07:34 | 00:07:38 | relationship that this person's the most |
| 00:07:36 | 00:07:40 | important person in my life and they |
| 00:07:38 | 00:07:42 | make me feel so important significance |
| 00:07:40 | 00:07:44 | that there's so much variety and |
| 00:07:42 | 00:07:46 | excitement and surprise and romance you |
| 00:07:44 | 00:07:48 | write variety uncertainty |
| 00:07:46 | 00:07:49 | um you know I feel totally connected to |
| 00:07:48 | 00:07:53 | my partner and you know I know we're |
| 00:07:49 | 00:07:54 | going to be together forever certainty |
| 00:07:53 | 00:07:56 | um you know we're always growing |
| 00:07:54 | 00:07:59 | together gather growth and we're giving |
| 00:07:56 | 00:08:01 | contributing constantly nobody ever says |
| 00:07:59 | 00:08:03 | when all their needs are met I want to |
| 00:08:01 | 00:08:05 | leave this person you know that never |
| 00:08:03 | 00:08:08 | happens because their needs are being |
| 00:08:05 | 00:08:10 | met and they're lit up by that so that's |
| 00:08:08 | 00:08:11 | that's an important process that we can |
| 00:08:10 | 00:08:14 | share with you guys the opposite of that |
| 00:08:11 | 00:08:15 | is when someone is in the position where |
| 00:08:14 | 00:08:18 | they feel that they want to end a |
| 00:08:15 | 00:08:20 | relationship oftentimes it's because |
| 00:08:18 | 00:08:21 | their needs are not getting met so if |
| 00:08:20 | 00:08:24 | you use this scale and you look at okay |
| 00:08:21 | 00:08:25 | how you know what's my level of |
| 00:08:24 | 00:08:26 | certainty Variety in the relationship |
| 00:08:25 | 00:08:29 | and you'll find they're very very low |
| 00:08:26 | 00:08:31 | but if the partner just starts to meet |
| 00:08:29 | 00:08:34 | those needs for you and vice versa you |
| 00:08:31 | 00:08:37 | can reignite that relationship you can |
| 00:08:34 | 00:08:39 | you can renew that relationship just by |
| 00:08:37 | 00:08:42 | by bringing the intention there and as |
| 00:08:39 | 00:08:44 | you can tell this this is something that |
| 00:08:42 | 00:08:46 | requires your conscious attention it |
| 00:08:44 | 00:08:49 | requires you to allocate time every day |
| 00:08:46 | 00:08:51 | every week to your relationship in the |
| 00:08:49 | 00:08:52 | same way that you do for your job in the |
| 00:08:51 | 00:08:54 | same way that you do for your hobbies |
| 00:08:52 | 00:08:56 | whatever it is that you're dedicate |
| 00:08:54 | 00:08:57 | interesting time and scheduling time in |
| 00:08:56 | 00:08:59 | your calendar for you got to do the same |
| 00:08:57 | 00:09:01 | thing with your relationship and I think |
| 00:08:59 | 00:09:03 | that so many people don't do that |
| 00:09:01 | 00:09:05 | because in long-term relationships when |
| 00:09:03 | 00:09:06 | you're first dating of course right it's |
| 00:09:05 | 00:09:07 | like you're going on dates you're |
| 00:09:06 | 00:09:09 | scheduling dates you're creating so much |
| 00:09:07 | 00:09:11 | variety you're doing all these fun |
| 00:09:09 | 00:09:13 | things you're you know dressing up and |
| 00:09:11 | 00:09:15 | you know looking your best all the time |
| 00:09:13 | 00:09:18 | but when you're going to know each |
| 00:09:15 | 00:09:20 | other's needs when you're in a long-term |
| 00:09:18 | 00:09:21 | relationship what happens is you get |
| 00:09:20 | 00:09:23 | complacent because you're like I already |
| 00:09:21 | 00:09:26 | got this person we've been together |
| 00:09:23 | 00:09:27 | forever I'm comfortable with them now I |
| 00:09:26 | 00:09:29 | don't need to dress up I don't need to |
| 00:09:27 | 00:09:32 | wear makeup we don't need to go on dates |
| 00:09:29 | 00:09:33 | you know and and you just you move away |
| 00:09:32 | 00:09:35 | from what you were doing in the |
| 00:09:33 | 00:09:36 | beginning and if you if you do what |
| 00:09:35 | 00:09:38 | you're doing in the beginning there will |
| 00:09:36 | 00:09:40 | never be an end and so we always remind |
| 00:09:38 | 00:09:43 | ourselves of that but as you can tell |
| 00:09:40 | 00:09:45 | like this takes your focus and it's |
| 00:09:43 | 00:09:48 | important like yes it requires some |
| 00:09:45 | 00:09:50 | energy it takes time it takes work being |
| 00:09:48 | 00:09:53 | a detective but is it worth it hell yeah |
| 00:09:50 | 00:09:54 | this is your relationship you know this |
| 00:09:53 | 00:09:57 | is the person you're gonna spend you're |
| 00:09:54 | 00:09:58 | life with potentially and you know if |
| 00:09:57 | 00:10:01 | you're meeting that person's need and |
| 00:09:58 | 00:10:03 | that person is lit up they're happy |
| 00:10:01 | 00:10:06 | they're in love like that's only going |
| 00:10:03 | 00:10:07 | to help you in your life you guys are |
| 00:10:06 | 00:10:08 | you know the energy this person the |
| 00:10:07 | 00:10:10 | state this person is in is going to |
| 00:10:08 | 00:10:12 | affect your state and the energy you're |
| 00:10:10 | 00:10:15 | in is going to affect this person and so |
| 00:10:12 | 00:10:17 | you want to be a supporting partner and |
| 00:10:15 | 00:10:20 | that's what when you know we are in a |
| 00:10:17 | 00:10:21 | partnership you know we we are a unit |
| 00:10:20 | 00:10:24 | and we want to work together to best |
| 00:10:21 | 00:10:26 | support each other on this journey of |
| 00:10:24 | 00:10:28 | you know the next the light next |
| 00:10:26 | 00:10:30 | lifetime that we share together |
| 00:10:28 | 00:10:31 | um so just I want to share with you a |
| 00:10:30 | 00:10:34 | little bit more of the relationship |
| 00:10:31 | 00:10:36 | ritual because he mentioned one part of |
| 00:10:34 | 00:10:39 | a relationship ritual this is actually a |
| 00:10:36 | 00:10:43 | notebook from like 2016 that I made |
| 00:10:39 | 00:10:44 | um just and we do this this check-in |
| 00:10:43 | 00:10:46 | week we actually started this when we |
| 00:10:44 | 00:10:47 | first started dating like literally in |
| 00:10:46 | 00:10:49 | the first few dates because we already |
| 00:10:47 | 00:10:51 | knew very early on in a relationship |
| 00:10:49 | 00:10:52 | that we're going to be committed and be |
| 00:10:51 | 00:10:54 | together for the rest of our lives yeah |
| 00:10:52 | 00:10:57 | so we started doing this back in 24 14 |
| 00:10:54 | 00:10:59 | and we would do this once a week and |
| 00:10:57 | 00:11:00 | again schedule this in if you just say |
| 00:10:59 | 00:11:01 | we're going to do it once a week it's |
| 00:11:00 | 00:11:02 | not going to happen trust me there's |
| 00:11:01 | 00:11:04 | going to be something else that gets in |
| 00:11:02 | 00:11:06 | the way you've got to put it in your |
| 00:11:04 | 00:11:08 | calendar and say okay Friday's at 5 PM |
| 00:11:06 | 00:11:09 | we're going to sit down we're going to |
| 00:11:08 | 00:11:12 | give each other the time to do this |
| 00:11:09 | 00:11:15 | phones are off no distractions this is |
| 00:11:12 | 00:11:16 | time for us and this is going to be so |
| 00:11:15 | 00:11:18 | good for your relationship I don't care |
| 00:11:16 | 00:11:20 | how long you've been together or if |
| 00:11:18 | 00:11:21 | you're just dating this is going to be |
| 00:11:20 | 00:11:24 | so good because it gives you an |
| 00:11:21 | 00:11:26 | opportunity to really connect to really |
| 00:11:24 | 00:11:28 | not allow to not allow anything to be |
| 00:11:26 | 00:11:30 | brushed under the rug because you know |
| 00:11:28 | 00:11:32 | what I'm toking about all these little |
| 00:11:30 | 00:11:33 | things that you know trigger you and you |
| 00:11:32 | 00:11:35 | don't say anything and then you just |
| 00:11:33 | 00:11:37 | kind of sweep it under the rug but you |
| 00:11:35 | 00:11:39 | know what they stack over time and then |
| 00:11:37 | 00:11:41 | pretty soon you blow up and you have |
| 00:11:39 | 00:11:43 | this explosive fight that can be |
| 00:11:41 | 00:11:45 | extremely damaging and it doesn't have |
| 00:11:43 | 00:11:47 | to get to that point and we're going to |
| 00:11:45 | 00:11:48 | get to that question in a little bit but |
| 00:11:47 | 00:11:49 | I just want to share with you a little |
| 00:11:48 | 00:11:51 | bit more of a relationship ritual |
| 00:11:49 | 00:11:54 | because I know many of you are curious |
| 00:11:51 | 00:11:56 | about this so we go through the 60 human |
| 00:11:54 | 00:11:59 | needs we answer each of us he asked me I |
| 00:11:56 | 00:11:59 | asked him and just to add to this real |
| 00:11:59 | 00:12:01 | quick |
| 00:11:59 | 00:12:03 | um what also is really valuable about |
| 00:12:01 | 00:12:06 | this is that it ensures that |
| 00:12:03 | 00:12:09 | relationship is always amazing because |
| 00:12:06 | 00:12:10 | oftentimes you know people they let |
| 00:12:09 | 00:12:12 | these things slip and as you mentioned |
| 00:12:10 | 00:12:14 | they kind of Stack over time and they |
| 00:12:12 | 00:12:16 | avoid even discussing and toking about |
| 00:12:14 | 00:12:18 | it because it's so painful they know |
| 00:12:16 | 00:12:19 | that oh my gosh I got to tok about my |
| 00:12:18 | 00:12:21 | relationship and you know they know it's |
| 00:12:19 | 00:12:22 | not going as well as they want they know |
| 00:12:21 | 00:12:24 | that they're not meeting their person |
| 00:12:22 | 00:12:26 | you know the partner's needs they know |
| 00:12:24 | 00:12:28 | they might be in a more selfish mode |
| 00:12:26 | 00:12:31 | um and so you know it's very challenging |
| 00:12:28 | 00:12:33 | at that stage to be honest and confront |
| 00:12:31 | 00:12:36 | those challenges but when you check in |
| 00:12:33 | 00:12:38 | every week like this for us it never |
| 00:12:36 | 00:12:40 | really goes below a seven because if it |
| 00:12:38 | 00:12:43 | does go to a seven or below that we're |
| 00:12:40 | 00:12:45 | really quick to get on top of that to do |
| 00:12:43 | 00:12:47 | something that can allow our |
| 00:12:45 | 00:12:49 | relationship to grow but if you don't do |
| 00:12:47 | 00:12:51 | this and time goes on then that seven |
| 00:12:49 | 00:12:53 | drops to a six and a five and a four and |
| 00:12:51 | 00:12:55 | a three and a two and a one and then |
| 00:12:53 | 00:12:57 | it's a lot more Channel so this ensures |
| 00:12:55 | 00:12:58 | that your there's always like a baseline |
| 00:12:57 | 00:13:00 | in the relationship it never goes below |
| 00:12:58 | 00:13:03 | that because you're having communication |
| 00:13:00 | 00:13:05 | with each other on a continual basis and |
| 00:13:03 | 00:13:06 | you have a system for it just like in |
| 00:13:05 | 00:13:08 | your business you know you have |
| 00:13:06 | 00:13:10 | quarterly meetings or you have a meeting |
| 00:13:08 | 00:13:12 | with your team and you work on the |
| 00:13:10 | 00:13:14 | business not always in the business |
| 00:13:12 | 00:13:17 | right so that's the same thing you've |
| 00:13:14 | 00:13:18 | got to work on the relationship not |
| 00:13:17 | 00:13:20 | always get caught up in it and this |
| 00:13:18 | 00:13:22 | allows you to kind of get an altitude |
| 00:13:20 | 00:13:24 | perspective of it to look at your |
| 00:13:22 | 00:13:26 | relationship from a different level yeah |
| 00:13:24 | 00:13:28 | and also why it's so valuable is that |
| 00:13:26 | 00:13:30 | again you're creating this time where |
| 00:13:28 | 00:13:32 | you're saying this is our relationship |
| 00:13:30 | 00:13:35 | time and it's our time to bring presence |
| 00:13:32 | 00:13:38 | to our relationship and you know you the |
| 00:13:35 | 00:13:39 | feminine needs presence and for all you |
| 00:13:38 | 00:13:43 | men who are watching if you're not |
| 00:13:39 | 00:13:45 | giving your woman presence she is that's |
| 00:13:43 | 00:13:48 | a strong need of the feminine and you |
| 00:13:45 | 00:13:50 | might not she might not be in her |
| 00:13:48 | 00:13:51 | feminine as much around you if you want |
| 00:13:50 | 00:13:53 | her to be more in her feminine you got |
| 00:13:51 | 00:13:55 | to be bring a strong presence you can't |
| 00:13:53 | 00:13:57 | be just distracted with work or doing |
| 00:13:55 | 00:14:00 | other things like you've got to have |
| 00:13:57 | 00:14:01 | time for your relationship but anyways I |
| 00:14:00 | 00:14:03 | want to share with you guys so we ask |
| 00:14:01 | 00:14:05 | each other what can you do better to |
| 00:14:03 | 00:14:07 | meet your partner's needs so we answer |
| 00:14:05 | 00:14:09 | that and we write that down we take |
| 00:14:07 | 00:14:12 | notes and it's good because we can look |
| 00:14:09 | 00:14:14 | back on previous sessions and then we |
| 00:14:12 | 00:14:18 | ask each other the five love languages |
| 00:14:14 | 00:14:20 | so Stefan alluded to this earlier |
| 00:14:18 | 00:14:22 | on the five lovelick which is is a book |
| 00:14:20 | 00:14:23 | by Gary Chapman we highly recommend that |
| 00:14:22 | 00:14:25 | you read it we'll link it in the |
| 00:14:23 | 00:14:27 | description box for you because you have |
| 00:14:25 | 00:14:29 | to understand that the way that you |
| 00:14:27 | 00:14:32 | might receive love the way that you feel |
| 00:14:29 | 00:14:34 | love is different than the way that your |
| 00:14:32 | 00:14:36 | partner feels and receives love and this |
| 00:14:34 | 00:14:39 | is a very very important distinction so |
| 00:14:36 | 00:14:42 | if for me it's like |
| 00:14:39 | 00:14:44 | um you know for me it say it's um you |
| 00:14:42 | 00:14:46 | know quality time and you know I just |
| 00:14:44 | 00:14:47 | for me I just I just need people to |
| 00:14:46 | 00:14:50 | spend time with me I like to hang out |
| 00:14:47 | 00:14:52 | with people and then I'm doing I'm |
| 00:14:50 | 00:14:54 | spending so much time with Stefan and |
| 00:14:52 | 00:14:56 | I'm with him and I'm dedicating him |
| 00:14:54 | 00:14:59 | going on dates with him and then we do |
| 00:14:56 | 00:15:00 | this relationship check-in and I say |
| 00:14:59 | 00:15:03 | well on a scale of one to ten how much |
| 00:15:00 | 00:15:04 | love do you feel and he says five and |
| 00:15:03 | 00:15:05 | I'm saying well what the heck like I'm |
| 00:15:04 | 00:15:07 | spending so much time with you I'm |
| 00:15:05 | 00:15:09 | giving you so much quality time why is |
| 00:15:07 | 00:15:11 | it a five and it's because that's not |
| 00:15:09 | 00:15:13 | the way he receives love it's the way I |
| 00:15:11 | 00:15:15 | do so that's usually the way you receive |
| 00:15:13 | 00:15:17 | love is the way you you usually give it |
| 00:15:15 | 00:15:19 | but it's not always the way that your |
| 00:15:17 | 00:15:22 | partner receives that so for him maybe |
| 00:15:19 | 00:15:25 | it's acts of service it's doing things |
| 00:15:22 | 00:15:27 | for him or helping him out or maybe it's |
| 00:15:25 | 00:15:29 | gifts it's buying him gifts and |
| 00:15:27 | 00:15:31 | showering him with gifts you know |
| 00:15:29 | 00:15:33 | everyone has a different one and so I'm |
| 00:15:31 | 00:15:35 | going to share those with you |
| 00:15:33 | 00:15:38 | um over here |
| 00:15:35 | 00:15:41 | so okay so one of them is words of |
| 00:15:38 | 00:15:43 | affirmation so um you know whether it's |
| 00:15:41 | 00:15:46 | compliments or praise the masculine |
| 00:15:43 | 00:15:48 | loves praise just rewarding them |
| 00:15:46 | 00:15:51 | gratitude oh thank you so much for doing |
| 00:15:48 | 00:15:52 | this oh you did such a great job |
| 00:15:51 | 00:15:55 | um you know like that's always a good |
| 00:15:52 | 00:15:58 | one the feminine likes um you know also |
| 00:15:55 | 00:16:00 | praise and compliments physical touch so |
| 00:15:58 | 00:16:03 | whether it's a hug whether it's just |
| 00:16:00 | 00:16:07 | like a kiss on the forehead or a squeeze |
| 00:16:03 | 00:16:10 | on the back or a massage or intimacy |
| 00:16:07 | 00:16:11 | that's another one quality time we've |
| 00:16:10 | 00:16:15 | alluded to that that's very obvious what |
| 00:16:11 | 00:16:18 | that is acts of service so you know |
| 00:16:15 | 00:16:21 | maybe it's helping someone out in their |
| 00:16:18 | 00:16:23 | business or it's cleaning the kitchen or |
| 00:16:21 | 00:16:26 | it's doing someone a favor running an |
| 00:16:23 | 00:16:29 | errand that type of thing cooking a meal |
| 00:16:26 | 00:16:31 | um you know yeah cooking yeah gifts |
| 00:16:29 | 00:16:34 | exchanging gifts gifts doesn't have to |
| 00:16:31 | 00:16:36 | be expensive it can be as small as just |
| 00:16:34 | 00:16:38 | a note a little note left on the table |
| 00:16:36 | 00:16:40 | just I love you thinking of you or maybe |
| 00:16:38 | 00:16:43 | it's just a rose that you come home with |
| 00:16:40 | 00:16:45 | or or it could be you know a diamond |
| 00:16:43 | 00:16:48 | necklace who knows whatever so these are |
| 00:16:45 | 00:16:51 | the different ways that people tend to |
| 00:16:48 | 00:16:54 | receive and give love and so then you |
| 00:16:51 | 00:16:55 | identify what is your partner's love |
| 00:16:54 | 00:16:56 | language and that's something that you |
| 00:16:55 | 00:16:58 | can sit down and you can discuss |
| 00:16:56 | 00:17:00 | together you can you can figure out what |
| 00:16:58 | 00:17:02 | that is for yourself and then share it |
| 00:17:00 | 00:17:03 | with your partner and then it's |
| 00:17:02 | 00:17:06 | important for your partner to understand |
| 00:17:03 | 00:17:09 | that because then they can actually |
| 00:17:06 | 00:17:13 | proactively try and meet that love |
| 00:17:09 | 00:17:14 | language so this is how you really make |
| 00:17:13 | 00:17:16 | sure that your your partner is receiving |
| 00:17:14 | 00:17:19 | love in a way that they understand it |
| 00:17:16 | 00:17:21 | and the ultimate is when you make it a |
| 00:17:19 | 00:17:23 | game you make it a competition like I'm |
| 00:17:21 | 00:17:25 | trying to beat her at meeting her needs |
| 00:17:23 | 00:17:27 | giving more I want to give more to her |
| 00:17:25 | 00:17:28 | than she's given to me right and she's |
| 00:17:27 | 00:17:30 | trying to give more to me than I'm |
| 00:17:28 | 00:17:32 | giving to her and so it becomes this fun |
| 00:17:30 | 00:17:34 | game and dynamic where it's like who can |
| 00:17:32 | 00:17:35 | give to the other person more who can |
| 00:17:34 | 00:17:37 | you know meet the other person's need |
| 00:17:35 | 00:17:39 | more more than anyone else and that's |
| 00:17:37 | 00:17:41 | when it becomes an incredible legendary |
| 00:17:39 | 00:17:44 | relationship is when you both have that |
| 00:17:41 | 00:17:45 | mindset and that mentality |
| 00:17:44 | 00:17:46 | um that's that's when you're going to |
| 00:17:45 | 00:17:48 | create a truly passionate love affair |
| 00:17:46 | 00:17:50 | absolutely and so then we always ask |
| 00:17:48 | 00:17:52 | each other how can you how can your |
| 00:17:50 | 00:17:54 | partner better meet your love language |
| 00:17:52 | 00:17:55 | so and then we also do these |
| 00:17:54 | 00:17:57 | relationship questions and we don't do |
| 00:17:55 | 00:17:59 | this every time it depends on how much |
| 00:17:57 | 00:18:01 | time we want to dedicate to this process |
| 00:17:59 | 00:18:02 | but we'll ask things like what's great |
| 00:18:01 | 00:18:04 | about our relationship what do you love |
| 00:18:02 | 00:18:07 | about it what do you appreciate about |
| 00:18:04 | 00:18:09 | your partner it's a great opportunity to |
| 00:18:07 | 00:18:12 | give you know to meet their needs give |
| 00:18:09 | 00:18:13 | them those words of affirmation what do |
| 00:18:12 | 00:18:15 | you love about your partner how can you |
| 00:18:13 | 00:18:17 | give more to your partner why is it |
| 00:18:15 | 00:18:19 | important to give how can you create |
| 00:18:17 | 00:18:20 | more love in your relationship how can |
| 00:18:19 | 00:18:22 | you create more passion in your |
| 00:18:20 | 00:18:25 | relationship those are two different |
| 00:18:22 | 00:18:27 | things and so we go on and on and then |
| 00:18:25 | 00:18:30 | we also share our magic moments so it's |
| 00:18:27 | 00:18:32 | a time to reflect on the week the things |
| 00:18:30 | 00:18:34 | that we did together that were fun and |
| 00:18:32 | 00:18:36 | we can just write them down and journal |
| 00:18:34 | 00:18:40 | about them and kind of really live them |
| 00:18:36 | 00:18:41 | and and it's it's a fun process and what |
| 00:18:40 | 00:18:44 | we're essentially doing is that you're |
| 00:18:41 | 00:18:47 | directing your focus on all the good all |
| 00:18:44 | 00:18:48 | the positivity all the amazement that |
| 00:18:47 | 00:18:51 | exists in your relationship because |
| 00:18:48 | 00:18:52 | oftentimes people they have a habit of |
| 00:18:51 | 00:18:54 | focusing on what's wrong and what's |
| 00:18:52 | 00:18:56 | missing and if you focus on that then |
| 00:18:54 | 00:18:58 | you get more of that it becomes a |
| 00:18:56 | 00:19:00 | self-fulfilling prophecy and so taking |
| 00:18:58 | 00:19:02 | the time to have gratitude for one |
| 00:19:00 | 00:19:04 | another and asking these questions we |
| 00:19:02 | 00:19:06 | really think and and you really become |
| 00:19:04 | 00:19:08 | aware of yeah you know what I you know I |
| 00:19:06 | 00:19:10 | love this about a relationship or I love |
| 00:19:08 | 00:19:11 | this about you or you know this is what |
| 00:19:10 | 00:19:13 | I can do better in the relationship |
| 00:19:11 | 00:19:15 | because a big part of this too as you |
| 00:19:13 | 00:19:18 | can probably tell is each of us taking |
| 00:19:15 | 00:19:21 | responsibility for how we're showing up |
| 00:19:18 | 00:19:22 | right so I'm taking responsibility if |
| 00:19:21 | 00:19:24 | her needs are not being met I take |
| 00:19:22 | 00:19:26 | responsibility for that because that's |
| 00:19:24 | 00:19:28 | what I can control you know I can |
| 00:19:26 | 00:19:31 | control what I can do and how I show up |
| 00:19:28 | 00:19:33 | and what I can give and that's not this |
| 00:19:31 | 00:19:35 | mode of blaming the other person and |
| 00:19:33 | 00:19:36 | critikizing them they're not doing this |
| 00:19:35 | 00:19:37 | they're not doing that instead of |
| 00:19:36 | 00:19:39 | pointing the finger whenever you point |
| 00:19:37 | 00:19:41 | the finger at someone always realize you |
| 00:19:39 | 00:19:43 | got three fingers pointing back at you |
| 00:19:41 | 00:19:45 | right so you got to look at yourself |
| 00:19:43 | 00:19:47 | first and what am I not doing what am I |
| 00:19:45 | 00:19:49 | not giving and take responsibility for |
| 00:19:47 | 00:19:51 | your relationship and all it takes is |
| 00:19:49 | 00:19:54 | one person to step up and decide to be |
| 00:19:51 | 00:19:55 | the leader right and sometimes people |
| 00:19:54 | 00:19:57 | don't want to do that because they're |
| 00:19:55 | 00:19:59 | like well you know they should be doing |
| 00:19:57 | 00:20:01 | this or they're the one that should be |
| 00:19:59 | 00:20:03 | you know taking charge right now or they |
| 00:20:01 | 00:20:06 | should be admitting that they're wrong |
| 00:20:03 | 00:20:07 | and I was right all that is is ego and |
| 00:20:06 | 00:20:09 | all ego is going to do is create |
| 00:20:07 | 00:20:11 | separation it's going to create Division |
| 00:20:09 | 00:20:13 | and when you get rid of that and you |
| 00:20:11 | 00:20:16 | dissolve the ego then you go back to |
| 00:20:13 | 00:20:18 | love and you really focus on what's most |
| 00:20:16 | 00:20:20 | important which is the unity of a |
| 00:20:18 | 00:20:23 | relationship yeah and you put aside all |
| 00:20:20 | 00:20:25 | the other that you know is all |
| 00:20:23 | 00:20:27 | just your ego it's all just fear and you |
| 00:20:25 | 00:20:28 | just go back to loving this person |
| 00:20:27 | 00:20:31 | because that's the most important thing |
| 00:20:28 | 00:20:32 | and by both of you getting beyond that |
| 00:20:31 | 00:20:35 | and letting go whatever that is and |
| 00:20:32 | 00:20:37 | focusing on the bigger picture that's |
| 00:20:35 | 00:20:39 | what can allow something to grow to |
| 00:20:37 | 00:20:41 | something truly magical exactly now the |
| 00:20:39 | 00:20:45 | last thing I'll say before we jump to |
| 00:20:41 | 00:20:45 | the next question is that |
| 00:20:45 | 00:20:49 | you should be meeting your needs you |
| 00:20:47 | 00:20:51 | know I'm not waiting for someone to come |
| 00:20:49 | 00:20:53 | and meet my needs I'm meeting my own |
| 00:20:51 | 00:20:56 | needs I'm also meeting my own love |
| 00:20:53 | 00:20:57 | language but in a relationship this is |
| 00:20:56 | 00:20:59 | where it's a partnership this is where |
| 00:20:57 | 00:21:01 | it's like I want to meet his needs he |
| 00:20:59 | 00:21:03 | wants to meet my needs but on a personal |
| 00:21:01 | 00:21:06 | level I'm also meeting my needs every |
| 00:21:03 | 00:21:07 | single day and I think it's important to |
| 00:21:06 | 00:21:09 | give that to yourself because you got to |
| 00:21:07 | 00:21:10 | fill your cup up you're not waiting |
| 00:21:09 | 00:21:12 | you're not thirsty for someone else to |
| 00:21:10 | 00:21:14 | fill yours yeah so we actually each have |
| 00:21:12 | 00:21:16 | our you know our loan time you know our |
| 00:21:14 | 00:21:18 | time for each of our morning rituals |
| 00:21:16 | 00:21:21 | that you know Tatiana does certain |
| 00:21:18 | 00:21:23 | things for herself to be at her best uh |
| 00:21:21 | 00:21:25 | her best state and for me I do things |
| 00:21:23 | 00:21:26 | for myself so I can be at my best and |
| 00:21:25 | 00:21:28 | then when we come together |
| 00:21:26 | 00:21:30 | now we are both in a position where we |
| 00:21:28 | 00:21:32 | have something to give because we filled |
| 00:21:30 | 00:21:34 | each other up first |
| 00:21:32 | 00:21:36 | we filled ourselves up yeah |
| 00:21:34 | 00:21:38 | okay question number two |
| 00:21:36 | 00:21:38 | How can I |
| 00:21:39 | 00:21:41 | find it's a great question |
| 00:21:40 | 00:21:43 | um |
| 00:21:41 | 00:21:46 | you know I'll share with you guys a |
| 00:21:43 | 00:21:48 | process that I did to attract Tatiana |
| 00:21:46 | 00:21:51 | um some of you guys may or may not know |
| 00:21:48 | 00:21:54 | but I originally started my career |
| 00:21:51 | 00:21:55 | um in my early 20s as a dating coach I |
| 00:21:54 | 00:21:57 | helped other men improve their |
| 00:21:55 | 00:21:59 | confidence or social skills to meet and |
| 00:21:57 | 00:22:01 | attract women and I started with that |
| 00:21:59 | 00:22:02 | because that was the biggest struggle in |
| 00:22:01 | 00:22:05 | my life when I was in high school I was |
| 00:22:02 | 00:22:06 | shy never had a girlfriend you know when |
| 00:22:05 | 00:22:07 | you're that young that's really what you |
| 00:22:06 | 00:22:10 | care about how can I get a girlfriend |
| 00:22:07 | 00:22:11 | how can it be popular so that was a huge |
| 00:22:10 | 00:22:14 | pain point for me and I really focused |
| 00:22:11 | 00:22:15 | on learning about relationships and |
| 00:22:14 | 00:22:17 | learning about what I can do to improve |
| 00:22:15 | 00:22:19 | myself to become more attractive to |
| 00:22:17 | 00:22:20 | attract what I wanted and how to have |
| 00:22:19 | 00:22:23 | the confidence to go and meet and |
| 00:22:20 | 00:22:25 | approach you know a woman that I found |
| 00:22:23 | 00:22:28 | attractive so that's been a huge focus |
| 00:22:25 | 00:22:30 | of myself and my life and the formula |
| 00:22:28 | 00:22:32 | that I learned it's very similar to |
| 00:22:30 | 00:22:34 | attracting anything in your life The Law |
| 00:22:32 | 00:22:37 | of Attraction the first step number one |
| 00:22:34 | 00:22:39 | is getting Clarity on what you want okay |
| 00:22:37 | 00:22:41 | what do you want in a partner what do |
| 00:22:39 | 00:22:43 | you want in a relationship if you don't |
| 00:22:41 | 00:22:45 | know what you want then how do you even |
| 00:22:43 | 00:22:47 | know if it passes You by so Clarity is |
| 00:22:45 | 00:22:48 | the first thing you got to be specific |
| 00:22:47 | 00:22:51 | about what you want it's no different |
| 00:22:48 | 00:22:52 | than you know if you want to make you |
| 00:22:51 | 00:22:53 | know a certain amount of money if you |
| 00:22:52 | 00:22:55 | want to build a business if you want to |
| 00:22:53 | 00:22:56 | achieve a certain health and fitness |
| 00:22:55 | 00:22:57 | goal you got to know what you want if |
| 00:22:56 | 00:23:00 | you don't know what you want there's no |
| 00:22:57 | 00:23:01 | target there's no destination that |
| 00:23:00 | 00:23:03 | you're after it's like you get in your |
| 00:23:01 | 00:23:04 | car and you're driving around not even |
| 00:23:03 | 00:23:06 | knowing where you're going so you got to |
| 00:23:04 | 00:23:08 | know what you want what that direction |
| 00:23:06 | 00:23:10 | what that partner in the relationship is |
| 00:23:08 | 00:23:13 | that you want to attract and so I |
| 00:23:10 | 00:23:15 | remember for me I took out a journal and |
| 00:23:13 | 00:23:16 | I actually did an Instagram post I |
| 00:23:15 | 00:23:18 | shared this at a wedding and whatnot |
| 00:23:16 | 00:23:20 | maybe I'll share it in another video uh |
| 00:23:18 | 00:23:23 | the the journal that I I did but I got |
| 00:23:20 | 00:23:25 | Clarity and wrote out what do I want and |
| 00:23:23 | 00:23:28 | I was so detailed so specific about |
| 00:23:25 | 00:23:30 | everything physical appearance uh |
| 00:23:28 | 00:23:32 | character traits uh you know certain |
| 00:23:30 | 00:23:35 | personality traits and you know certain |
| 00:23:32 | 00:23:38 | interests and hobbies all of that stuff |
| 00:23:35 | 00:23:40 | and then um out of that list you know I |
| 00:23:38 | 00:23:41 | realized okay well I'm being a little |
| 00:23:40 | 00:23:43 | bit picky here I don't need to have |
| 00:23:41 | 00:23:45 | everything on this list but really what |
| 00:23:43 | 00:23:47 | I did was I identify what are the most |
| 00:23:45 | 00:23:49 | important things what are the things |
| 00:23:47 | 00:23:50 | that are non-negotiable okay so there |
| 00:23:49 | 00:23:52 | are there certain qualities here you |
| 00:23:50 | 00:23:54 | know I need someone who's going to be |
| 00:23:52 | 00:23:56 | honest or I need someone that has a kind |
| 00:23:54 | 00:23:58 | heart you know or I want someone you |
| 00:23:56 | 00:24:01 | know who has this or that those are |
| 00:23:58 | 00:24:02 | things that are non-negotiable and so I |
| 00:24:01 | 00:24:03 | made that list and then I also |
| 00:24:02 | 00:24:04 | identified what kind of relationship you |
| 00:24:03 | 00:24:07 | know what are the things we do together |
| 00:24:04 | 00:24:08 | what would we share together where you |
| 00:24:07 | 00:24:10 | know would we travel together or we'd go |
| 00:24:08 | 00:24:12 | to the gym together we're both into this |
| 00:24:10 | 00:24:14 | we're both into that so I got I wrote |
| 00:24:12 | 00:24:16 | pages and pages and pages of this and |
| 00:24:14 | 00:24:18 | then the second step once you get |
| 00:24:16 | 00:24:20 | clarity on what you want is you ask |
| 00:24:18 | 00:24:23 | yourself the question who do I need to |
| 00:24:20 | 00:24:24 | become in order to attract this into my |
| 00:24:23 | 00:24:26 | life |
| 00:24:24 | 00:24:28 | because you've got to focus and realize |
| 00:24:26 | 00:24:30 | that you attract what you are that if |
| 00:24:28 | 00:24:32 | you want someone who's healthy and fit |
| 00:24:30 | 00:24:34 | well guess what someone who's healthy |
| 00:24:32 | 00:24:36 | and fit are they gonna want to be with |
| 00:24:34 | 00:24:37 | the slob of course not they're going to |
| 00:24:36 | 00:24:39 | want to be with someone who's healthy |
| 00:24:37 | 00:24:41 | and fit so you've got to look at |
| 00:24:39 | 00:24:42 | yourself and say okay well maybe that's |
| 00:24:41 | 00:24:44 | something I need to improve and work on |
| 00:24:42 | 00:24:46 | and master in my life you know if I want |
| 00:24:44 | 00:24:48 | someone who's you know a Kind and |
| 00:24:46 | 00:24:49 | Generous person then I need to be a kind |
| 00:24:48 | 00:24:53 | of generous person I need to focus on |
| 00:24:49 | 00:24:55 | that if I want someone you know who is |
| 00:24:53 | 00:24:58 | uh you know intelligent then I gotta |
| 00:24:55 | 00:25:00 | work on that so I made the list of who I |
| 00:24:58 | 00:25:02 | needed to become who is the best |
| 00:25:00 | 00:25:05 | possible version of myself that this |
| 00:25:02 | 00:25:08 | person would be attracted to me drawn to |
| 00:25:05 | 00:25:10 | me and so that's really where I put a |
| 00:25:08 | 00:25:13 | lot of my focus and I consistently focus |
| 00:25:10 | 00:25:15 | on a regular basis what I wanted I |
| 00:25:13 | 00:25:16 | continue to focus on and read my journal |
| 00:25:15 | 00:25:19 | and then focus on who do I need to |
| 00:25:16 | 00:25:21 | become and then I created a plan for |
| 00:25:19 | 00:25:23 | becoming that and I believe that when |
| 00:25:21 | 00:25:25 | you're living your life from a place of |
| 00:25:23 | 00:25:27 | abundance you're living your life |
| 00:25:25 | 00:25:29 | because you're not just trying to get |
| 00:25:27 | 00:25:30 | someone because you're needy and you |
| 00:25:29 | 00:25:32 | know they're going to fill you up |
| 00:25:30 | 00:25:35 | oftentimes that's when you repel people |
| 00:25:32 | 00:25:37 | but when you're abundance and your flow |
| 00:25:35 | 00:25:39 | of overflowing in your life with |
| 00:25:37 | 00:25:41 | happiness and joy you feel alive and you |
| 00:25:39 | 00:25:43 | feel content and satisfied with who you |
| 00:25:41 | 00:25:45 | are regardless of whether someone else |
| 00:25:43 | 00:25:47 | is in your life you don't need them to |
| 00:25:45 | 00:25:50 | come and complete you now you're more |
| 00:25:47 | 00:25:52 | attractive to people people are going to |
| 00:25:50 | 00:25:54 | be more drawn to you because you're not |
| 00:25:52 | 00:25:57 | coming from a place of of neediness and |
| 00:25:54 | 00:26:00 | expectation that this person has to you |
| 00:25:57 | 00:26:03 | know fulfill you so so that's kind of |
| 00:26:00 | 00:26:06 | the place that um allowed me to attract |
| 00:26:03 | 00:26:08 | Tatiana who by the way you know crazy |
| 00:26:06 | 00:26:11 | story which I shared at the wedding how |
| 00:26:08 | 00:26:13 | when I had done that literally a week |
| 00:26:11 | 00:26:15 | later I attracted her and I went through |
| 00:26:13 | 00:26:18 | my list it was everything I kid you not |
| 00:26:15 | 00:26:20 | everything that had written down that I |
| 00:26:18 | 00:26:22 | wanted in my relationship and so that's |
| 00:26:20 | 00:26:24 | the power of that guys is get clarity on |
| 00:26:22 | 00:26:25 | what you want focus on yourself and that |
| 00:26:24 | 00:26:28 | also means you have to have |
| 00:26:25 | 00:26:30 | self-awareness and honesty to look at |
| 00:26:28 | 00:26:31 | yourself in the mirror because maybe |
| 00:26:30 | 00:26:34 | there's some ways that you're showing up |
| 00:26:31 | 00:26:35 | in your life that are just not you know |
| 00:26:34 | 00:26:37 | that are just not going to allow you to |
| 00:26:35 | 00:26:39 | attract someone maybe you got to do some |
| 00:26:37 | 00:26:42 | work on yourself maybe you've got you |
| 00:26:39 | 00:26:45 | know some uh ways that you're of being |
| 00:26:42 | 00:26:47 | that you know maybe you're reactive |
| 00:26:45 | 00:26:49 | emotionally maybe you know you have an |
| 00:26:47 | 00:26:51 | anger challenge you know or maybe you |
| 00:26:49 | 00:26:53 | have some childhood trauma that you got |
| 00:26:51 | 00:26:55 | to really resolve maybe you've been hurt |
| 00:26:53 | 00:26:56 | in the past and you're closing off your |
| 00:26:55 | 00:26:58 | heart and you're not allowing yourself |
| 00:26:56 | 00:26:59 | to fully trust and open to someone those |
| 00:26:58 | 00:27:02 | are things that you could have awareness |
| 00:26:59 | 00:27:03 | of and say okay I gotta work on this I |
| 00:27:02 | 00:27:07 | got to work on myself I got to heal |
| 00:27:03 | 00:27:08 | myself and when you do then you're so |
| 00:27:07 | 00:27:09 | much more attractive to everyone else |
| 00:27:08 | 00:27:12 | and then you'll attract that right |
| 00:27:09 | 00:27:14 | person in your life I love that very |
| 00:27:12 | 00:27:16 | well said |
| 00:27:14 | 00:27:19 | so if you don't have what you want in |
| 00:27:16 | 00:27:22 | your life or you don't have the person |
| 00:27:19 | 00:27:25 | that you want in your life then it goes |
| 00:27:22 | 00:27:27 | back to taking responsibility and not |
| 00:27:25 | 00:27:30 | being sour and bitter at the world and |
| 00:27:27 | 00:27:32 | saying there's no more good men well you |
| 00:27:30 | 00:27:34 | know looking at yourself and how can I |
| 00:27:32 | 00:27:35 | improve what is what can I improve to |
| 00:27:34 | 00:27:37 | attract this personage my life and we |
| 00:27:35 | 00:27:39 | keep on saying the word attract because |
| 00:27:37 | 00:27:42 | literally when you become the person |
| 00:27:39 | 00:27:45 | that book is attractive then that person |
| 00:27:42 | 00:27:48 | comes to you I literally showed up |
| 00:27:45 | 00:27:50 | downtown like I I the story is like I |
| 00:27:48 | 00:27:53 | never ever come to his area where he |
| 00:27:50 | 00:27:56 | lives and I just happen to be there and |
| 00:27:53 | 00:28:00 | I was the one who reached out to him I |
| 00:27:56 | 00:28:03 | was the one who contacted him and so he |
| 00:28:00 | 00:28:05 | literally attracted me into his life and |
| 00:28:03 | 00:28:07 | and so yeah there's a lot of |
| 00:28:05 | 00:28:10 | serendipitous things that occurred that |
| 00:28:07 | 00:28:14 | we call these blessings blessings it's |
| 00:28:10 | 00:28:15 | the universe God that guided us and um |
| 00:28:14 | 00:28:18 | you know is having that faith and that |
| 00:28:15 | 00:28:20 | trust as well but it's not just like |
| 00:28:18 | 00:28:22 | this is what I want and I want it right |
| 00:28:20 | 00:28:22 | now |
| 00:28:22 | 00:28:25 | that's why I think |
| 00:28:25 | 00:28:30 | shinhole concept is misconstrued it's |
| 00:28:28 | 00:28:32 | not just like thinking of what you want |
| 00:28:30 | 00:28:34 | or creating a vision board and then |
| 00:28:32 | 00:28:37 | Blanket's gonna happen like you actually |
| 00:28:34 | 00:28:39 | have to now take action right it's like |
| 00:28:37 | 00:28:40 | you actually had to date people right |
| 00:28:39 | 00:28:42 | you actually have to put your get |
| 00:28:40 | 00:28:44 | yourself out there this is another you |
| 00:28:42 | 00:28:46 | know part of finding your soulmate is |
| 00:28:44 | 00:28:48 | you have to get out there if you do all |
| 00:28:46 | 00:28:50 | this stuff that Stefan explained and |
| 00:28:48 | 00:28:52 | shared with you but you stay cooped up |
| 00:28:50 | 00:28:54 | in your apartment and you never leave |
| 00:28:52 | 00:28:56 | well what are the chances are you |
| 00:28:54 | 00:28:57 | actually um you know finding that person |
| 00:28:56 | 00:28:59 | and that person being able to find you |
| 00:28:57 | 00:29:02 | yeah and every experience that you have |
| 00:28:59 | 00:29:03 | dating meeting people is actually part |
| 00:29:02 | 00:29:05 | of your growth and development that |
| 00:29:03 | 00:29:07 | allows you to become that person that |
| 00:29:05 | 00:29:09 | you ultimately want to be to attract |
| 00:29:07 | 00:29:11 | that person that you want you know every |
| 00:29:09 | 00:29:13 | woman that I approached that rejected me |
| 00:29:11 | 00:29:14 | was actually giving me a gift was |
| 00:29:13 | 00:29:17 | actually giving me an opportunity to |
| 00:29:14 | 00:29:18 | work on myself to improve myself to you |
| 00:29:17 | 00:29:20 | know perhaps be indifferent to what |
| 00:29:18 | 00:29:22 | people think about me to be a more |
| 00:29:20 | 00:29:24 | confident man and so I appreciate all |
| 00:29:22 | 00:29:25 | those experiences or every relationship |
| 00:29:24 | 00:29:28 | that I might have had you know there's |
| 00:29:25 | 00:29:30 | things that every person I was with was |
| 00:29:28 | 00:29:35 | a teacher to me in some way you know |
| 00:29:30 | 00:29:37 | they exposed my my insecurities or you |
| 00:29:35 | 00:29:39 | know my emotional reactions or whatever |
| 00:29:37 | 00:29:41 | and I'll you know put a spotlight on |
| 00:29:39 | 00:29:44 | that so that I could work on and improve |
| 00:29:41 | 00:29:46 | that so every experience you have every |
| 00:29:44 | 00:29:49 | person in your life is an opportunity |
| 00:29:46 | 00:29:50 | for you to grow and improve yourself and |
| 00:29:49 | 00:29:52 | that's the beautiful thing and |
| 00:29:50 | 00:29:53 | ultimately the person that you spend |
| 00:29:52 | 00:29:55 | your life with is your ultimate |
| 00:29:53 | 00:29:57 | spiritual teacher because they're going |
| 00:29:55 | 00:29:59 | to help you grow more than anything else |
| 00:29:57 | 00:30:00 | in your life because there's nowhere |
| 00:29:59 | 00:30:03 | else in your life that's going to bring |
| 00:30:00 | 00:30:04 | up your deepest fears of not feeling |
| 00:30:03 | 00:30:06 | like you're enough and not feeling like |
| 00:30:04 | 00:30:08 | you're loved and that's what happens in |
| 00:30:06 | 00:30:11 | a relationship because you're going to |
| 00:30:08 | 00:30:12 | open yourself to this person in ways |
| 00:30:11 | 00:30:14 | that you never will with anyone else and |
| 00:30:12 | 00:30:17 | you're going to be your most vulnerable |
| 00:30:14 | 00:30:20 | and with that it's gonna elicit and |
| 00:30:17 | 00:30:22 | bring about some childhood traumas some |
| 00:30:20 | 00:30:25 | insecurities that that you might have |
| 00:30:22 | 00:30:27 | all of that stuff which is an |
| 00:30:25 | 00:30:30 | opportunity for you to work on yourself |
| 00:30:27 | 00:30:33 | and to grow so growth is such a huge uh |
| 00:30:30 | 00:30:34 | component of this and that's really |
| 00:30:33 | 00:30:36 | what's going to allow you to attract |
| 00:30:34 | 00:30:38 | what you want is continue to grow and |
| 00:30:36 | 00:30:40 | evolve because look if you're not |
| 00:30:38 | 00:30:41 | satisfied with what you're attracting |
| 00:30:40 | 00:30:43 | you're going to look yourself in the |
| 00:30:41 | 00:30:46 | mirror you know because that's kind of |
| 00:30:43 | 00:30:47 | what it's like it's like a mere uh you |
| 00:30:46 | 00:30:49 | know you are attracting someone who's |
| 00:30:47 | 00:30:52 | negative and complains all the time well |
| 00:30:49 | 00:30:55 | do you complain a lot are you negative |
| 00:30:52 | 00:30:57 | you know if um you know because really I |
| 00:30:55 | 00:30:58 | mean someone who's truly happy is not |
| 00:30:57 | 00:31:00 | going to be attracted to someone who's |
| 00:30:58 | 00:31:02 | negative and complaining all the time |
| 00:31:00 | 00:31:03 | right or if you're like attracting all |
| 00:31:02 | 00:31:06 | these men or women that are just always |
| 00:31:03 | 00:31:08 | have so much drama going on well are you |
| 00:31:06 | 00:31:09 | a dramatik person maybe you got to look |
| 00:31:08 | 00:31:12 | at yourself and see what you're putting |
| 00:31:09 | 00:31:14 | out and what you're attracting so we |
| 00:31:12 | 00:31:15 | always just take responsibility and the |
| 00:31:14 | 00:31:17 | reason why responsibility is so |
| 00:31:15 | 00:31:20 | important is because you can do |
| 00:31:17 | 00:31:22 | something about it whenever you don't |
| 00:31:20 | 00:31:24 | take responsibility you blame and you |
| 00:31:22 | 00:31:26 | deflect you have no control but if I |
| 00:31:24 | 00:31:28 | take ownership and responsibility now I |
| 00:31:26 | 00:31:32 | have a power to do something so taking |
| 00:31:28 | 00:31:33 | control of of of the results and |
| 00:31:32 | 00:31:35 | responsibility of what's showing up for |
| 00:31:33 | 00:31:38 | you gives you the power to do something |
| 00:31:35 | 00:31:39 | to make things better because why focus |
| 00:31:38 | 00:31:41 | on what you can't control if you focus |
| 00:31:39 | 00:31:42 | on what you can't control you're going |
| 00:31:41 | 00:31:45 | to go crazy if you focus on what you can |
| 00:31:42 | 00:31:47 | control then it's going to lead to Hope |
| 00:31:45 | 00:31:48 | and possibility yeah sometimes when |
| 00:31:47 | 00:31:52 | people hear us toking about taking |
| 00:31:48 | 00:31:55 | responsibility they feel like sensitive |
| 00:31:52 | 00:31:57 | or triggered by that word like well it's |
| 00:31:55 | 00:31:59 | not my fault but it's actually very |
| 00:31:57 | 00:32:00 | empowering and that's the way we see it |
| 00:31:59 | 00:32:03 | like respect I think in responsibility |
| 00:32:00 | 00:32:04 | is total empowerment because it means |
| 00:32:03 | 00:32:06 | that you can actually create change in |
| 00:32:04 | 00:32:08 | your life it means that you're not the |
| 00:32:06 | 00:32:09 | victim so that's really important too |
| 00:32:08 | 00:32:10 | um okay let's move on to the next see |
| 00:32:09 | 00:32:12 | how many questions we'll get to here |
| 00:32:10 | 00:32:14 | because we're giving you guys very |
| 00:32:12 | 00:32:16 | in-depth answers |
| 00:32:14 | 00:32:19 | um okay how do you both deal with |
| 00:32:16 | 00:32:23 | arguments and fights well you know |
| 00:32:19 | 00:32:26 | Stefan and I first of all we don't let |
| 00:32:23 | 00:32:27 | ourselves get to the point where we're |
| 00:32:26 | 00:32:30 | like spitting in each other's faces |
| 00:32:27 | 00:32:33 | arguing and fighting we both come from |
| 00:32:30 | 00:32:35 | families where there were times when |
| 00:32:33 | 00:32:37 | that was happening our parents would |
| 00:32:35 | 00:32:39 | fight I remember being in between my |
| 00:32:37 | 00:32:42 | parents many times when they're right up |
| 00:32:39 | 00:32:45 | facing like just just so much anger and |
| 00:32:42 | 00:32:47 | I'm like Mom Dad stop and so we both had |
| 00:32:45 | 00:32:49 | that experience in childhood and we we |
| 00:32:47 | 00:32:51 | individually said I never want to have |
| 00:32:49 | 00:32:53 | that in my life I never want to be in a |
| 00:32:51 | 00:32:55 | relationship like that so we because of |
| 00:32:53 | 00:32:56 | our experience growing up we already |
| 00:32:55 | 00:32:58 | knew this is not what we want in our |
| 00:32:56 | 00:33:00 | lives and we will never we'll never |
| 00:32:58 | 00:33:02 | succumb to that standard we'll never |
| 00:33:00 | 00:33:04 | allow our standards to drop where we get |
| 00:33:02 | 00:33:07 | to the point where we are disrespecting |
| 00:33:04 | 00:33:08 | each other and respect is key in a |
| 00:33:07 | 00:33:11 | relationship it's very very important |
| 00:33:08 | 00:33:13 | you have to respect your spouse and we |
| 00:33:11 | 00:33:15 | don't ever let it get to the point where |
| 00:33:13 | 00:33:16 | yes there are times where we disagree |
| 00:33:15 | 00:33:18 | like there are many times we don't agree |
| 00:33:16 | 00:33:20 | on everything there are times where we |
| 00:33:18 | 00:33:22 | get annoyed with each other or triggered |
| 00:33:20 | 00:33:23 | by each other but we never let it get to |
| 00:33:22 | 00:33:25 | the point where we are going to |
| 00:33:23 | 00:33:26 | disrespect each other where we're going |
| 00:33:25 | 00:33:28 | to swear at each other where we're going |
| 00:33:26 | 00:33:30 | to be abusive with each other it's just |
| 00:33:28 | 00:33:32 | it it that's not a healthy relationship |
| 00:33:30 | 00:33:35 | and we'll never lower ourselves to that |
| 00:33:32 | 00:33:38 | point and so for us |
| 00:33:35 | 00:33:42 | um you know yes we do get into certain |
| 00:33:38 | 00:33:44 | disagreements but what we do is we all |
| 00:33:42 | 00:33:47 | we are each individually on our own |
| 00:33:44 | 00:33:51 | personal journeys of growth and your |
| 00:33:47 | 00:33:54 | your personal growth is so important not |
| 00:33:51 | 00:33:56 | just for yourself but with whomever you |
| 00:33:54 | 00:33:58 | spend time with with all the people that |
| 00:33:56 | 00:34:00 | are a part of your life especially the |
| 00:33:58 | 00:34:03 | person that you spend your life with |
| 00:34:00 | 00:34:06 | because when you grow and you bring |
| 00:34:03 | 00:34:08 | awareness to your life into what you do |
| 00:34:06 | 00:34:10 | every single day when you're able to |
| 00:34:08 | 00:34:12 | separate yourself from your actions and |
| 00:34:10 | 00:34:14 | from your thoughts and you can grow in |
| 00:34:12 | 00:34:17 | Consciousness you're going to be able to |
| 00:34:14 | 00:34:18 | bring that into your relationship and so |
| 00:34:17 | 00:34:22 | we try to take the most conscious |
| 00:34:18 | 00:34:25 | approach and sometimes one of us is at a |
| 00:34:22 | 00:34:27 | low level Consciousness and whoever is |
| 00:34:25 | 00:34:29 | at the highest level of Consciousness is |
| 00:34:27 | 00:34:32 | the one who just is sane it's the one |
| 00:34:29 | 00:34:35 | who says you know what okay let's agree |
| 00:34:32 | 00:34:37 | to disagree it's fine I love you let's |
| 00:34:35 | 00:34:39 | just choose love because ultimately what |
| 00:34:37 | 00:34:41 | is the goal here you know ultimately in |
| 00:34:39 | 00:34:43 | a relationship again you are a |
| 00:34:41 | 00:34:46 | partnership we're a partnership and that |
| 00:34:43 | 00:34:48 | means that our goal is love our goal is |
| 00:34:46 | 00:34:50 | to be in love is to bring joy to each |
| 00:34:48 | 00:34:53 | other's lives is to help meet each |
| 00:34:50 | 00:34:55 | other's needs if we're fighting well |
| 00:34:53 | 00:34:56 | wouldn't that mean that we're enemies if |
| 00:34:55 | 00:34:59 | we're fighting would that mean we're not |
| 00:34:56 | 00:35:01 | on the same team so we want to be on the |
| 00:34:59 | 00:35:03 | same team and so we want to make sure |
| 00:35:01 | 00:35:06 | that we are just bringing Consciousness |
| 00:35:03 | 00:35:08 | to the relationship and we we do that |
| 00:35:06 | 00:35:10 | like you know for there's a lot of |
| 00:35:08 | 00:35:12 | things that we just let go because we're |
| 00:35:10 | 00:35:14 | like okay you know what it's not worth |
| 00:35:12 | 00:35:17 | it you know it's just let it go and just |
| 00:35:14 | 00:35:20 | you know choose the higher path and |
| 00:35:17 | 00:35:22 | um and and and so it allows us to avoid |
| 00:35:20 | 00:35:24 | a lot of unnecessary conflict and |
| 00:35:22 | 00:35:26 | arguments and |
| 00:35:24 | 00:35:28 | um drama in our relationship |
| 00:35:26 | 00:35:31 | yeah you know it's it's ultimately |
| 00:35:28 | 00:35:33 | realizing that um you know when these |
| 00:35:31 | 00:35:35 | have these arguments these fights |
| 00:35:33 | 00:35:39 | oftentimes it's because you're in your |
| 00:35:35 | 00:35:41 | ego and your ego is just fear and your |
| 00:35:39 | 00:35:42 | ego uh says that I'm right and you're |
| 00:35:41 | 00:35:43 | wrong |
| 00:35:42 | 00:35:45 | and you got to be very careful when you |
| 00:35:43 | 00:35:46 | get to that point because that's when |
| 00:35:45 | 00:35:49 | you're unconscious that's when you're |
| 00:35:46 | 00:35:51 | caught up in your ego and you really |
| 00:35:49 | 00:35:55 | when you when you become conscious a big |
| 00:35:51 | 00:35:58 | part of it is looking at being able to |
| 00:35:55 | 00:36:00 | let go of your attachment to being right |
| 00:35:58 | 00:36:01 | uh because how do you know if you're |
| 00:36:00 | 00:36:03 | really right and the other person's |
| 00:36:01 | 00:36:06 | wrong you know there is no right or |
| 00:36:03 | 00:36:07 | wrong there's possibilities and to |
| 00:36:06 | 00:36:09 | become a more conscious person you have |
| 00:36:07 | 00:36:12 | to step out of your attachment of being |
| 00:36:09 | 00:36:15 | right and you have to be willing to get |
| 00:36:12 | 00:36:17 | outside of your belief and be able to |
| 00:36:15 | 00:36:19 | look at the other person's perspective |
| 00:36:17 | 00:36:21 | you know to be able to walk into their |
| 00:36:19 | 00:36:24 | shoes and see okay why why do they |
| 00:36:21 | 00:36:26 | believe this why are they reacting this |
| 00:36:24 | 00:36:29 | way why you know why are they upset |
| 00:36:26 | 00:36:31 | right now and be and that's what self |
| 00:36:29 | 00:36:33 | personal development does is it allows |
| 00:36:31 | 00:36:35 | you to understand human beings on a |
| 00:36:33 | 00:36:37 | deeper level because I know that you |
| 00:36:35 | 00:36:40 | know if Tatiana says or does something |
| 00:36:37 | 00:36:42 | that is a critikism or whatever it is |
| 00:36:40 | 00:36:44 | it's not really anything to do with me |
| 00:36:42 | 00:36:46 | is something going on with her that |
| 00:36:44 | 00:36:47 | she's in a state of suffering you know |
| 00:36:46 | 00:36:49 | there's actually two types of responses |
| 00:36:47 | 00:36:51 | that you can have in any communication |
| 00:36:49 | 00:36:53 | there's either a loving response or |
| 00:36:51 | 00:36:54 | there's a cry for help if it's not a |
| 00:36:53 | 00:36:57 | loving response it's a cry for help so |
| 00:36:54 | 00:36:58 | if someone's angry if they're upset if |
| 00:36:57 | 00:37:01 | they're yelling if they're critikizing |
| 00:36:58 | 00:37:02 | if they're making inappropriate comments |
| 00:37:01 | 00:37:04 | then I know that's a cry for help this |
| 00:37:02 | 00:37:06 | person's suffering and so when you |
| 00:37:04 | 00:37:07 | become more conscious you're able to |
| 00:37:06 | 00:37:10 | step outside yourself and understand it |
| 00:37:07 | 00:37:13 | and appreciate their world as Stephen |
| 00:37:10 | 00:37:16 | Covey says seek first to understand then |
| 00:37:13 | 00:37:17 | to be understood and so a lot of people |
| 00:37:16 | 00:37:20 | they're not willing to do this because |
| 00:37:17 | 00:37:21 | their ego gets you know their ego |
| 00:37:20 | 00:37:23 | doesn't want to change the ego doesn't |
| 00:37:21 | 00:37:25 | want to be wrong and the egos is trying |
| 00:37:23 | 00:37:26 | to preserve itself it's trying to |
| 00:37:25 | 00:37:28 | preserve your identity and all these |
| 00:37:26 | 00:37:31 | beliefs and it has so much attachment to |
| 00:37:28 | 00:37:33 | it so when you can realize these beliefs |
| 00:37:31 | 00:37:36 | and these behaviors not really who this |
| 00:37:33 | 00:37:38 | person is at their soul then you can put |
| 00:37:36 | 00:37:40 | that aside and focus on just loving this |
| 00:37:38 | 00:37:42 | person having compassion having |
| 00:37:40 | 00:37:44 | forgiveness for this person and that's |
| 00:37:42 | 00:37:46 | what we try to work on in our |
| 00:37:44 | 00:37:48 | relationship and then the other piece is |
| 00:37:46 | 00:37:49 | that you can have disagreements which is |
| 00:37:48 | 00:37:53 | just you know you have your belief I |
| 00:37:49 | 00:37:55 | have my belief but when you argue when |
| 00:37:53 | 00:37:57 | you yell when you fight when you say |
| 00:37:55 | 00:38:00 | inappropriate things |
| 00:37:57 | 00:38:03 | that that's more a reflection of what's |
| 00:38:00 | 00:38:06 | going on within you because why you know |
| 00:38:03 | 00:38:09 | for me if I get upset |
| 00:38:06 | 00:38:10 | why am I so triggered by this why why am |
| 00:38:09 | 00:38:13 | I hooked by this why is this affecting |
| 00:38:10 | 00:38:15 | me so much what am I overvaluing yeah |
| 00:38:13 | 00:38:17 | why am I so attached to this why what am |
| 00:38:15 | 00:38:19 | I overvaluing right now what am I |
| 00:38:17 | 00:38:21 | believing right now in my mind for me to |
| 00:38:19 | 00:38:24 | react and behave in this way because you |
| 00:38:21 | 00:38:25 | can have a healthy disagreement but you |
| 00:38:24 | 00:38:27 | should never get to the point where |
| 00:38:25 | 00:38:29 | you're yelling arguing fighting that's |
| 00:38:27 | 00:38:30 | something that's going on with you that |
| 00:38:29 | 00:38:32 | you need to heal that has nothing to do |
| 00:38:30 | 00:38:33 | with the other person right so that's |
| 00:38:32 | 00:38:35 | something that you got to take |
| 00:38:33 | 00:38:38 | responsibility for and as part of your |
| 00:38:35 | 00:38:40 | job is to work on yourself so that you |
| 00:38:38 | 00:38:43 | don't have you can disagree without |
| 00:38:40 | 00:38:45 | having a negative reaction and and that |
| 00:38:43 | 00:38:46 | doesn't just go for a relationship in |
| 00:38:45 | 00:38:48 | your partner your relationship will |
| 00:38:46 | 00:38:49 | bring that out because it's a place of |
| 00:38:48 | 00:38:51 | intimacy and You're vulnerable and you |
| 00:38:49 | 00:38:54 | can get hurt a lot easier but you see |
| 00:38:51 | 00:38:57 | people react in crazy ways on social |
| 00:38:54 | 00:39:00 | media with covid with politiks with |
| 00:38:57 | 00:39:01 | religion all of that stuff but why are |
| 00:39:00 | 00:39:05 | people so triggered why there's there's |
| 00:39:01 | 00:39:07 | a deeper uh pain that's going on in that |
| 00:39:05 | 00:39:09 | person whether it's trauma whether it's |
| 00:39:07 | 00:39:11 | they have some unresolved issues anger |
| 00:39:09 | 00:39:13 | resentments it's just like you know when |
| 00:39:11 | 00:39:15 | someone bullies someone in school |
| 00:39:13 | 00:39:17 | everybody knows a bully is the insecure |
| 00:39:15 | 00:39:19 | one the bully is the reason why they're |
| 00:39:17 | 00:39:20 | behaving that way is because they're not |
| 00:39:19 | 00:39:23 | happy within themselves because if they |
| 00:39:20 | 00:39:24 | were they only answer an expression that |
| 00:39:23 | 00:39:27 | comes out of someone who's truly happy |
| 00:39:24 | 00:39:29 | is love is positivity you know there is |
| 00:39:27 | 00:39:31 | no anger that exists within someone |
| 00:39:29 | 00:39:33 | who's truly happy and fulfilled in their |
| 00:39:31 | 00:39:35 | life and so if raising your |
| 00:39:33 | 00:39:37 | Consciousness is the ultimate goal and |
| 00:39:35 | 00:39:39 | having a conscious relationship then you |
| 00:39:37 | 00:39:41 | need to be willing to look at yourself |
| 00:39:39 | 00:39:44 | and how you're reacting |
| 00:39:41 | 00:39:46 | and you know Tatiana uh for example you |
| 00:39:44 | 00:39:48 | know some some one thing that sometimes |
| 00:39:46 | 00:39:51 | triggers me is if she's taking a long |
| 00:39:48 | 00:39:52 | time to do something well she you know I |
| 00:39:51 | 00:39:54 | might disagree with that and I could |
| 00:39:52 | 00:39:56 | tok to her about that but why am I |
| 00:39:54 | 00:39:57 | being annoyed by that why am I being |
| 00:39:56 | 00:40:00 | irritated by that why you know what |
| 00:39:57 | 00:40:01 | what's that reaction okay what do I need |
| 00:40:00 | 00:40:03 | to work on with myself maybe I got to |
| 00:40:01 | 00:40:06 | work on being more patient maybe I need |
| 00:40:03 | 00:40:08 | to but there you can have a disagreement |
| 00:40:06 | 00:40:10 | in beliefs without the emotion tied to |
| 00:40:08 | 00:40:12 | it and that's something that is an |
| 00:40:10 | 00:40:15 | important thing to look at I so |
| 00:40:12 | 00:40:18 | basically the way I see it in my life is |
| 00:40:15 | 00:40:21 | that anything anytime that I'm triggered |
| 00:40:18 | 00:40:23 | by something anytime that I feel fear |
| 00:40:21 | 00:40:25 | arising in my body anytime that someone |
| 00:40:23 | 00:40:27 | does something or hear a piece of news |
| 00:40:25 | 00:40:29 | that causes you know anytime I'm feeling |
| 00:40:27 | 00:40:31 | uncomfortable I'm seeing this as an |
| 00:40:29 | 00:40:33 | opportunity it's an opportunity because |
| 00:40:31 | 00:40:35 | it's an opportunity for me to think |
| 00:40:33 | 00:40:38 | about myself and to reflect on something |
| 00:40:35 | 00:40:40 | deeper within me something deeper that I |
| 00:40:38 | 00:40:42 | could maybe resolve and it can help me |
| 00:40:40 | 00:40:43 | to raise my level of Consciousness so |
| 00:40:42 | 00:40:47 | even before we started filming today |
| 00:40:43 | 00:40:49 | like you know it was kind of chaotik to |
| 00:40:47 | 00:40:51 | be honest you know the dog was kind of |
| 00:40:49 | 00:40:53 | being annoyed and it took forever to get |
| 00:40:51 | 00:40:56 | the microphone set up and the whole |
| 00:40:53 | 00:40:58 | thing was just taking so long and you |
| 00:40:56 | 00:41:01 | know Stefan um was a bit impatient about |
| 00:40:58 | 00:41:03 | it and um you know and and so for him |
| 00:41:01 | 00:41:05 | he's like well wait a minute like this |
| 00:41:03 | 00:41:08 | is an opportunity right I could be |
| 00:41:05 | 00:41:10 | impatient I could get upset about it and |
| 00:41:08 | 00:41:12 | you know it could you know affect my |
| 00:41:10 | 00:41:14 | state or I could say well maybe this is |
| 00:41:12 | 00:41:16 | an opportunity maybe this is actually a |
| 00:41:14 | 00:41:18 | gift maybe all of these delays is a gift |
| 00:41:16 | 00:41:20 | for me to actually sit down and meditate |
| 00:41:18 | 00:41:22 | for a moment before I start filming and |
| 00:41:20 | 00:41:26 | and actually you know ask okay maybe |
| 00:41:22 | 00:41:27 | patience is my um is my teacher this is |
| 00:41:26 | 00:41:29 | what I need to learn everyone's got |
| 00:41:27 | 00:41:33 | their thing right maybe you know for you |
| 00:41:29 | 00:41:35 | it's patience maybe for me it's um it's |
| 00:41:33 | 00:41:37 | insecurity maybe you know everyone's got |
| 00:41:35 | 00:41:39 | their thing right and it's just seeing |
| 00:41:37 | 00:41:41 | that this is what it I need to work on |
| 00:41:39 | 00:41:43 | Within Myself And if I can work on that |
| 00:41:41 | 00:41:45 | and overcome that that's going to allow |
| 00:41:43 | 00:41:47 | me to achieve more freedom Within Myself |
| 00:41:45 | 00:41:49 | and it's going to allow me to raise my |
| 00:41:47 | 00:41:51 | level of Consciousness and bring more |
| 00:41:49 | 00:41:52 | Consciousness to my relationship now the |
| 00:41:51 | 00:41:55 | last thing I want to say before we get |
| 00:41:52 | 00:41:58 | to the next question is one thing that |
| 00:41:55 | 00:42:01 | we from the day that we decided that we |
| 00:41:58 | 00:42:04 | are committed to each other we told each |
| 00:42:01 | 00:42:06 | other I know your soul I know that your |
| 00:42:04 | 00:42:09 | intent is pure I know that you love me I |
| 00:42:06 | 00:42:12 | love you and I that's something that |
| 00:42:09 | 00:42:14 | will never change I know your intent and |
| 00:42:12 | 00:42:16 | I think that's very important because in |
| 00:42:14 | 00:42:17 | relationships yes there's going to be |
| 00:42:16 | 00:42:20 | things that you disagree on we know we |
| 00:42:17 | 00:42:22 | covered that but we what we promised |
| 00:42:20 | 00:42:25 | each other is that we will always know |
| 00:42:22 | 00:42:27 | that our intent is pure in spite of the |
| 00:42:25 | 00:42:29 | actions in spite of the words in spite |
| 00:42:27 | 00:42:31 | of whatever happens we know that this |
| 00:42:29 | 00:42:32 | person's not trying to hurt me I know |
| 00:42:31 | 00:42:34 | that Stefan would never try to |
| 00:42:32 | 00:42:36 | intentionally hurt me if he's doing |
| 00:42:34 | 00:42:37 | something that I feel hurt from it's |
| 00:42:36 | 00:42:39 | because there's something that he's |
| 00:42:37 | 00:42:41 | hurting from and it's just a cry for |
| 00:42:39 | 00:42:43 | help so I know that he never actually |
| 00:42:41 | 00:42:44 | wants to hurt me because his intent is |
| 00:42:43 | 00:42:46 | pure and it's a promise it's something |
| 00:42:44 | 00:42:50 | that we know about each other and so it |
| 00:42:46 | 00:42:52 | allows us to to to rise above the |
| 00:42:50 | 00:42:54 | situation rise above the events rise |
| 00:42:52 | 00:42:56 | above the arguments of what's being said |
| 00:42:54 | 00:42:57 | and to kind of step outside of that and |
| 00:42:56 | 00:42:59 | see things for a different perspective |
| 00:42:57 | 00:43:01 | of like yeah maybe this is a cry for |
| 00:42:59 | 00:43:04 | help yeah you know we're both trying to |
| 00:43:01 | 00:43:06 | focus on being forgiving you know being |
| 00:43:04 | 00:43:08 | someone who's forgiving means that you |
| 00:43:06 | 00:43:10 | have the ability to forgive the other |
| 00:43:08 | 00:43:11 | person and you can forgive people |
| 00:43:10 | 00:43:13 | because you know that you're not perfect |
| 00:43:11 | 00:43:16 | oh yeah you know we all have flaws and |
| 00:43:13 | 00:43:18 | we all have weaknesses but you know does |
| 00:43:16 | 00:43:20 | that make you a bad person because you |
| 00:43:18 | 00:43:23 | behaved no deep down in your soul you're |
| 00:43:20 | 00:43:25 | a beautiful person and um you know we |
| 00:43:23 | 00:43:27 | always remind ourselves of that but all |
| 00:43:25 | 00:43:30 | of this requires Consciousness awareness |
| 00:43:27 | 00:43:33 | the ability to think on this level to be |
| 00:43:30 | 00:43:34 | able to get outside of yourself and be |
| 00:43:33 | 00:43:37 | open to other possibilities and |
| 00:43:34 | 00:43:39 | perspectives and the other important |
| 00:43:37 | 00:43:41 | piece too here is |
| 00:43:39 | 00:43:43 | you know one question you can ask |
| 00:43:41 | 00:43:45 | yourself whenever you're in a fight is |
| 00:43:43 | 00:43:46 | do I want to be right |
| 00:43:45 | 00:43:48 | or do I want to be in love |
| 00:43:46 | 00:43:50 | do I want to be right |
| 00:43:48 | 00:43:52 | or would I rather be happy |
| 00:43:50 | 00:43:54 | at the end of the day who gives a |
| 00:43:52 | 00:43:56 | about being right it's like oh yeah I |
| 00:43:54 | 00:43:58 | won the fight okay well what do you |
| 00:43:56 | 00:43:59 | really win from that except you just |
| 00:43:58 | 00:44:01 | cause harm and damage to your |
| 00:43:59 | 00:44:04 | relationship yeah your ego is like |
| 00:44:01 | 00:44:06 | satisfied because I was right and the |
| 00:44:04 | 00:44:09 | other person apologized now you know but |
| 00:44:06 | 00:44:11 | that was at the cost of your |
| 00:44:09 | 00:44:13 | relationship so if you can let that go |
| 00:44:11 | 00:44:15 | and say you know what who gives a |
| 00:44:13 | 00:44:16 | who's right and wrong I'm wrong you can |
| 00:44:15 | 00:44:18 | be right if you want I don't care it's |
| 00:44:16 | 00:44:20 | like I want to be in love I want to be |
| 00:44:18 | 00:44:23 | happy that's the most important thing |
| 00:44:20 | 00:44:25 | but it's the ego that wants to be right |
| 00:44:23 | 00:44:28 | wants to hold on to that whenever you |
| 00:44:25 | 00:44:29 | can identify ego hates being caught when |
| 00:44:28 | 00:44:32 | you you can bring awareness and identify |
| 00:44:29 | 00:44:34 | the ego hey that's the ego then that's |
| 00:44:32 | 00:44:36 | how you have awareness and Consciousness |
| 00:44:34 | 00:44:38 | in that moment when you caught it |
| 00:44:36 | 00:44:40 | because it tries to avoid that so I |
| 00:44:38 | 00:44:42 | think that's part of letting things go |
| 00:44:40 | 00:44:44 | so there's a lot of things in our |
| 00:44:42 | 00:44:46 | relationship like there are many times |
| 00:44:44 | 00:44:48 | that yeah I just yeah I could I could |
| 00:44:46 | 00:44:51 | stir up a fright I could you know call |
| 00:44:48 | 00:44:53 | him out on that and I'm sure vice versa |
| 00:44:51 | 00:44:55 | but it's just like Let It Go because if |
| 00:44:53 | 00:44:57 | okay so yeah you stir something up and |
| 00:44:55 | 00:44:59 | you show them that they're wrong but |
| 00:44:57 | 00:45:01 | like then you've ruined your day and now |
| 00:44:59 | 00:45:03 | you have no chemistry and intimacy |
| 00:45:01 | 00:45:05 | between each other and you're upset with |
| 00:45:03 | 00:45:08 | each other and it's like what for |
| 00:45:05 | 00:45:11 | ultimately again the outcome is love the |
| 00:45:08 | 00:45:15 | outcome is to be a unit and to work |
| 00:45:11 | 00:45:17 | together like we are we what we're here |
| 00:45:15 | 00:45:19 | to do is to bless each other's lives you |
| 00:45:17 | 00:45:20 | know I want to be a joy in his life he |
| 00:45:19 | 00:45:22 | wants to be a joy in my life and we want |
| 00:45:20 | 00:45:24 | to support each other because life is |
| 00:45:22 | 00:45:26 | hard enough as it is we don't need you |
| 00:45:24 | 00:45:29 | know each other to make things even |
| 00:45:26 | 00:45:31 | harder so um we just want to help each |
| 00:45:29 | 00:45:33 | other out as much as we can and just one |
| 00:45:31 | 00:45:35 | more thing it's going back to the |
| 00:45:33 | 00:45:37 | opportunity to grow and to be a giver |
| 00:45:35 | 00:45:40 | okay that that that's I think one of the |
| 00:45:37 | 00:45:42 | most important highest purposes that you |
| 00:45:40 | 00:45:44 | can have is to evolve yourself and |
| 00:45:42 | 00:45:45 | become more self-actualized so that you |
| 00:45:44 | 00:45:47 | are more of a giver |
| 00:45:45 | 00:45:49 | and uh you know for example there might |
| 00:45:47 | 00:45:51 | be a situation where you have an |
| 00:45:49 | 00:45:54 | expectation and that expectation is not |
| 00:45:51 | 00:45:56 | being met so maybe it's like okay I |
| 00:45:54 | 00:45:58 | expect for them to have dinner prepared |
| 00:45:56 | 00:46:00 | and they didn't do that and so I'm upset |
| 00:45:58 | 00:46:03 | and I'm angry well maybe that's an |
| 00:46:00 | 00:46:04 | opportunity for you maybe that's an |
| 00:46:03 | 00:46:06 | opportunity for you to step up and to be |
| 00:46:04 | 00:46:08 | a giver right now you know and that and |
| 00:46:06 | 00:46:10 | that's an opportunity for you to evolve |
| 00:46:08 | 00:46:12 | your Consciousness or you know they left |
| 00:46:10 | 00:46:13 | out their clothes you know I could be |
| 00:46:12 | 00:46:15 | upset and I can cause a whole fight |
| 00:46:13 | 00:46:17 | around that or I can say you know what |
| 00:46:15 | 00:46:18 | I'm gonna I'm gonna step up I wanna be a |
| 00:46:17 | 00:46:20 | giver right now I'm gonna I'm gonna |
| 00:46:18 | 00:46:22 | clean up and I'm not gonna have this |
| 00:46:20 | 00:46:24 | expectation it's not going to be this |
| 00:46:22 | 00:46:26 | trade where it's like I'm doing this and |
| 00:46:24 | 00:46:28 | you're not doing that who cares about |
| 00:46:26 | 00:46:30 | measuring who's getting more than the |
| 00:46:28 | 00:46:32 | other you know that that that doesn't |
| 00:46:30 | 00:46:34 | you want to pride yourself in the one |
| 00:46:32 | 00:46:36 | that's giving more to your partner you |
| 00:46:34 | 00:46:37 | know that's that's the identity that you |
| 00:46:36 | 00:46:39 | want to have for yourself and take on is |
| 00:46:37 | 00:46:41 | that I'm the kind of person that's |
| 00:46:39 | 00:46:43 | giving more to my part and I'm giving |
| 00:46:41 | 00:46:44 | you know and stepping up and you get joy |
| 00:46:43 | 00:46:46 | and pleasure in that because whatever |
| 00:46:44 | 00:46:48 | you give you get to keep whatever you |
| 00:46:46 | 00:46:50 | give you get to feel an experience |
| 00:46:48 | 00:46:53 | within yourself it benefits you |
| 00:46:50 | 00:46:55 | so you know becoming more conscious |
| 00:46:53 | 00:46:58 | becoming more of a giver contribution |
| 00:46:55 | 00:47:01 | these are just values and beliefs and um |
| 00:46:58 | 00:47:03 | you know it's just an ideal to pursue in |
| 00:47:01 | 00:47:04 | your relationship that you're not going |
| 00:47:03 | 00:47:06 | to be perfect with it's a lifelong |
| 00:47:04 | 00:47:08 | journey but that's part of the Spiritual |
| 00:47:06 | 00:47:10 | Development that we all go through yeah |
| 00:47:08 | 00:47:11 | yeah on the last |
| 00:47:10 | 00:47:13 | event |
| 00:47:11 | 00:47:17 | um you know just think about the feeling |
| 00:47:13 | 00:47:19 | if you want to be right at the cost of |
| 00:47:17 | 00:47:21 | maybe creating an argument and okay so |
| 00:47:19 | 00:47:23 | say you win the argument and you prove |
| 00:47:21 | 00:47:26 | that you write how do you feel not |
| 00:47:23 | 00:47:27 | really good right but what if you say |
| 00:47:26 | 00:47:30 | instead okay I'm just willing to let it |
| 00:47:27 | 00:47:33 | go and you know she's right he's right |
| 00:47:30 | 00:47:35 | like who cares how do you feel then well |
| 00:47:33 | 00:47:36 | you've been able to rise above it and |
| 00:47:35 | 00:47:38 | that's the feeling of Consciousness |
| 00:47:36 | 00:47:41 | that's the that's the feeling of taking |
| 00:47:38 | 00:47:44 | yeah the higher Road and it's much more |
| 00:47:41 | 00:47:45 | satisfying yeah and it's great okay I |
| 00:47:44 | 00:47:48 | don't know do we have time to do more |
| 00:47:45 | 00:47:49 | questions I think we should wrap this up |
| 00:47:48 | 00:47:51 | I think we've covered a lot of topics I |
| 00:47:49 | 00:47:52 | think we could have done a few YouTube |
| 00:47:51 | 00:47:54 | videos another video because we have |
| 00:47:52 | 00:47:55 | like a lot more yeah you know we can |
| 00:47:54 | 00:47:57 | maybe do another video for you guys |
| 00:47:55 | 00:47:58 | where we dive into some more of the |
| 00:47:57 | 00:47:59 | questions we don't want to keep this one |
| 00:47:58 | 00:48:01 | too long |
| 00:47:59 | 00:48:03 | um so let's wrap this one up if you guys |
| 00:48:01 | 00:48:05 | enjoyed this video uh give it a thumbs |
| 00:48:03 | 00:48:07 | up of course subscribe for more leave |
| 00:48:05 | 00:48:09 | comments below let us know what |
| 00:48:07 | 00:48:10 | resonated with you or maybe there's |
| 00:48:09 | 00:48:11 | other questions that you might have that |
| 00:48:10 | 00:48:14 | we can maybe be answered in a future |
| 00:48:11 | 00:48:17 | video but it's fun to do this because |
| 00:48:14 | 00:48:20 | you know we one of our Visions for our |
| 00:48:17 | 00:48:23 | our relationship is to inspire others |
| 00:48:20 | 00:48:24 | and to have a love so strong a passion |
| 00:48:23 | 00:48:26 | so strong that we can be an example and |
| 00:48:24 | 00:48:29 | Inspire others because you know it's so |
| 00:48:26 | 00:48:30 | hard to find amazing relationships I |
| 00:48:29 | 00:48:33 | don't know about you but when you look |
| 00:48:30 | 00:48:34 | around we didn't have many many good |
| 00:48:33 | 00:48:35 | Role Models our parents unfortunately |
| 00:48:34 | 00:48:37 | weren't |
| 00:48:35 | 00:48:40 | um you know there's a lot of uh the |
| 00:48:37 | 00:48:41 | divorce rate is so high and so when you |
| 00:48:40 | 00:48:44 | do find |
| 00:48:41 | 00:48:46 | um incredible relationships as a model |
| 00:48:44 | 00:48:48 | that's something that we both cherish |
| 00:48:46 | 00:48:50 | and we've been able to find not easy to |
| 00:48:48 | 00:48:52 | find but we make it our goal to try to |
| 00:48:50 | 00:48:54 | be that in some way for you guys as well |
| 00:48:52 | 00:48:56 | and and our relationship and our way of |
| 00:48:54 | 00:48:58 | being can be a contribution to the world |
| 00:48:56 | 00:49:02 | yeah absolutely there's so much that |
| 00:48:58 | 00:49:03 | we'd love to share but also just want to |
| 00:49:02 | 00:49:05 | remind you guys check out our wedding |
| 00:49:03 | 00:49:07 | video it's we're really excited to be |
| 00:49:05 | 00:49:08 | able to share the moment with you |
| 00:49:07 | 00:49:12 | because you guys have been part of our |
| 00:49:08 | 00:49:14 | journey you know pretty much since we |
| 00:49:12 | 00:49:15 | started dating we've been doing videos |
| 00:49:14 | 00:49:18 | together on YouTube and it's been really |
| 00:49:15 | 00:49:19 | cool to just share our relationship a |
| 00:49:18 | 00:49:22 | part of our relationship with you guys |
| 00:49:19 | 00:49:26 | and so yeah we would love for you to |
| 00:49:22 | 00:49:28 | watch that and enjoy um enjoy that with |
| 00:49:26 | 00:49:32 | us and leave us a comment and let us |
| 00:49:28 | 00:49:33 | know yeah how you're doing and yeah if |
| 00:49:32 | 00:49:35 | you have any questions about your |
| 00:49:33 | 00:49:37 | relationship or any other further |
| 00:49:35 | 00:49:39 | relationship questions that you would |
| 00:49:37 | 00:49:41 | like us to answer in another video just |
| 00:49:39 | 00:49:43 | let us know in the comment section of |
| 00:49:41 | 00:49:47 | this video so thank you so much for |
| 00:49:43 | 00:49:47 | watching and have a fabulous day |
